“Well, I’ll tell you the rest of the story”
About three weeks after the bullying occurred in my class, I was told that my parents needed to talk to me after dinner. Apparently, Sumika had told them about the bullying.
My mother, who had apparently heard the story from Sumika, told my father about me being bullied in class and how it happened. It was the same thing that had been said in class, and it was obviously something that would make me look bad. My mother didn’t like to be interrupted, so I listened in silence. The conversation ended. My father opened his mouth.
“Did you apologize to the boy?”
I didn’t understand what he meant. I thought he’d ask me whether the story was true or not, first.
(Did he think I was admitting to it because I listened quietly?)
“No, I did not apologize, but that’s–“
“If you did something wrong, you have to apologize!”
Normally, when I interrupted him in such a situation, he would be angry and say, “I’m still talking!” But now it was my turn to say something, but he wouldn’t let me speak. I didn’t expect him to believe the rumor that much. I think he didn’t even consider the possibility that I hadn’t done anything, and that I was innocent.
I hadn’t expected my parents to react like this, and I stood up, slammed my fist at the desk as hard as I could. Normally I don’t have many emotional outbursts, but I couldn’t control them this time. But the sound I made when I slammed the desk made me calm down.
(They really don’t trust me, do they?)
When I thought about it, I didn’t even care about my parents. Earlier, I had tried to argue that this was not true, but I lost the energy to do so.
I went back to my room, ignoring my parents, who were stunned by my sudden outrage. I want go to go back to my room, but I couldn’t because my sister was right in front of my room. She was two years younger than me and in her first year of middle school. I don’t know if it’s because she’s going through puberty or what, but she used to be my cute little sister who followed me around and adore me.
“I also heard about it from Sumika.”
“You’re the worst, big brother.”
That was the coup de grace. Now I knew that everyone around me had no trust in me.
I went into my room and sat at my desk, opened my diary and started to think. I wrote down what just had happened, which only contained dark events and emotions these days. I thought about the events that had played, as I flipped through the pages of the past three weeks of my diary. I thought about what had gone wrong and why things had turned out the way it did, maybe I missed something.
(Why was I bullied in the first year? Because I rejected a popular girl. Then why did she confess to me? Was it because I had a handsome face? Why did the junior try to use Ryosuke to get closer to me? I’m not sure.……, Aren’t all these issues caused by me?)
I hated myself for thinking that. I had always thought that I would be classified as a kind person. I’ve always tried to be nice to people, and I’ve tried not to do anything to hurt them. But still, I guess I’m the worst kind of person.
(I’m a bum and I deserve to be looked at as if I’m trash by everyone around me. It’s my fault that I have this face. It’s my fault that I can do most things better than most people.)
So I decided to get rid of it. The next day, I started wearing a mask for the rest of my life. I purposely performed worse during P.E. class, to not attract unwanted attention.
My parents had contacted the school about the bullying, and a meeting was held to discuss and apologize. I didn’t admit that I had been assaulted. I didn’t want to admit that I had been beaten up, because I thought it would be a waste of time.
In the end, the issue of bullying was put to rest. After that, I tried to come home at night. I chose a school far away, and after I passed the entrance exam, I told my parents that I wanted to live alone. They were opposed to the idea, but after I laid out the advantages of living alone, they reluctantly agreed when I finally said that I wanted to be alone.
“So, I’m living alone now.”
“So that’s where the story brings us ……. Wait, it’s pretty fierce and I’m about to cry.”
“Well, I decided to leave the middle school past behind, so I’m living high school life now. Hiding my face and skipping P.E”
“…… But I thought you were acting strange even before the rumors started. …… You went away during lunch break.”
“Oh, that’s because the …… presence of Yuki and Miyamoto-san brought back flashbacks to my middle school days…….”
I’m really sorry about this.
“You said you didn’t like yourself, but I like Shota and I think you’re a good guy.”
Really, why does he believe in me so much when we’ve only known each other for about three weeks? To be honest, I want to be friends with him, but I don’t really trust him as much as I did with Ryosuke. But it made me happy to hear him say he does, and I wanted to trust Yuki.
“So, don’t get called to go somewhere like today and go alone, okay? If you do, I’ll go with you.”
“Yeah, thanks a lot.”
We talked about many things, and I felt refreshed. It was as if something that had been bothering me for a long time had faded away.
“Speaking of which, how did you and Miyamoto-san become friends? When she came to our class for the first time, she was giving her gratitude or something.”
“I don’t think we became friends, but the day before Miyamoto-san came for lunch, I helped her searching an item.”
“I searched for about an hour and a half and found it.”
“An hour and a half?”
“Yeah, she dropped a hairpin.”
“Ah, I see”
“I should apologize to Miyamoto-san……. I clearly avoided her.”
“Hmm, I don’t know. I think she’ll be surprised if you apologize to her. …… Well, why don’t you just eat your lunch in the classroom next time? Tomorrow is a bank holiday. It’s not like you did anything wrong. I don’t know if it’s okay for me to be there. You’ll be reminded of middle school again……”
“No, I feel better after talking to you. I think I’ll be fine.”
“That’s good, but take it easy, okay?”
I’m sure he’d be surprised to hear me apologize for avoiding him for a moment, and the only reason I’m friends with Miyamoto-san is because we were looking for something together.
“Oh, was Miyamoto-san here yesterday?”
“Oh ………. It’s a little hard to say, but I came to the class and was told by a classmate about Shota’s rumors, and I just went home.”
I see ……. I wonder if she came to my class today? Well, I don’t think she came……. Miyamoto-san is cute, and she’s probably more careful about who she’s interested in than most people, especially if she has heard the rumor.
I had already said most of what I wanted to say, so I left the family restaurant a little later.
“Shota, see you the day after tomorrow.”
“Yeah, see you later.”
A lot of things have happened, but today’s diary is going to be a cheerful one.