It was very sad. It was hard and painful. How could I have forgotten?
I vaguely remembered that this feeling that was going through my heart was sadness.
I was not sad when I was rejected or when I could not participate in the games. There was only resignation, and I was satisfied that that was the way it was.
Maybe it was because I was sad for the rest of my life on the day I took Sekka-san’s hand. The pain of separation from love. I was so sad, heartbroken, and exhausted.
The sadness of that day overshadowed everything else, and I stopped crying.
“How can you be so selfish!”
“Please, Sekka! I don’t have much time left!”
Just like that day, Mom and Sekka-san were arguing because of me.
I was filled with apology. I felt sorry for myself.
A deep sadness engulfed me. If only I hadn’t existed, if only I hadn’t been born, the two of them would never have quarreled with each other. My existence is the cause of their discord.
I am a foreigner who blesses this world and spreads misfortune. That is me, Yukito Kokonoe.
I cannot bear to be here, even though I know I’m here.
My mother is very beautiful and charming. She is a proud mother who is kind and caring to her children.
But if I observe her carefully, I think she has aged a little. It’s natural, and she is young for her age. Still, I know that the burden of me, the stress, is causing her a lot of hardship. It’s not just money. I am exploiting my mother’s time, even her youth. I am the biggest obstacle.
“I will change. I will become a mother who is not ashamed of her children and who is proud of them!”
“Why didn’t you do that earlier, to Yuki-chan――”
It wasn’t meant to be this way. It’s too lousy to be excused.
The reason why the two of them ended up fighting goes back to an hour ago now.
“It’s a trivial thing.”
“Mou! Yuki, you always say that, but I don’t care.”
I tried to give her some of the fancy chocolates I had bought, but Sekka-san got mad at me.
Sekka-san’s pet rabbit, Friedrich II, pounces onto my lap and starts munching on some moo moo food. Pre-plop. Oh, he pooped on me. By the way, the reason why he the second is because he is the second generation.
“For some reason, animals have always liked you, Yuki.”
“Such a thing…there should be…seems to be…I wonder if there is?”
I lost confidence along the way. Come to think of it, when I go to parks and such, the pigeons are usually urging me to feed them. I never have it so conveniently, though.
“I bet you were a tamer in your former life. Do you like rabbits, Yuki?”
“Rabbits? They are cute and adorable, aren’t they? My name contains “Usagi” too, so I feel like I’m related to them.”
“I see. That’s good. I’ll order a reverse bunny then!”
Sekka-san, who was satisfied with the order, fiddled with the computer. What is a reverse bunny? I look behind Friedrich II. Prrrrrrrrrr. Ah, it pooed again.
It doesn’t seem to have anything to do with Friedrich II in particular, so I search for it on my phone.
“Wait, wait! Let’s calm down and discuss!”
“Yuki, look at international politics. Talking will not solve anything.”
The relentless blow of the mail-order button causes Yukito Kokonoe to scream in agony.
“This is bad, this is bad! What are you going to do?!”
“I’m going to wear it.”
“Who’s going to wear it?”
“The beneficial bacteria in my gut are running low. Well then.”
“You think you can escape?”
There’s too much of a difference in level to escape! And if I think about it, this is the boss’s room. I can’t stop trembling and shaking, and Sekka is in a good mood. Is this the level difference between us?
The reason I came to Sekka-san’s apartment today was to ask her to come to my class visit and to talk to her about my mother, who has been acting strange lately. My sister is always acting weird, so I’ll spare her the details, but I’m worried about what’s going on with my mother.
“Thank you for inviting me, Yuki. I’ll be there with makeup on!”
“Please have mercy. I can’t let you get any more beautiful than this.”
“Mou! Yuki, you really are good at making people happy, you know that? This, this!”
Sekka-san was writhing and squirming in agony. For me, she’s the one person I can’t get my head around, and I’m always grateful for her help. I have nothing but gratitude.
“So she changed her mind, ……. Sis, what’s up with you all of a sudden?”
“Maybe she was actually a robot.”
“I don’t think that’s what changing her mind means, Yuki.”
I am also skeptical about the robot mother theory, but that doesn’t mean I can just leave it alone. That’s why I came to talk to Sekka-san about it. At first, I thought she might be worried about her being sick, but to be honest, my mother has become very charming.
“What’s changed specifically, Yuki-chan?”
When I’m asked again, I feel troubled. There isn’t a clear change. If I had to put it into words, it’s more like an atmosphere, or a sense of distance, something vague like that.
“Umm…It’s like she’s become more erotic or something.”
Sh*t! I had unknowingly said something unnecessary again.
“No, it’s not! Oh, that’s right. She said something about redoing everything being my mother!”
Somehow, the nuance of training from scratch stirred up my uneasiness.
“Does she wants to start over with you?”
“I think so……”
I’m stumped. As expected, even Sekka-san doesn’t understand. I don’t see any particular harm in my mother becoming a mom. It’s just that I’m nervous and uncomfortable. It might be heart failure.
“I have to call my sister and ask her about it.”
Sekka-san calls my mother on her phone. Even though I can’t understand it very well, Sekka-san who is smart, will be able to get to the bottom of it.
[Oh, sis. Yuki asked me to attend the class visit. –Eh, what? Why you? What are you talking about now? And Yuki said you’ve been acting strange lately—-Ha? No matter how terrible things have been until now–enough, I’m leaving now!]
She hangs up the phone angrily. Apparently, something had gone wrong with my mother. I was going to leave now, so I decided to follow along.
“Hey, Yuki. Anything going on lately?”
I used to consult with Sekka-san about all sorts of things. I couldn’t figure things out on my own, and I couldn’t do anything about it. Somehow nostalgic, we talk about recent events as we wish.
I talked about meeting people I never thought I would meet again, being falsely and genuinely confessed by someone, a highly sensitive stranger, a strange family member, being falsely accused of molestation, getting into a bicycle accident, and the list goes on and on.
Sekka-san’s eyes widened as she listened to my rambling on and on.
“Yuki, could it be that you are—“
Mom and Sekka-san are arguing intensely in front of me. A human-made disaster that I caused by easily asking Sekka-san to do something for me. Looking back, I have always torn their relationship apart.
If I hadn’t been there, the two of them would have been close sisters.
The scene I saw one day. A collision I never wanted to see again. It was because of me, because of me, caused by me, all the time, every time.
No matter how many times I bowed my head and said I was sorry, the fighting never stopped, and it just made the situation worse, as if it were pouring oil on the fire. I was left with nothing but tremendous helplessness.
“Let’s go. If you stay here, Yuki, you’ll get destroyed.”
Just like that day, Sekka-san reaches out her hand to me. I naturally tried to take her hand, but I was held back from behind.
“I won’t let you have him anymore! I love him! I need this child!”
It was a strange feeling. I had never seen my mother so desperate.
She was just so single-minded, so sincere, so honest, no matter what.
–Need. Do you really need me?
“Don’t you realize how much you’ve hurt Yuki?”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be forgiven. I don’t care if he hates me for the rest of my life. Still, I can’t bear the thought of parting without being able to tell him, because I can’t stand it like this anymore. I’ll tell him. I want him to know. How much I love him and how much I care about him.”
“What’s wrong, Mom? Eh, again? Your face is getting closer and closer…”
“H-hey, sis. What are you–?!”
The legs are flailing about, but they don’t seem to budge. Gradually, I began to run out of oxygen.
Sekka-san hurriedly tried to pull away, but she couldn’t budge the embrace.
The second time is far more intense and dense. My headache is blown away by the shock of it all.
Not good…… head is spinning. My lungs were in intense need of fresh oxygen.
“Sekka, I’m serious. More than anyone, more than you.”
It was as if she was slapping a declaration of war on her. Sekka-san was stunned for a while, but then she came to her senses.
“You’re being so shameless! …I won’t lose. To my sister, I’ll never lose.”
Sekka-san confronts her. Her eyes held a strong sparkle that was as strong as my mother’s.
The uninspiring background music made me feel drowsy and sleepy.
I couldn’t solve the “Mom’s acting weird problem” even with the help of Sekka-san, but then I came up with a hypothesis. You know what they say. Too much stress is bad. If you don’t release it, it can cause physical and mental problems.
Perhaps a similar characteristic exists in motherhood?
In other words, motherhood is currently too much and is modulating her body and mind.
I am optimistic, but I believe that the current situation is nothing more than a sale of excess motherhood, and that once it has dissipated, things will return to normal.
I hope she will soon return to her usual gentle mother who doesn’t care about me at all.
“What’s the matter? How unusual. I can’t believe Yukito being that tired.”
“I learned the appearance of defeat.”
“At first glance, it looks like you were studying hard, but it’s definitely not for the same reasons.”
As far as our family is concerned, it is maternal lust. Hojo Yasutoki also smiled wryly at this.
Even though I am used to getting into trouble, the recent disturbance was not within the scope of that. I can’t hold myself like this! I would become a captive of my mother.
So, I stayed up all night last night thinking about it and formulated the following fifty-one laws in the home.
Knock when you enter a room.
Sleep in your own room.
Take a bath alone.
Never leave your clothes behind.
Brush your teeth by yourself.
Excessive touching is strictly prohibited.
Snacks are limited to 300 yen.
Keep your bills to a reasonable amount.
I was so elated that I proposed the rule with enthusiasm, thinking that it would be a two-way vote of approval, but the proposal was immediately rejected. Give it back! Give me back my sleep!
My sister was terrible. “Why don’t we walk around in our underwear?” Hmm, okay, okay. She doesn’t understand anything.
Since the Kokonoe family is a family of three, the proposal should have passed with the consent of two members. …… If I think about it, there are no allies on my side. ……
“By the way,…… am I allowed to be here……?”
As I was shocked, Shakado suddenly appeared from behind me. As usual, her stealth is as good as ever. Is it really necessary to erase your presence?
“If anything, she is the key person in this case. If you have any problems with reptiles, don’t hesitate to ask her.”
“Hee hee… Leave it to me… But, it doesn’t seem like I’ll have a chance to do anything…”
Dragging a dreary Shakado with me, I take a seat at the table with a refreshingly handsome man.
The blue sky is beautiful. The sky is clear. The housewives and elderly people seemed to be enjoying themselves.
On the weekend, the three of us, a different kind of group, were participating in a quiz tournament in our town, just to “go and win a little”. All of our classmates knew this.
The team name that we participated under will surprise you. It’s “Cheating Class 1B”.
This is a great name for a team that is worthy of a quiz.
Unless there is a quiz king, we are sure to win.
— and while I’m saying that, we won. I get interviews and stuff.
“Right. This team name means something. Actually, our class got a good grade in the last test, but we were falsely accused of cheating, which never happened, and we were treated unfairly. The only people who believed us were our homeroom teachers, Sanjoji sensei and Fujishiro sensei. But I can’t believe that the principals would do something like that to damage the school’s reputation. Today, we participated in the quiz competition to prove that we didn’t cheat!”
“We are …… innocent, but we are sad …… to be doubted …….”
“Ah, I’m next. Well, …… principal, please stop. We didn’t cheat! We won this tournament on our own merit.”
Refreshingly handsome, you’re not a good actor. I discovered an unexpected weakness.
The interview was cut off prematurely, as if they thought the atmosphere was unpleasant.
In fact, this quiz competition is being broadcast live on a local program of a regional information channel.
This means that it is now being broadcast on TV to rave reviews.
I happened to find a notice in the local section of the newspaper inviting participation and decided to take advantage of it. It may not have a large audience and it may not spread, but that’s not the point.
Sorry to the interviewer with the twitchy smile on his face, but in this day and age, you can’t hide anything. We quickly left the venue and immediately uploaded the full interview to a video site, asking our classmates to spread the word.
“Is this going to cause a firestorm? It doesn’t seem to have much of an effect. ……”
“No need for that.”
“But isn’t that what we’re trying to do?”
All we are doing is merely setting the stage. If anything, we don’t even want the uproar to spread.
“Think about it. Who is the most angry this time? We don’t have to do anything, they’ll take care of the rest. Shakado should be able to figure it out now, right?”
“Yes. Mama…… was really angry ……”
“I see, so that’s how it is. It’s starting to make me feel sorry for them … “
“Don’t. It’s their own fault. What about you, fresh handsome man?”
“Yeah. When I told my mom about it, she was so happy, it was embarrassing.”
It may be a joy for a parent to be relied upon by a child at the difficult age of puberty.
There were also families that said, “Okay, Dad, I’m going to do my best!”
Family circumstances vary from person to person. Some of my classmates were so tense that they hardly talked to each other. If this could be an opportunity for them, it would be a win-win situation. Even though it is a beautiful thing to do, after all, it is best for families to get along well with each other.
Even if that’s the case, there may be parents who are difficult to reason with, who are harmful to their children. The fact that these kinds of parents exist is a reality. While it is not necessarily always right to get along with them, it is important to have ideals to strive for.
“Mama was …… going to be in on it from the beginning …….”
“What about you, Yukito?
“Ugh, my head ……”
Here comes the effect of lack of sleep. It’s hard to think any more. Good night.