Vol. 1 Chapter 20: Yumi Asakawa’s reason. — Part 2

Translated and Edited by: ynlucca.

Common Honorifics:
-san: A polite suffix, but not excessively formal.
-kun: A common suffix among friends and younger people.
-chan: A common suffix among people you’re close with, mostly used for feminine nicknames and girls, since it’s cutesy and childlike.
-senpai: A common suffix and noun used to address or refer to one’s older or more senior colleagues in a school, workplace, dojo, or sports club.

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Our relationship was then broken off. Regardless, not once did I think it would be the end. “Yuu’s probably just not very good at expressing his feelings, our bond would never tear for something this trivial. That’s why I have to help him out of his shell!” I thought back then.

First, I decided to stay quiet for a week, pretending we really did break up. It was the first time I didn’t talk with him in ages, so I had to stop myself from sending him a text. I felt lonely many times, and it hurt far beyond what I’d imagined. “But Yuu must be feeling the same way!” This mantra helped me bear the seven days.

After what felt like seven years, I made up my mind and walked up to him in the classroom.

“Good morning, Yuu. I broke up with my boyfriend two days ago, so you don’t have to hold yourself back from speaking to me anymore.”

“…I see. Don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything.”

I knew it, after all, he rarely opened up his heart. He reacted as a machine would, as though he was part of some greater consciousness. But I won’t just sit back and watch! Once again, I came up with a plan.

The next morning, I called out to him as he sleepily scrolled through his phone in class.

“Good morning, Yuu.”

“Morning, Asakawa.”

For the first time in my life, the way he called me—so distantly—made something strange well up inside. As if ambushed, my heart tightened and I forgot how to breathe. However, just because I’d taken damage didn’t mean I could stand still. I carried on with my mission, as planned.

“Are you reading a book by yourself today again? That’s why you’re not popular.”

He scrunched his face ever-so-slightly, and he bit his lip. The next second, however, he was back to his usual calmness, and he replied with a frail smile.

“…I know, right? I’ll be careful.”

“…”

Wordlessly, I walked back to my seat, plopped my bag down on the ground, and just limped down. I couldn’t contain my frustration. Wasn’t it normal to get angry if someone berated you? How could he just accept it with such an expression?!

No, that’s not how he truly feels.

From that day onward, I cursed him every single time I saw him. I thought that if I kept doing that, one day he might reach the end of his patience and I’d be able to see what lies beneath his ever-present smile.

Under a blazing sun, beneath pouring rain, year after year, I kept trying to rip apart his mask… And after numerous days, it finally happened.

It was just after our summer vacation. As soon as I stepped into the classroom, I heard a buzz. It was as if a new student just appeared one day—that loud. Looking around, I immediately found the cause of such disturbance.

His hair, usually long and murky to hide from others, was cut off. The previous gloominess he emanated was nowhere to be seen, and if you’d just met him, you’d think he’s always been this outgoing.

No wonder our classmates had their jaws on the floor. It was as if he was a different guy altogether. It must’ve taken a gargantuan amount of effort to change so much in so little time. Despite it all, he was still Yuu, nothing had truly changed. Not his habit of turning his head slightly to one side, nor him occasionally fluffing that one strand of hair that always bothered him.

To me, he’s the same as he’s always been, so unlike others, I didn’t hesitate in talking to him, not even for a second.

“Hey, is that you, Yuu?”

He realized it was me and turned around. The gaze he shot through me was colder than ever before, and I felt my heart beat faster, wondering if it might be the real him.

“Asakawa, what do you want?”

“Is that your ‘summer vacation debut’ or something? That’s so funny! The fact you look different doesn’t mean anything.”

His calm reply wasn’t as meek or as gentle as before, so he may have really changed. In order to confirm whether or not it truly happened, I slashed him with my usual verbal abuse, no bars held.

“Yeah, I look different, but can you not assume that’s all there is to it? At least I’m heaps better than you now, who’s finished on the inside.”

“Huh…? Yuu…?”

That was the counterattack I’d been waiting for. It happened so out of left field, I probably looked like a goldfish with my mouth agape. I forgot how to even move, waiting for his next words.

“I mean, why do you even bother to talk to me? We’re not friends anymore.”

“Y–you’re wrong! That’s not true!”

Words I knew he’d never say poured out his mouth too fast for me to think. I tried to bat it back but was too excited to process anything.

“What’s the difference? You cheated, stabbing me in the back.”

“T–that’s… I just wanted you to—”

“Stop. Don’t talk to me anymore. A complete stranger, that’s all you are to me now.”

Unbothered, these words dripping with hatred kept being spat at me without stop. I didn’t even know what I looked like, being mushed in between the pain these hurtful words caused and happiness from finally having my wish come true. Following these words, which could be interpreted as really cutting off from someone, my classmates started to whisper to each other.

“G–guys… That’s not…”

Yeah, that’s not true. The bond Yuu and I share won’t be broken by this little, so don’t get me wrong. This is just your normal, temporary fight.

At this point, I finally realized molten tears streamed down my cheeks. I wouldn’t be able to hold a real conversation with him since we wouldn’t be able to sort out our feelings. It’s hard to leave, but I need to walk off somewhere and calm down.

I took one last look at the man I loved and ran out of the classroom.

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T/N: She’s crazy.

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