Chapter 9: Even if I understand it in my head.
“Ababababa ……, Onii-chan came home with a friends …….”
I was casually looking out the window of my room when I saw Onii-chan with a beautiful woman …… and the Yankee girl I’ve heard so much about.
I was so shocked that I threw off the pajamas I was changing into, and I sat upright in the middle of the room.
“And I thought you didn’t have any friends. …… I thought you were just acting tough.”
My chest hurt ……an emotion I hadn’t remembered in a long time …… jealousy …….
When I was a kid, I loved Onii-chan. I wanted to annoy my brother, who was always playing with his childhood friend Shizuka.
When I heard a bad rumor about Onii-chan at school, I told my mom just for fun.
I thought that if I did that, Onii-chan would play with me……
Everyone knows me. Everyone thinks I’m a stupid kid.
But that’s okay. Everyone loves me when I pretend to be stupid.
If I pretended to be stupid, I wouldn’t know who I really am anymore.……
Onii-chan stopped talking to Shizuka. Or rather, he stopped talking to anyone.
I don’t like my brother when he gets darker. It was boring to go out with him.
He didn’t respond to anything I said. I was so frustrated that it became normal for me to lash out at my brother.
My mom and dad were nice to me. But what was really expected of me was Onii-chan………..
He only thought of me as a puppet.
And I thought that if I could be nice to him at some point, he would automatically fall in love with me. Gap, gap.
In junior high school, the bad rumors about Onii-chan continued to grow.
I don’t know if they were true or not.
My mother was disgusted and blamed Onii-chan in a harsh tone of voice, and I was pulled in by it and blamed Onii-chan. I couldn’t stop myself.
Dad was different. He was strict, but he tried to treat my brother as a normal person.
However, it caused him to fall out with my mother.
Although he is far away from home now, …… if he had stayed at home, …… he would not have been able to help him……
I can’t get my head around it.
Onii-chan, who was outside, had a peaceful look on his face.
I haven’t seen a face like that since …… I was a kid!
Onii-chan became darker, but he became more beautiful and cooler. His grades at school improved dramatically, and he became the Onii-chan was proud of.
I wondered if it was time for us to be friends. It was around the time I graduated from junior high school that I thought it was time to be friends with him.
I made the mistake of being nice to him at the wrong time. …… If only I had been nicer to him sooner, …….
I should have made up with him sooner.
I pretended to be an idiot and I couldn’t do that.
I was a real idiot for calculating such timing …….
Since then, every time I try to get to know Onii-chan and talk to him, I hurt myself.
Because …… Onii-chan …… looks at me like I’m a stranger.
I tried to talk to him over and over again.
The words that came back to me were all hollow.
But I was not discouraged. I should be more foolish. I should just sleep and forget about my sadness.
“Why did you have to go …… with that yankee girl, the one with all the bad rumors? Let’s …… talk Onii-chan for now.”
My heart sank.
Regret weighs down my body.
Why do I feel like this?
Where did I go wrong?
…… Does Onii-chan think that I believe the rumors?
I was only joking.…… Onii-chan …… Is it for me …… too late?
I thought I had told you that I was joking,…….
–The truth is, I know. I’m sorry that I was stupid enough to believe a bad rumor, even if it was a joke.
I ran out of the room without putting on my pajama bottoms.
Onii-chan was about to open the door to his room.
“Hey, Onii-chan! I bought you your favorite rice cake today! We’ll eat it together—-“
He only bowed deeply to me.
“Haruka-san, I’m sorry, I’m full. Good night.”
He did smile. But that smile made my heart ache ……. It was as if he didn’t see me as family.
I don’t know when it started. Onii-chan calls me Haruka-san. That …… made me feel terribly distant and it …… hurt my heart.
The door slammed shut quietly.
I was standing there in the hallway with my pants hanging open.
“It’s okay, it’s okay, Haruka will forget about it after she sleeps. It’s ……, so it’s okay. Mmmmm!”
I spanked my a*s with both hands to get myself together and went back to my room.
“Thanks for the update! Uhm, I’m Pomeko. This story was a lot brighter than usual, and it put me in a fun mood! …… Take care of yourself and keep up the good work! I’m rooting for you!”
Before I knew it, I had a routine.
I check my phone before Homeroom in the morning. There was always a message from Pomeko-san on my phone.
A few days had passed since that day, but Shinozuka and I hadn’t spoken to each other at school.
I don’t know Shinozuka’s reasons, but we have been betrayed by someone we trusted.
I wasn’t going to make any friends.
After I finished checking my phone, I took out my book.
Shinozuka, who was sitting next to me, was also reading a book.
It was a quiet space.
It was comfortable for us.
At the homeroom meeting, we discussed the formation of our field trip group.
The teacher just told us to make a group and left the rest to the class members.
The class members awkwardly presented their ideas to their classmates on the podium.
As a result of the various discussions, it was decided to form the groups as they wished.
My classmates were happily making their groups.
The only ones who didn’t move were me and Shinozuka.
We were going to be left out anyway. We’d be on our own.
So we just waited for the time to pass.
I heard a loud sigh from next door.
At the same time, Shinozuka stood up, making a clattering sound with her chair.
“Haa ……, can’t help it.”
She looked at me as if she was glaring at me, and then walked towards the blackboard.
The class members were frightened when they saw Shinozuka.
My classmates were buzzing.
“Eh, you’re not happy?”
“I’m going to skip the field trip anyway.”
Shinozuka bowed to the teacher and snatched the chalk from the class member with vigor.
“What? Shut up. I want to go home as soon as possible.”
She began to write on the blackboard with the chalk.
In surprisingly clean, large letters, he wrote 『Shinozuka, Shinjo』 and circled it in a large circle.
Saito-san made a sound like a scream.
“‘Eh……! W-why? I-I knew it…….”
Shinozuka ignored the voice and said to the teacher.
“It’s our group. No complaints, right? It doesn’t matter if there’s two of us, we’re just a couple of outcasts.”
“Eh, uh, Se-Sensei…….”
The nervous class member asked the teacher for help.
The teacher said there was no problem.
“I don’t mind if its a group of 2. So that’s it. Yes, dismissed!”
Shinozuka sniffed and went back to her seat…….
I mean, why did you decide to do that?
Shinotsuka told me as she sat down.
“It’s not that I want to get to know you, but I just wanted to get home as soon as possible.”
“I see…… that’s fine.”
The HR session ended, and Shinozuka and I left the classroom early.
The two of us walked our separate ways. We are not friends.
“Why did you put us in a group together? Pomeko-san!”
“What? It was a pain in the a*s! Damn it, If I hadn’t done that, you would have ended up in a group with some weirdos!”
“…… You’re right. I don’t want to be in Saito-san’s group.”
“Right? Nyanta, you need to speak up.”
“I’m not a yankee like you, Pomeko. …… Let’s not talk about school anymore.”
I know how lonely it is to go on a field trip by yourself.
Although everyone seems to be having fun with their friends, an overwhelming sense of alienation and loneliness follows.
Even if I strengthen my heart, it’s hard to make it all go away.
It was something I could never get used to, no matter how many times I experienced it.
We were in the food court of a desolate shopping center.
We hadn’t made any special arrangements.
Whenever I come here, Pomeko-san is usually there.
It’s not that I’m here to see Shinozuka. I just find it easier to write than at home.
Pomeko-san drinks a glass of juice as she clicks away at her keyboard.
“So, how’s the latest story coming along? I mean, how’s the book going?”
“I’ve finished tonight’s story, just need to polish it and I’m done. It’s going to be a book.……”
To be honest, I’m still hesitating. It’s a great honor. It’s a pleasure to have a novel that I’ve written as I please become a book.
But I’m a minor. I’ll be causing trouble for my …… family.
“Well, take your time. You’re meeting my sister the day after tomorrow, right? She may be a blabbermouth, but she’s got real passion for her work.…… maybe that’s why she can’t get a boyfriend.”
What is it? Shinozuka was less intimidating during Pomeko’s time.
Even now, I could feel the way she felt about Saeko-san.
” Yeah, you really like your sister, don’t you?”
“A-are you an idiot!? No, not really. …… Well, we’re family.”
“I see. Family…….”
How is my father? I haven’t seen him in a long time, but I wonder if …… he would have supported me if he was here.
“Hey, Nyanta! Don’t look so glum! Come on, we’re going to battle now.”
“What’s the subject?”
“Hmm, how about the field trip?”
“Okay, 500 words, right?
“Yeah, I’m in!
We’re going to write a short story and let her sister judge the quality of our work.
This is a game that only Pomeko and I can play.
I have no intention of getting along with her. Shinozuka must be feeling it in the back of her mind.
–I’m afraid of being betrayed.
So I’m careful not to step in any more than I have to.
“Whoa! The speed is my victory!”
“Pomeko, you have a funny ending.”
“Shut up! Let’s see what you got!”
We exchanged our phones. I had never given my phone to anyone before because I was afraid.
I had been robbed before. I never want to remember it again.
Pomeko-san was reading a short story on my phone, and her expression looked – very – happy.
I felt something strange on my face and touched my hand to it.
Something was distorting my face.
No, this is a smile.
Well, …… I’m having …… fun right now.
Even though it was supposed to be fun, for some reason something came up from the back of my mind.
I tried my best to suppress it as I read Pomeko’s short story.
Pomeko’s bland words were terribly painful to bear.
“An? You’re about to cry, Nyanta! Okay! It’s a work of art!”
I—- answered honestly.
“Yeah, that’s true. …… Pomeko is amazing. Haha.”
“Fufun… …… I see… ……”
Pomeko’s gentle smile seeped into my heart.
21 comments »
some mobAugust 30, 2021 at 12:21 am
………………………Ah, so sweet~~…..just the second part. It seems our MC is starting to recover but he still have chains weighting on him. Also, the step-sister is nothing but garbage(she seems to be Yukito’s childhoodfriend parallel version….albeist worse, no, i mean, more stupid(way way more)).
Seems that our MC will go to the field trip or whatever trip with the supposed yankee as a couple….i mean, as a group. I’m nearly sure that he will start considering getting closer to her…he would be afraid of doing so due to reasons.
Can someone spoil me if the MC lash out to his step-mother and step-sister?….I have gotten curious as well expectant of it……no need for the details nor the chapter, i just want to know if he will do it or not……..
chromelive023August 30, 2021 at 12:55 am
So heres the spoiler i used google translate on the raw so its not 100% accurate so when his book gets published he comes home he tend is greeted by his step mom at the front who then asks why he didn’t tell her about his book then he says its because he thought she would stop it from being published.
Then he thinks about the past being told by his step mom that if he had time for anime and manga he should focus on taking care of his sister man this women is a selfish b***h who forced her step son to raise her kid for her and treats him like garbage then he says his reasons why and calls her out on all of her s**t and threatens to leave home if she interferes with his book also for some reason he pats his sister on the head I’m not sure why but he does I’m not sure if he left home as of the chapter but he is prepared to do so.
some mobAugust 30, 2021 at 1:11 am
……………..It was better than i hoped……my expectations have rised……by a lot!!!!
Thanks for it!!!!!
chromelive023August 30, 2021 at 1:37 am
Your welcome plus it happens in i believe 4 chapters so in a week or 2 we will read it depending on release schedule.
UdinAugust 30, 2021 at 7:56 am
Thanks for chapter
Chapter 8: The Beginning Connection – Soafp TranslationAugust 30, 2021 at 10:04 am
[…] Chapter 9 […]
mismatchmakingAugust 30, 2021 at 11:56 am
Oh… almost everyone around mc is calculating aren’t they? Thanks for the chapter~
RKADE 14September 10, 2021 at 7:09 pm
So far, my likability of the girls is 0 across the board for everyone except the mother and our dear yankee, the mother in the negatives while Pomeko’s rating just keeps going up.
I also don’t know how the dad will be, but so far, it sounds good, he has hope, could turn around completely though.
BeastationSeptember 14, 2021 at 3:09 am
Okay, time out. Th other two are somewhat believable characters, but Haruka seems like a fake person. She’s high-school aged, why is her mental age like a 9 year old? If she really has an illness Makoto would know about that right? He would have mentioned it earler, it seems a very important detail.
FadliOctober 3, 2021 at 12:00 pm
Mantap, saya sangat menyukai cerita ini di setiap chapter nya saat perempuan yang mengkhianati mc mendapat ganjarannya !!!
midori2goOctober 10, 2021 at 7:17 pm
Men wish the step mom died
estresadoporunamontaadelibrosOctober 29, 2021 at 5:51 am
Gracias por el capítulo
call of duty 6 descargarNovember 1, 2021 at 4:10 pm
Do you mind if I quote a couple of your posts as long as I provide credit and sources back to your
HitamNovember 20, 2021 at 11:38 am
You know, you should ask the author not the translator
Alucard90November 21, 2021 at 5:52 pm
Why would she slap her own a*s to hype herself up?
NoNameNovember 26, 2021 at 8:32 pm
So he knew it actually eh…
Well, i guess as expected of a defensive loner…
Kenji KotarouDecember 13, 2021 at 8:16 pm
Every female characters in this light novel is unlikable wtf? Except for pomeko and her sister. They’re alright. That b***h imouto tho. I don’t like her and her way of thinking. Stupid. Anyway thanks for the chapter~
Sky BreakerDecember 23, 2021 at 7:02 pm
I can understand why the MC is treating his “family” that way. Cause truth is, that his not his family. That is simply a foster home. There is an unspoken rule when it comes to family. You can hurt each other all you want but you don’t let other people hurt your family. Once you take the side of an outsider over one of your own, that person cease to be one of your own.
riohatsuneFebruary 2, 2022 at 1:18 pm
His stepsister is literally a garbage WTF!
Thanks for the chapter!
The second part is sooo good!!!
Reader3329May 11, 2022 at 4:51 pm
Glad to see that MC’s father is a good person
Alucard90December 6, 2022 at 2:41 pm
I’ve always wondered this but why did imouto smack her a**? Usually it’s the race cheeks that get smacked to psych yourself up right?