I’m a standard shock absorber guy, and last week I had a terrible, terrible time.
Without fat, I would have died. No, seriously.
I was invited to play by a group of cheerful people, but I was run over by a cyclist and went out with a bang. I am not sure if I was lucky or unlucky, though it might have been better that I wasn’t hit by a car.
The police and my sister insisted that I file a damage report, considering the viciousness of the incident, but I settled out of court. The other party was half Japanese, and apparently was not familiar with Japanese common sense. She came with her parents to apologize, but after she cried and apologized so much, I felt like I had done something wrong. Fortunately, there were no injuries. I was just hoping that she would be more careful in the future.
After receiving some money in the form of a settlement, I decided to treat my classmates to sushi and pizza as a way of apologizing to them for turning down their invitation to join the group. I asked the school to deliver the food, but the life guidance teacher, Sanjoji, was absurdly angry with me.
However, she was also very concerned about my accident, so she is a kind-hearted teacher.
“You’re still amazing!”
I had lunch with Artemis-senpai, who is now suspected of being the earthbound spirit of the emergency staircase, because she is always there.
“What are you talking about?”
“You know, the other day, you were kicking the crap out of the other kids at club activities, right?”
I have an idea of what she was talking about, but the question that popped into my head was the first thing that came out of my mouth.
“Why is Artemis-senpai, a loner, in the gymnasium?”
“How many times do I have to tell you that I am not a loner? Hmm? Fufu. I’m a member of the badminton club, even though I look like this!”
“Are you in the bandwagon club? What’s so interesting about a life that’s just riding a winning horse?”
“It’s the badminton club! Don’t make me join some strange club without my permission!”
“The only place where yakisoba bread becomes a battleground is in the world of creative writing. I don’t really like it.”
Why do Yankees prefer yakisoba bread, the demon possessed by carbohydrates?
“Stop ignoring me! Then why did you buy yakisoba bread? Besides, I’m not lying. I’m really in the badminton club, you know?”
I laugh through my nose.
“What is that frivolous feeling? Believe me! B-e-l-i-e-v-e m-e. Even because of you, I’ve been treated like a rare character lately, like I’ll bring good luck if I’m seen, you know?”
I took out some coins from a clasp with a deformed frog on it.
“…… what are you doing?”
“I’m giving you some coins for my good fortune…”
“I don’t need it! The more you do that, the more everyone will imitate you and spread my character in the wrong direction. W-well? I’ve had more conversations in class than before, and I’ve been told that people have a different impression of me lately, and that I’m easier to talk to now that the younger students are talking to me more easily.”
“Is that why you are always here?”
“No that’s not why I’m here all the time! “
Artemis senpai was embarrassed as she tweezed her finger.
“Rare characters …… run away from …… in a blur …… favor …… benefit from being liked …… …….”
Then a flash of inspiration hit me. Apparently, it wasn’t a spirit bound to the earth.
“Stray goddess-senpai, please give me experience points.”
“I’m going to give you a blow to the heart!”
“Oh, Yukito. You’re dead, you wretched thing.”
Swollen and exhaled. Then, the stray goddess-senpai’s expression clouded over.
“I know it’s hard for you. I’m devastated that there are people around me who don’t even know you well enough to speak ill of you.”
It’s no use if I did it in such a grand manner. But that doesn’t mean any direct harm was done to them. And even if the senior students, such as the stray goddess senpai, found some of the underclassmen to be an eyesore and an unwelcome presence, they would not take the risk of getting involved.
“Their reaction is the correct one. Then, isn’t stray goddess senpai the odd one out, then?”
“Mou! I’m still on your side, you know. I’ve heard a lot of things said about you, but you don’t speak ill of people at all. I think that’s wonderful. Somehow I feel like I’m being toyed with.”
“I respect you. And from my point of view, crawling around at the bottom of the human race, I only look up at those around me with envy. It’s called being a low-ranking official.”
“If it weren’t for that laughable self-deprecation, you would be a nice and different boy. …… Oh, that’s right. By the way, are your parents coming to school next time, Yukito?”
“Why? I haven’t done anything yet.”
“Do you plan to do anything yet? I think you have done enough. ……………….it’s not that, it’s time for class visits. Haven’t you heard?”
“…… class visit?”
The disturbing word that was suddenly tossed at me by stray goddess senpai replaced by experience was forever running through my mind.
“As you may know, there will be a class visit next month. Please make sure to fill out the attendance sheet. Don’t circle your own non-participation just because you’re embarrassed.”
It was true what stray goddess senpai had said. And she had already nailed me to the wall.
“I have good news and bad news for you today.”
From the mouth of the very melancholy Fujishiro sensei, a line that would be one of the top three lines I’d like to say in real life, came out her mouth.
“The high-ups will be visiting soon, and you should be glad. This is the class that will be in charge of the first year. I wonder why? Do you know why, Yukito Kokonoe?”
“Because you’re beautiful and intelligent.”
The question was easily cleared up. Good, good.
“Well, that’s that then.”
“Don’t try to end it.”
“I mean, it’s a fact that you’re a very good-looking, intelligent woman.”
“You’ve got a first-class test for flattering me.”
“Oh, that’s very kind of you to say. By the way, what’s the good news?”
“Being selected for an inspection tour.”
“And what’s the bad news?”
“Being selected for an inspection tour.”
“This guy got me there. Well, that’s that then.”
“It’s not over! Because the last test made our class the most anticipated star of the year. Thanks to that, I’ve been very busy …… We’ve had a lot of trouble recently, but this is our chance to make a comeback. Please do me a favor.”
“But, Sensei, there’s nothing we can do.”
Elizabeth’s statement was the most plausible. When we are told that there will be an inspection, it does not mean that we need to do any preparation here; the only thing we can do is to be prepared.
“It’s an important job. Keep an eye out for anything the man might try to do.”
Everyone was nodding their heads in agreement. Elizabeth and Mineda are looking at me and nodding, and the fresh handsome guy is also nodding. Shakado is grinning and secretly looking at her pet reptile on her phone, and of course I am nodding too.
“Why do you have the most convincing look on your face ……?”
While Shiori laughed bitterly, only Hinagi seemed to be annoyed.
“How’s class visits going? Are they coming, Yukito?”
It’s recess time. A fresh handsome guy asks me in a troubled manner.
“I’m sure Mom won’t be coming because she’s busy. Is it normal for her to come in the first place?”
Looking back, my mother has only visited my class twice in the past.
I don’t remember any of them, because I was so nervous that I didn’t want to show her that I wasn’t happy to see her.
Mom’s younger sister, Sekka, came a few times as a substitute for Mom who was very busy, but in any case, as a high school student, there was little need for her to come.
“Right. I kind of understood until middle school, but it’s high school.”
Elizabeth naturally joins in the conversation. Her sunshine communicative ability is amazing.
It is a common practice for shady people to pretend to be secretly asleep while listening in on the conversation. Incidentally, I was late to bed because I was waiting for the mirror coating on my face to start talking to me.
“Do not forgive the fresh, good-looking man.”
“What’s the matter?”
“It seems like there are a lot of third-year students taking exams, but it would be embarrassing if nobody came and it was just their parents.”
“Hmmm. Eli-chi, I’ve heard that schools for advanced studies have a high participation rate.”
“Did you just call me something that you shouldn’t say?”
Mineda was looking up on her phone and Elizabeth was shaking her.
“I think my mom is coming.”
“Eh, Akane-san is coming?”
Hinagi’s comment sent a chill down my spine as she spoke to me softly. Just the other day, when Hinagi was sick, I made her angry by carrying her luggage. It was beyond awkward.
“She said she wanted to thank you.”
“At last, thank you for all you’ve done for me.”
I gulped and swallowed my spit. I know it was the best thing I could have done, but it is an undeniable fact that I have slandered and hurt Hinagi. From a parental standpoint, I must be someone she hates to the point of wanting to kill. The gulf between us has deepened even further.
“Why? Mama knows that you helped me. You saved me.”
“The more she knows, the more I must have done something that she hates me for.”
And even though Akane-san had banned me from coming to her house, I had broken my promise. There is no excuse for this. Would she forgive me if I drank a thousand needles in front of her? I have a feeling she would call an ambulance before that.
I had no intention of breaking my promise. I thought we would never see each other again, that there was no need for us to be next to each other, and that everything would be in the past.
So, this is my responsibility for having engaged with Hinagi again. It is a reprimand and a punishment that I must accept.
“It’s okay. It’s not going to be like you think. You know, as an apology, my mom gave me movie tickets. Do you want to go with me?”
“Not about shark.”
The smile that Hinagi gave me was as beautiful as the day it happened.
As the saying goes, it is time to review the Seven Wonders of School.
Now that the school has long since abolished the duty of housekeeping, no one would notice a model human body wandering around the school late at night. Rather, it is the person who witnesses it who is suspicious. Who are you?
The transition from Japanese-style to Western-style toilets is underway, but in this case there is no way to get your hand out of the toilet, and even the hardworking Kinjiro Ninomiya, now considered a walking smartphone user, might rather be considered to be encouraging dangerous behavior. There is no such thing as a ghost chasing you down the corridor at a hundred kilometers an hour. Then, how fast is the guy that ghost is chasing running away? Maybe he’s not even human. Please, go to the Olympics. The corridor is not that long. The speed setting is too much.
The Seven Wonders, which are not appropriate for the modern age, should be brushed up flexibly.
So, this is one of the seven wonders advocated by me, Yukito Kokonoe, a mystery hunter living in modern times. “The Shameless President Sitting in the Student Council Room”.
“I am glad you are relying on me.”
I realize I’ve failed. There is no stopper. Where did Mikumo-senpai go?
In case you don’t know what a high school class visit really is, just ask someone who does know, lesser cuckoo. Incidentally, it is said that the lesser cuckoo lays its eggs in the nest of the bush warbler, and the additional eggs are counted by dropping the eggs of the warbler on the ground.
The outrageous egg-laden act, this is exactly what the original cuckold is, a sleeping bird.
That aside, I came to the student council room to borrow the wisdom of an experienced third-year student, but the essential person of common sense, the healing Mikumo-senpai, was not there.
Now, there is only my natural enemy, the infamous president of the Student Council. Without Mikumo-senpai, who is the infusion of vitality, I, a weak man, am on the verge of a crisis comparable to a heroine who has been seduced by a hero.
“Yumi went to the staff room. I’m sure she’ll be back soon, but since you came all this way, I hope you can wait”
“You’ve suddenly lost your accent.”
“What were you saying?”
It is not good to go in too deep. I am welcomed with open arms, but I can’t stay in this danger zone forever! Sensing the danger to myself, I quickly did my business to get out of here as fast as I could.
“Right. ……. I think it was about 20% of the class when we were in the first grade. I guess it’s different in schools with a strong focus on education.”
“Is that how it is?”
“Yeah. The Boy must be embarrassed, after all. Parent attendance was probably higher for the girls.”
Kedou-senpai is somehow dependable. As expected of the student body president. I’ve got a better opinion of her!
But still, if it’s only 20%, it doesn’t seem to matter if Mom doesn’t come. I’m sure the trend won’t suddenly change this year.
It’s not right to ask a busy mother to come and visit me for the sake of a foolish son like me. And it’s not worth it to have Sekka-san visit me as a substitute for her.
“By the way, why are you sitting on my lap?”
After the matter was settled and I felt refreshed, I asked her a question that was bothering me. For some reason, the president was sitting on my lap.
“Well, I may have jumped the gun a little too much. I thought it might be easier to do that after we’d gotten to know each other a little better. So what do you think? How about calling each other by name or nickname in order to shorten the distance between us? I recommend Mu-chan, which means “the moon is getting closer”.”
“You’re getting too close all of a sudden, Mu-chan.”
Ah, I knew it, this person is no good. My evaluation has dropped dramatically!
Calling the chairman by her name is a hurdle. She’s a senior, and I’d like if possible to dispense with the nickname Mu-chan. The student body president is the boss of this school. I think it’s appropriate to call her by a respectful name, but it’s hard to decide what to call her.
“First of all, we need to shorten the physical distance between us.”
“Can you move? You’re heavy”
“What should I do? Aren’t you happy?”
I answered honestly. I’m happy.
“Is my butt really bothering you that much? Fufu. To tell you the truth, it’s actually getting bigger these days. Yukito Kokonoe, this is a secret, but it’s easy to give birth to.”
“Too insignificant for me to get it out of my head!”
I was told an unexpected secret. What am I supposed to do with that!
Don’t be shy. I thought it would make you happy. Yes, I know. For the future, for the future. I’m thinking about the future.”
“Is it really the future?”
She’s the student body president, so she sees the world differently than I, a shallow, uneducated person.
” You could tell me some secrets too, if you wanted to, you know? Yes, because I know you, and you don’t seem to do things like that for no reason. Tell me. What the hell was that thing? It’s like it doesn’t make any sense. Before I knew it, you were the only one who had been wronged. I swear I won’t let anything bad happen to you. What in the world is the truth, Yukito Kokonoe?”
The president, who had suddenly taken on a serious expression, dropped to her knees and turned to face me.
The truth is that there is no truth to be told at this point. What you see is all there is.
“I’m just a piece of sh*t.”
“No, you’re not! You are again someone—-“
“Mutsuki, sorry to keep you waiting. –Is that you, Kokonoe-kun?”
“Mikumo-senpai, it’s the HIPBOSS!”
“Don’t nickname her like she is a director in the northern land.”