Chapter 9: It was just an empty vessel.

Translator: Soafp

TL: If you want to read Eminence in Shadow Volume 5 click here

---

[Kurosaki PoV]

“I’m in love”

This is love.

This was my impression when I first saw Narimiya.

At the same time.

“But what about that guy?”

This was my impression after spending time with Toki.

---

I had been repeatedly changing schools since I was a child, and every time I made a new friend, I got tired of it.

I thought he’s going to leave again anyway.

I had never made any friends, thinking that they would leave again soon. I was good at superficial relationships. I could get into it if I wanted to be popular because I would repeat myself over and over again. In fact, instead of bullying me, they even shed tears as they bid me farewell.

So that’s about it.

I don’t know if I’d call it mastery or abandonment.

There was no one I had a bond with. Not even my parents.

It was my eighth grade year.

When I arrived at my new move-in address.

I will live here for a long time, my parents told me so.

Having never been attached to a place, I didn’t understand what they meant by that.

It was going to be a piece of cake anyway, I thought.

As usual, I took advantage of my new student’s peculiar curiosity and joined a circle.

See, it was a piece of cake.

When I arrived home on the first day at my new school, my knees were laughing. Apparently, I had pushed myself too hard.

I didn’t look at people properly, thinking that I was going to leave them anyway. The bill for that had been accumulating.

I had set up an open personality because I had always been based on superficial relationships. I’ve only known how to relate to people in this way because I’ve always assumed that classmates who step in with a nudge will leave me anyway.

I see. Magic. I was just putting on a show. Once the seeds were ripped, there was nothing left for me.

Just an empty vessel.

After a few days, I was beginning to feel a little fear.

Then I met Haruka and Toki.

---

Haruka, this one not good.

She was a bundle of emotions, as well as looks.

Always smiling, but with droopy eyes.

I’ve never been attached to anything, but then I got hooked. I just can’t show my empty self.

I could do anything for her, even if it meant being open-minded.

And Toki. He was emptier than me. Even though I’m still empty, it’s just the image of a plate. If you put something on it, I’m something.

Toki is different.

He is a donut with a hole in it. Nothing goes on it. Nothing will stay on it.

Made out of nothing. Made out of emptiness.

I was the only one who understood.

I felt safe when I was with Toki. He never laughed, not even at his knees.

I felt comfortable with his non-invasive nature. I didn’t know there was such a guy.

I could be best friends with him.

If only Haruka wasn’t there.

Toki is a doughnut, but Haruka is only looking at him. No matter what she pours, it’s useless, but she poured plenty of it.

It was ridiculous.

---