Chapter 14: Kanae.

Translated and Edited by: ynlucca.

Common Honorifics:
-san: A polite suffix, but not excessively formal.
-kun: A common suffix among friends and younger people.
-chan: A common suffix among people you’re close with, mostly used for feminine nicknames and girls, since it’s cutesy and childlike.
-senpai: A common suffix and noun used to address or refer to one’s older or more senior colleagues in a school, workplace, dojo, or sports club.

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T/N: Kanae is the older sister, most likely.

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It was 7 AM, and I woke up feeling uncomfortable. Since it was a Saturday, my university was closed.

Normally, I would just go back to sleep, but for some reason, I couldn’t on this particular morning. I felt… a vague sense of frustration, for whatever reason. Patting my chest, I tried to calm myself down. It didn’t help and my anxiety only grew as the seconds passed.

I tried to figure out the reason for my instability, but I couldn’t think straight after waking up just a few moments ago.

No good… Let’s try remembering things one by one.

Yesterday morning comes to mind. I had said goodbye to my sister, Tamae, and to my mother before heading to uni so I could attend a lecture. I don’t recall feeling this ineffable frustration at that time.

Then, I remembered eating lunch with a friend, though as we were about to go shopping, a man approached me. He asked me out or something, but I was approached like that way too much. In fact, he was the fifth that day.

People often envied me, saying it was just inconceivable to be approached by a man in this world where the ratio of men and women is skewed heavily to one side. To be honest, though, I was never happy about it. That’s because I never had a good impression of men.

In this marriage-over-all society, the position of unmarried women was extremely low in the eyes of others. Important events in one’s life such as finding a good job or moving up the socioeconomic ladder were largely determined by whether one was married or not.

Single people rarely held the same positions as married ones, as marriage itself was an indicator of ability.

It’s ridiculous.

That’s why men became haughty. Even that one guy who approached me asked me something along the lines of, “Would you be my eighth mistress?” And I mean, what kind of pick-up line is that? Was he making fun of me?

I felt dizzy and mad. He didn’t even say “eighth wife,” but used the term mistress. Even if I were to go out with him as he asked, I saw my future with him would never yield me happiness. He’d use me and throw me away after.

Being that kind of woman is something I abhor.

Though, at the time, I managed to get out of the situation without hurting his pride. I thought to myself then, “That went well! Fine play by me!”, though that exchange still froze me to the bone.

You never know what a man might do to you if you catch his eye and you end up refusing him. Even if I asked for help in that situation, the world would not provide or forgive.

In this aspect, my sister, Tamae, is doing a great job. It had never occurred to me that she would dare dress in an unpopular way with men. It was quite effective, too, so I might have to adopt her strategies.

After that whole shebang, I lost the will to shop and went home early. I think it was only a bit after four o’clock. It was quite unusual for me to be home so early on a Friday.

My mom also happened to be there early, so I talked to her about that exchange with the man. We grumbled a bit and I felt a little better. At that time, the front door opened and I saw… a bunch of flyers…

I was then hit by a severe headache, almost like someone had struck me with a sledgehammer. My hands started quivering, and my teeth chattered erratically. Then I felt my chest tighten, gripped by something ineffable.

Trying to remember what happened from there, I was struck by a forceful myriad of feelings.

I… don’t understand.

Why am I getting dizzy just by remembering that?

W, what is happening…

Attempting to get my head straight, I was instead engulfed by tremendous fear. I was scared to remember whatever happened after that, however, I had the feeling that if I didn’t, I would regret it for the rest of my life.

O, okay, take a moment a calm down… Slowly, slowly, remember…

As I was taking deep breaths to calm down, I heard my mother scream from downstairs.

“AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!”

It was less of a scream and more of a roar. I could feel the very ceiling of our house shudder in response to her cry. Normally, she was a calm and gentle person; someone lady-like who seldom yelled. No matter what happened in the past, I had never even imagined her screaming like this. I panicked.

Forgetting my own hazy frustrations, I rushed downstairs. Fortunately, I found her quickly, but… there was definitely something wrong.

She held her head in her hands, kneeling down on the ground while sobbing incessantly. Her eyes were wide open, almost as if she’d discovered a ghost. My calm and gentle mother was nowhere to be found.

I hugged her shaky frame and rubbed her back.

“Are you okay? Mom, stay with me! What happened?!”

However, she ignored my words, crying and muttering a single word.

“Aaah… Yoshitsune…!”

…Huh?

Yoshi… tsune?

Yoshitsune…?

Yoshitsune…

Yoshi.

My brother…

Yes, my precious little brother…

Kind, good at housework, good-looking, and always wearing a smile on his face. My sweet Yoshi… My brother, the most important person in this world, and whom I love most. My favorite brother.

As soon as I thought that, memories came flooding my mind.

W, wait… What the hell have I been doing?

One after another, these images kept invading my brain.

Wait… wait a second! H, have I been doing this… all this time?

These emotions were like mud, swirling down the drain. One after one, as I witnessed these horrid images playing back in my mind, they all kept spinning, spinning, and spinning around.

“Ah… Ah…” Forgetting to even support my own mother, I stood up in a daze and backed away.

None of the memories I just recalled were pleasant.

They were all about me, an ugly, violent, unreasonable, and horribly violent person, and my brother’s empty, sad, and helpless smiles. One day I even escalated a situation to the point of inflicting a serious injury upon him.

I couldn’t possibly hope to forget the image of him, lying on the floor with blood staining the ground where he lay. It was a sight not fit for human eyes… I hit him with murderous intent every time I saw him in my field of view… I saw him as an insect.

After that, countless other disgusting instances came back to me.

“G… Guhhhh….” I vomited everything in my stomach.

Unable to keep standing, I sat down on my own filth and pieces of food. I couldn’t stop the onslaught of nausea… And I couldn’t stop crying. Breathing was so hard, I couldn’t even scream or moan in pain like my mom.

I couldn’t believe what these two hands had done, and I was going crazy.

Until yesterday, I certainly hated him. —No, I didn’t just hate him. I wanted to actually kill him. Just looking at my own brother was enough to make me feel all of that.

W, why? Why was I being so unreasonably violent? Because now I don’t feel a shred of what I used to. In fact, there was only love for my brother left in my heart.

It’s as if I were in a nightmare. Oh, how much better it would be if it had actually been one.

I…

I have to start over. I need to apologize immediately, and if he doesn’t forgive me, I need to do it again. These absurd things I’ve done are unacceptable! I don’t agree with any of them!

There has been a mistake! I swear it was a mistake!

I won’t let whatever this is destroy the bond between me and my brother! From now on, I’ll make him happy!

…I have to make him happy!

I’ll be the one to do that!!!! I will!!!

Rousing my quivering body, I went to my brother’s room on the second floor. He should still be there at this hour. However, as I was about to open the door, I remembered everything that happened yesterday.

…I… Yoshi… Yesterday…

I kicked him out of the house.

“U, urgh!!!” Having remembered all there was to remember, I vomited everything out of my stomach.

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Perhaps hearing the commotion my mother and I were making, my younger sister, Tamae, also came downstairs.

Her reaction was the same as mine: startled by the situation, she crowded around to see what had happened and panicked as soon as she realized what happened to Yoshi. Unlike me, however, she only cried and did not throw up.

My mother and I were beginning to regain some composure due to remembering everything before my sister did.

Thinking about it calmly, it was still strange.

How could someone want to kill their beloved brother for no reason? It’s not normal!

There must be an explanation for all of this.

“Let’s just… find out where he went first…” My mom said so with a waning voice while comforting Tamae.

My nausea and confusion might’ve been gone, but it was still painful. So much so I could barely talk.

“Let’s file a… missing person’s report… It’s not safe for Yoshi to be… walking around alone… We have to find him right away…”

Before anything else, I was worried about him. It just wasn’t a good idea for a man of his stature to walk these streets alone… I know I was the one who kicked him out, but if we don’t protect him as soon as possible, he might be attacked by a random woman.

“…Even if they find him, do you think he’ll come back to us…? He’s an adult… and if he talks to them about… the situation he’s in… he might get protection…” Mom replied to my suggestion, breathless and panting.

She’s right… but if we don’t turn to the police, we’ll have to search on our own. That’ll be a dead end, won’t it? For example, if Yoshi just leaves this town, we wouldn’t be able to follow his footprints.

Without a clue, we just couldn’t do it ourselves. Moreover, if something ends up happening to him due to us taking long, it’ll be too late.

“A, anyway… Yoshi’s safety is priority number one… So I think we should file a report… Worst case scenario, he… he’ll be protected by the police… He’ll be in a safer place…”

“That’s true… We may not be able to see him for a while but… that’s our priority…”

While enduring immense stomach pains, I managed to decide on what we had to do. However, my younger sister wasn’t satisfied with this outcome. She started to scream loudly instead.

“N, no! Then I won’t be able to see him! I won’t be able to see my big bro! I don’t want thaaaaat!” She shook her blonde hair from side to side, shedding streams of tears.

She may be flashily dressed, but inside she was just another 18-year-old girl. Moreover, she was naturally a shy and pampered girl. Due to that, she couldn’t keep a reign on her emotions.

…And we were shallow, too.

We went too far in our conversation while her feelings still hadn’t calmed down from her epiphany. Mom and I then rushed to calm her down.

“C, calm down… First, we need to know his whereabouts.”

“We can’t apologize if we don’t find Yoshi! …P, please, understand!”

At our words, she raised her eyebrows, clenched her teeth, and muttered with a quaky voice.

“It… It doesn’t matter… No one will see… again…”

With her head in her hands, she sobbed in a pain-ridden voice.

“N, no… N, NOOOOO! Big bro! Big bro! …Big bro…”

She cried and cried, wobbling to the kitchen. My heart choked at her words, but… she was right. It’s more than likely we won’t see him again, and if the police are involved, we surely wouldn’t be able to.

If this gets looked on as a crime, it’ll be increasingly difficult to reunite. Ideally, we’d have to be the ones to find him, but it would be impossible for amateurs to find a single man in this vast country.

With that in mind, we may never meet again.

I won’t meet him again…

That fact was powerful enough to make me and my mom get in a daze. I was petrified at the thought of what was to come.

However, due to that, I didn’t follow Tamae right away.

I had no idea what she was about to do.

…I didn’t realize she had grabbed a knife and slit her wrists in the kitchen.

“TAMAE!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! TAMAE!!!” My mom screamed while crying, and I called an ambulance.

It was a mess.

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T/N: And so, it begins.

After thinking a about it a bit, I realized that while they have made the protagonist suffer, it wasn’t their direct fault for doing so. The curse was the thing that made them act the way they did so the one to blame was the one who cursed them.

You could say the protagonist has suffered through the curse, and now it’s them suffering due to it. Both parties were affected by the curse in more ways than one… The sad part is that the protagonist has already been traumatized, so despite his semi-positivism, he is still somewhat broken, shown by his meek, subdued way of acting. This is further shown by his “self-sacrificing”, which is a possible sign of lack of self esteem. He may have weighed himself on a scale and decided his life wasn’t worth more than others’.

Still, it was satisfactory to finally see things turn around, but I hope they can find closure to their issues.

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