Chapter 17: Apology.

Translated and Edited by: ynlucca.

Common Honorifics:
-san: A polite suffix, but not excessively formal.
-kun: A common suffix among friends and younger people.
-chan: A common suffix among people you’re close with, mostly used for feminine nicknames and girls, since it’s cutesy and childlike.
-senpai: A common suffix and noun used to address or refer to one’s older or more senior colleagues in a school, workplace, dojo, or sports club.

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After Akagami’s brief introduction, the dead-eyed government officials all fell to their knees and began bowing their heads to the ground and raising their arms.

What the hell is this? I asked myself while Tama squealed in delight.

“Oh?! Did my charisma leak? Sowrry! I know you have no choice but to bow down to the great me! Haha!” Giggling and puffing, she boasted.

Hmm, sorry to say this, but it looks less like worshipping and more like begging to me. I know because I used to do it too… And I could feel great desperation coming from them. Like they were begging for forgiveness.

“Look, you’re troubling Mikuni-saaaaaan. What are you going to do if he gets even moooooore distressed? Your prostration has no worth.”

So they were prostrating after all… Wait, are they doing it for me?

“Haha! Shame, shaaaame! Shame on you, Tama-san! You look like an idiot, hahaha!” Shu cackled in the background.

“…”

“No one can see you after all girl! Pffft, look at you, so self-conscious, haha!”

“Shut up… It was a little misunderstanding…”

“Ha! ‘Did my charisma leak? Sowrry!’ Hahaha!”

“S… shut up…”

“Ahahahahahahaha!”

“D, don’t make fun of me… Hic… It was just a little mistake… I just got it a bit wrong…”

Stop making Tama cry and look at the situation right here! Nothing else is more important right now! I mean, why are they even kneeling on the ground at this point? I’ve done it many times before, but I was never on the receiving end.

“Um… Please, get up…”

“I. Told. You! Stop getting down on your kneeeeees! It’s pitiful and uncomfortableeeee!”

I didn’t know why Akagami was so confrontational since she walked into the room. Did they do something against her? Regardless, I asked them to stop and the officials stood up, still pale as a ghost.

“I’m sorry, this is just too abrupt… I still don’t understand the situation, so could you please fill me in?”

In response to my question, a young woman stepped forward. She didn’t answer, but instead held out a white confectionery package while trembling… And I knew what that sweet was.

Amori Lovelin Confectionery’s assorted spring sweets, valued at 28,500 yen. (T/N: 200 USD). It contained a Mizyokan and other types of jellies with an abundance of fruits harvested in the spring. While enhancing the quality of their sweets, the confectionery also puts the product through rigorous quality control, making this product popular as a gift for very special occasions. These were the most expensive of the bunch, too.

And I used to work at that confectionery…

“I, I’m sorry… I’m very sorry for all… the trouble we’ve caused you… hic…” She apologized as her hands quivered atop the package.

Did she mistake me for someone else? We’ve never met before. “I don’t know what this is about…”

“We’re extremely sorry!” The rest of the officials bowed until their heads were at waist level.

Can’t you at least tell me why…?

“Let’s calm down a bit and talk about it… I’ll make you some tea, so please sit down.”

A breath of fresh air will help the girls calm down. I need to start brewing the tea as soon as possible, so with that in mind, I set out. Times like these make me glad I did a lot of housework. It would be embarrassing to mess things up now.

However, when I turned around after setting the tea for the number of people around me, the girls were on their knees again.

Hey, stand up! Why are you back on your knees?!

“I, I’m sorry! I can’t believe I let a man serve me… Oh, how could I have done that?!”

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! …It’s all over now…”

They all had tears streaming down their faces, almost as if it was the end of the world. Ugh, I can’t get through to them. These people won’t listen.

“Let’s just calm down for a minute… Please, stand up.”

I touched the shoulder of the one who handed me the pastry, urging her to stand up. Perhaps startled by my touch, however, she looked at me with swollen eyes. She had a neatly groomed appearance, and her hair was parted and well-done, reminiscent of an able businessman. I got the impression she was a serious person who didn’t like joking around.

Then, she opened her mouth.

“Ehehe… You’re so beautiful… Can I suckle your eyelashes?”

Unlike my impression, she said something nifty with a smile so creepy it sent goosebumps down my spine.

I take back what I said earlier, she was the joke.

“HEEEEY! DEKIRIIII! Don’t forget you’re here to apologiiize!” Akagami’s urging brought her back to reality.

“I, I’m sorry! Wuh, wah, what have I done?”

“Oi! Get your head out of your own a*s, idiot!”

Akagami then smacked her on the top of her head with great force. Even though I was the one who made her get up, the woman called Dekiri went back down on her knees.

“Dekiri…! Are you a psycho?! …I’ll kill you…”

“You should take all the blame and end yourself!”

“‘Wuh, wah, what’ my a*s! Don’t stutter!”

“S, s, s, sorry! I, I’m s, so sorry!”

These harsh words were thrown at her, adding to the blow. They were so disgusting, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the woman.

“Waaaaaaah! Tsune-chan! The cutting board is annoying me agaaaaain!”

“H, hey, Tama-san! It’s against the rules to go crying up to him!”

“You have sh*t personality and a cutting board for breasts! Hic, you’re missing kindness, you’re missing your chest, and… Waaaaaaaaaah!”

“Could you stop spitting whatever in the midst of confusion?! I’ll kill you, you know?!”

Front, back, left, right, they were all fighting like children.

It made me dizzy.

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The section chief and Mr. Marui then returned and calmed the government officials down. In the process, the section chief explained to me why they were apologizing so much. If we left it up to the government people, I don’t think we’d ever get to hear why.

“First of all, these people here work at the government. From left to right, they are the head of the policy department, its director, the mayor, and the prefectural governor.”

When they walked in, they were a mess of pallid and downcast people. Still are, but my point still stands. What surprises me is the fact they were all way more important than I thought.

The governor getting down on her knees isn’t good… This might turn out to be a scandal if she keeps this up…

Incidentally, the Storks official wasn’t present at the moment. They were asked to move to another room until the officials apologized to me. The section chief was being considerate due to the contents of what she was about to explain.

So, what have these people done?

“Since I’ve heard you weren’t a part of Storks, Mikuni-san, I made inquiries to the relevant authorities. As a result, I confirmed that you are indeed not a member of the organization.”

That’s right. I just found out it existed.

“However, the Storks have even relayed to me that your personal information doesn’t even exist in the first place.”

“My personal information?”

Seeing my head tilt, the chief continued with her explanation. “As you’re not a member of Storks, you might not be aware of this, but the organization works closely with government offices to share personal information to ensure the smooth processing of the benefits owed to the participating men. This is to ensure everything passes through without fail.”

So basically, Storks is almost a part of the government at this point.

“Thus, the absence of data means no double-checking took place… And worst of all, it was confirmed you never received any benefits, compensations, or anything of that sort.”

Her tone lowered at the end, to which the government officials only shrunk more. Then, she narrowed her slitted eyes and spoke to the tiny officials.

“The Storks manage men’s personal information based on their birth certificates and resident registers, so as long as they have these two things, there’s no way to not have the information. Thus, we went to the city hall to inquire about your resident registration, and we discovered something unbelievable.”

The chief’s face got progressively worse and her stare could almost kill their target.

“The people there falsified your resident register and birth certificate, thus changing your gender to a woman… This is unprecedented and absurd to all degrees.”

“What are you implying?”

They falsified my birth certificate and registers? What does this mean? Marui was the one to answer my question.

“So you’re registered as a woman to the government…”

“Whaa… Whaaa?”

Suddenly, I had become a woman. It was shocking to say the least. But the biggest question floating around in my mind was, “Why?”

“I don’t know what their motive was, but at least they don’t seem to have been paid any benefits or compensation due to it. However, it’s still a violation of men’s rights, as well as a felony. They should just drop dead.”

It was frustrating to hear these things out of the blue. There must be some mistake, surely.

“Is it true my family register says I’m a woman? I still can’t believe it…”

“It’s the truth. As proof, the ID card you gave me earlier also stated you were a woman.”

What? Seriously?

Still in disbelief, I hurriedly took out a card from my wallet. Checking its contents, I saw the gender field was indeed set to ‘Female’.

It’s… true…

How did I never notice it?

“You’re really a woman legally, huh…”

“Tsune-chan… Pay attention, will you?”

The two goddesses peeked at the card and pulled back. Hey, stop looking at me like that! I couldn’t help it, okay?! I don’t usually pay attention to things like this! However, I couldn’t just argue with this invisible duo, so I protested with my eyes.

They still didn’t change their pity-ridden glares.

Sh*t! I need to hide this thing…

Seeing me red-faced and embarrassed, Dekiri, who sat on the far left, bowed her head deeply.

“I, I’m sorry to make you feel uncomfortable! You are right to be angry! We’re working to correct your gender now, and we’ll take care of it soon! My apologies!” She even went as far as to rub her head against the desk, and her voice cracked as if she was about to cry.

N, no, I was just embarrassed. Not angry.

Still, I didn’t want to keep being a girl legally. I mean, it didn’t particularly bother me, but still…

“Erm… You’re going to fix it, right?”

I want to be completely sure.

“Y, yes! We’re working on it right now!”

That’s good, that’s good. No need to apologize then.

“In regards to your benefits, we are planning the procedure so that we can pay the late amount in full! It’ll arrive soon!”

“I’m sorry, but… what are these benefits?”

They said benefits left and right, but I still didn’t know what they were, exactly.

“T, the benefits are subsidies paid by the government so that men can grow up happy and healthy. Every month, a sum of 200,000 yen is given out.” (T/N: 1,500 USD)

“200,000 yen?!”

That’s more than my old salary…

“We’ll give you the 36,000,000 yen that have not been paid to you up to now.” (T/N: 264,000 USD).

“Huh? What now?!”

“W, we’ll give you the 36,000,000 yen in the coming days!”

My head froze for a moment.

Thirty-six million.

Isn’t that pretty bad? It’s not an amount of money one could just hand over to another like that, right? Was there someone behind this after all? With that in mind, I turned to Shu anxiously.

“There’s nothing going on behind the scenes with this. Also, there is no two-faced lies or calculation going on, just pure unadulterated guilt.”

She guessed me thoughts and gave me a concise answer. Coming from her, I had no reason to doubt it.

“They did things worthy of a lawsuit. You could even pursue it in court, fire them, and make some extra change.”

“Don’t just fire them. Throw each and every last one of these women to the pigs.”

Both of the goddesses were angry and spit out venom. The way they looked at the officials was the same as the chief.

However, despite being told I had my certificate falsified, I never once felt I was in any particular trouble, and I wouldn’t have noticed it if they hadn’t told me. Instead, they came here and went out of their way to pay reparations.

I had never heard of any of these things before, so I can only be grateful that I can now manage my living expenses, which were the biggest hurdle I had to cross. I mean, I can take my time now to find a good job, you know? It’s amazing.

As I was thinking this, Dekiri suddenly said something outrageous.

“All staff involved in the tampering will be reprimanded and dismissed from their positions! So please, please don’t file a report!!!”

“Huh?”

Wait a second, what are you on about?

“I, I’ll even pay alimony! How much do you want? I’ll get you your asking price! I can even sell all my personal property and borrow what my credit score can handle, so please, please forgive us!”

She kept on with her insanity, and before I knew it, everyone was back down on the ground.

“U, um, I’m not angry, so please stop prostrating…”

“So, you’re saying you’re willing to agree to a fee!?”

Dekiri lifted her head, and she had sunken tired eyes. She looked noticeably older than when I first met her.

“E, erm, I don’t want any alimony…”

“So you don’t want a fee? Does that mean you want to file a report against us?! Hic…”

“I won’t! I won’t, so for God’s sake, stop getting down on your knees!” Fed up with all this drama, I called out a little harder. Despite telling her I wasn’t angry, she didn’t believe me.

“W, what do you want then? Our fingers?!”

I don’t want that! What would I even do with a bunch of dismembered fingers?! I screamed in my mind while taking a deep breath and smiling as gently as I could.

“Don’t worry, I’m really not mad at you all. In fact, I’m happy to know I’m getting the benefits regardless! So thank you!”

Being this clear, I’m sure she’ll understand I’m not angry. The only thing I don’t want in my life anymore is grudges. If a curse is put on me again, I don’t know what I’ll do.

Still not believing my words, the officials asked question after question.

“Uuuuu… Are you happy we’re going to jail?”

“No.”

“O, oh, by not being angry, you mean we’re already doomed so there’s no need to be?!”

“No…”

“I’m sure that smile on your face means you can’t help but laugh at the thought of the retaliation we’re about to face!”

“No, of course not! What are you even on about?! I won’t do anything, rest assured!”

No matter what I said, they took it the worst way humanly possible. In this case, how could I get them to believe me? Do you want me to write a letter or something?!

“U, umm… Mikuni-san, are you really not mad at uuus? Seeing me still at a loss, Akagami spoke up. She looked at me as if seeing something unbelievable.

“Look, I’m not angry… I just don’t know how to process this…”

I wonder why, but the last time I felt this way was when I tried to explain to the two goddesses that women hated me. Is it that hard to believe me?

“I can’t believe it…” Every single soul in this room apart from me was tuckered out.

Why not…?

“Tsune-kun, are you sure you can forgive them? Normal men would be more enraged in your position…”

I wonder what’s it like to be normal…

However, I only shook my head in answer so as to not look weird in front of other people. They couldn’t see her after all.

Seeing me act like that, Shu gazed with gentle eyes and said, “You’re a really good person…”

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T/N: Interesting development. We can still see glimpses of his trauma, but despite it all, he still became a good person. I guess there really can be treasure that comes out of the filthiest rubble, the latter, in this case, being his awful upbringing.

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