Chapter 12: Exorcism.

Translated and Edited by: ynlucca.

Common Honorifics:
-san: A polite suffix, but not excessively formal.
-kun: A common suffix among friends and younger people.
-chan: A common suffix among people you’re close with, mostly used for feminine nicknames and girls, since it’s cutesy and childlike.
-senpai: A common suffix and noun used to address or refer to one’s older or more senior colleagues in a school, workplace, dojo, or sports club.

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“This… This is a cheat item, holy s**t… It’s like an infinite source of power…” Cat’s face turned pale as soon as she put my underwear in her pocket.

“I can feel a power equivalent to tens of thousands of devout believers praying… If the other gods find out, they’ll definitely fight over it,” I also gave one to the black-haired goddess. If I hadn’t, there would be a full-on catfight.

Incidentally, this was my first time doing a formal offering of any kind, yet they were still able to effortlessly touch the underwear as if they weren’t ethereal beings. It was too easy.

“All obstacles have been removed. All you have to do now is break the spell.”

“I’ve only shown you pathetic sides of myself. Time to turn it around~!” Cat said, cheered herself on, and leaped to the widest place available in the temple. Her jump was gravity-defying and a clear sign of her physical prowess.

Despite everything, she was still a goddess.

“Mister! Could you stand right in front of me?”

I did as I was told and stood in front of her, albeit further away.

“I’ll start exorcising the curse now! I’ll have to chant all the songs so it’ll take a while, but don’t move!”

“…I have no idea of what’s going to happen…” She said ‘all songs’ as if it was obvious, but she only left me confused.

However, answering my puzzlement, the black-haired goddess approached me from behind and stop a few steps away. “You’ll be fine just the way you are. Oi, Tama-san! If you don’t explain properly, he’ll stay confused!”

“Sorz! I started the spell, I can’t stop now!”

“Sheesh, Tama-san! …Ugh. Well, dear, I’ll explain it to you later, so for now just stay where you are and don’t move.”

What a lazy goddess cat was, huh? Ignoring my dismay, however, she thrust both of her hands forward and swung them around, taking a wide stance. Her movements were dynamic and… huh? Have I seen them somewhere before?

…Oh! I remember—It’s a f*****g Power Ranger’s stance. It’s their transformation pose. And it’s old, too! In fact, it was the one I used to imitate when I was only a wee little kid.

Cat’s eccentricities made the miracle she was about to perform all the more suspicious. Ignoring my uneasiness, she raised her voice to the heavens.

“I’ll show you my charisma! Seep through every organ of my body, every fiber of my being!”

That’s a lame-a*s phrase. And what do you mean by “seep through?”

After she said those unintelligible words, she began panting, clasped her hands together, then chanted something in ineffable mumbles. From then on, nothing of note happened. Still as a statue, she kept whispering the unspeakable in a low voice.

It’s as if her whole previous show was a lie. “Did you need all that posing and screaming? I’d feel more of your charisma if you’d just kept the Buddhist prayer you’re doing now from the start.”

As I was stun-locked by the sudden switch, the raven-haired goddess reprimanded me. “Dear, do you think we’re just playing with you?” Her tone was serious and allowed no room for jokes, implying she was taking cat’s antics seriously.

Well, the truth is that I have no idea what her convalescence entails in the first place. If that move had proper meaning and was necessary, it was disrespectful of me not to take it seriously.

She’s doing all of this for me, so no matter how weird it is, I can’t complain.

“I’m sorry, it was rude of me to say that since I know nothing,” I felt horrible for saying something so derogatory about it.

At my words, the black-haired goddess just shook her head with a soft expression, saying “Good grief~ Well, there’s no need to apologize since she was goofing around.”

“Hey! Don’t scare me like that, raven-hair!”

“I was surprised too!” She started screaming to make sure cat was listening. “I didn’t know she’d start doing something so stupid! As a god myself, I’m getting some pretty serious second-hand embarrassment!”

Her strong response only confused me…

“Uh, you don’t have to say that much, do you? There might actually be a reason for her doing that…”

“I can’t stand it! The sad part about it, Tama-san, is that you think it’s funny of you to just pull a Power Rangers! It hurts to watch!”

“…Black-hair? Can’t you just forgive her? Look, she’s starting to wince.”

“Dear was troubled because you were so unresponsive! Look, when you started to recite the prayer after all that stuff, it was pitiful! Shameful! It was actually suuuuper heartbreaking to watch!”

“Mumble mumble… Hic… Mumble mumble mumble… Uuuu~”*

“Oi, she started crying again! Don’t be so harsh, black-hair! She’s a bit frailer than she lets on, so be a bit more careful please?”

I started to feel sorry for cat, so I tried to console her.

“Cat! That transformation pose just now was cool! It was actually cute with how unexpected it was! Hats off to your sense of humor!”

“Mumble mumble… Ehehe… Mumble mumble mumble… Ehehehehe~”

Her chanting now had cute laughter, and her mood seemed to have improved. Instead of calming down, black-hair started to bite her thumb and glare at cat with resentful eyes.

It’s you this time?

After the shenanigans, about ten minutes had passed since cat started to cast the spell. There was nothing to do while it happened, so I was running out of things to distract myself with.

However, as soon as I started to ask myself how long it would take, cat raised her voice to the heavens once more, “Well then! Take my hand!” and reached them out to me after unclasping them from the prayer hold. “C’mon mister, you too! Imitate me!”

Making another pose, she urged me on. I really didn’t get why she was doing those dramatic things, but why the hell not? Without a reason not to do it, I took the same stance as hers.

“Yooo~!” With her shout, three claps echoed throughout the precincts of the temple.

Wait, three?

Turning around, I saw black-hair also joining in the ritual. Honestly, I thought this was just another of cat’s eccentricities, so I was surprised to see her also clasp her hands together with us.

“It is done. Good work, Tama-san.”

“Whew~ I’m beat~”

Black-hair said a few words of encouragement while Tama sweated off her efforts. Meanwhile, I was left confused.

“Huh? Is that it? Is it over already?”

Unlike me, who was still flabbergasted with his hands clasped together, the two had accomplished looks on their faces.

“I thought this while watching from the sidelines, but didn’t you use an unfathomable amount of power, Tama-san?”

“I did~ I noticed it as I was lifting the curse, but this is no curse after all. No way José did a human being do this.”

“During convalescence, I had some free time to gaze, and I found something quite peculiar.”

“Eh? What is it, what is it?”

As I watched them talk about their musings, I asked myself if the curse was really dispelled. I mean, I didn’t feel any different from before, and I hadn’t noticed any sort of physical discomfort either. No visible changes as well.

…I’m a bit disappointed, really. I thought it would be a bit more like, “Wah!”

For the time being, I unclasped my hands to thank the two for their help, but suddenly—

An explosion.

To be precise, the sounds of glass breaking into millions of shards rattled all over my body, echoing throughout the precincts of the temple. The roar was so loud my eyes closed out of instinct, and I got unbelievably dizzy.

As the reverberations boomed the ward, a gut-wrenching sense of discomfort permeated my body, and I felt things as a newborn would.

The first thing I grasped was the sense of touch, so sensitive it was like air grazed my skin for the first time. I had never felt so much freedom before, almost as if I had left a lifelong cocoon.

Next, opening my eyes I felt my sight better than it had ever been as if a lifelong disease had suddenly been cured. The landscape appeared much clearer in my eyes, and every color appeared livelier than it was before. Green has never looked so gorgeous…

Then, the intense scent of the trees, so unblemished and natural, permeated my body through my nostrils. It was as if I had never smelled anything ever since the day I was birthed, and I couldn’t help but be filled to the brim with emotion.

“So? Do you feel refreshed now that the curse is lifted?”

A clear, penetrating, and soul-stirring voice graced my ears. I know I had been listening to such a muse before, but now it truly echoed the crevices of my heart. Listening to her after healing makes me feel as though I had been wearing earplugs since the day I was born.

“You’re very confused now, aren’t you? Take your time, there’s no need to rush.”

Another voice, pleasant and serene, hugged my ears from another direction. It warmed my heart so much, no words could describe the sudden comfort my body was experiencing.

Thus, I understood I was in a very unusual environment. My five senses were completely different than they were before, and I just couldn’t believe how much it had all changed.

“I… I was really cursed, wasn’t I?” I had to squeeze these words so they’d part my lips.

The two goddesses then looked at me, smiling warmly at the sight.

“There are many things we need to tell you, things we need to talk about, but first, could you tell us your name, dear?”

The raven-haired goddess spoke to me so. She was slender and ethereal, possessing commanding stern eyes, and looked as if she was part of a horror film. Despite that, she was a beauty—A scary beauty, stunning nevertheless, and the peak of the word ‘graceful’.

“Name… Come to think of it, why didn’t you ask us for our names…?”

The silver-haired goddess pursed a finger to her lips. Petite and cute, she was the personification of a kitten, graceful yet so playfully stunning it hurts to even look at. Moreover, her bombshell of a body made it difficult to look even remotely near her—A cute beauty, the pinnacle of man’s ideals.

“He’ll explain later. More importantly, you should be able to speak now. Please, tell us your name.”

“Can you talk? I swear I could hear you say something just now, what was it?”

“Not now! Please don’t interrupt the conversation, Tama-san!”

“Tch.”

I… haven’t said my name?

In hindsight, I haven’t…

Why didn’t I question even this simple thing before?

My head is all over the place and I have so many questions, but I don’t think I’ll be able to keep myself together if I dwindle. I knew from my woozy self that I had to stammer an answer right away.

“My… My name is… Yoshitsune Mikuni… Sorry for not introducing myself earlier…”

Hearing my words, the two goddesses happily smiled.

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