Chapter 9: It was just an empty vessel.
TL: If you want to read Eminence in Shadow Volume 5 click here
“I’m in love”
This is love.
This was my impression when I first saw Narimiya.
At the same time.
“But what about that guy?”
This was my impression after spending time with Toki.
I had been repeatedly changing schools since I was a child, and every time I made a new friend, I got tired of it.
I thought he’s going to leave again anyway.
I had never made any friends, thinking that they would leave again soon. I was good at superficial relationships. I could get into it if I wanted to be popular because I would repeat myself over and over again. In fact, instead of bullying me, they even shed tears as they bid me farewell.
So that’s about it.
I don’t know if I’d call it mastery or abandonment.
There was no one I had a bond with. Not even my parents.
It was my eighth grade year.
When I arrived at my new move-in address.
I will live here for a long time, my parents told me so.
Having never been attached to a place, I didn’t understand what they meant by that.
It was going to be a piece of cake anyway, I thought.
As usual, I took advantage of my new student’s peculiar curiosity and joined a circle.
See, it was a piece of cake.
When I arrived home on the first day at my new school, my knees were laughing. Apparently, I had pushed myself too hard.
I didn’t look at people properly, thinking that I was going to leave them anyway. The bill for that had been accumulating.
I had set up an open personality because I had always been based on superficial relationships. I’ve only known how to relate to people in this way because I’ve always assumed that classmates who step in with a nudge will leave me anyway.
I see. Magic. I was just putting on a show. Once the seeds were ripped, there was nothing left for me.
Just an empty vessel.
After a few days, I was beginning to feel a little fear.
Then I met Haruka and Toki.
Haruka, this one not good.
She was a bundle of emotions, as well as looks.
Always smiling, but with droopy eyes.
I’ve never been attached to anything, but then I got hooked. I just can’t show my empty self.
I could do anything for her, even if it meant being open-minded.
And Toki. He was emptier than me. Even though I’m still empty, it’s just the image of a plate. If you put something on it, I’m something.
Toki is different.
He is a donut with a hole in it. Nothing goes on it. Nothing will stay on it.
Made out of nothing. Made out of emptiness.
I was the only one who understood.
I felt safe when I was with Toki. He never laughed, not even at his knees.
I felt comfortable with his non-invasive nature. I didn’t know there was such a guy.
I could be best friends with him.
If only Haruka wasn’t there.
Toki is a doughnut, but Haruka is only looking at him. No matter what she pours, it’s useless, but she poured plenty of it.
It was ridiculous.
3 comments »
ZackJanuary 14, 2023 at 6:40 am
thanks for the chapter also bRuH
NoctisJanuary 14, 2023 at 6:03 pm
Thanks for the chapter!
Expected to see a POV from the antagonist Kurosaki, but this…I second the BRUH of Zack, this is definitely a BRUH moment.
PtolemyJanuary 15, 2023 at 3:16 am
Thanks for the chapter and I would like to follow up the comments. I will also say “Bruh” with “What the f**k is wrong with you. Kurosaki.”