Chapter 11: First and last time
High school graduation ceremony.
From the day I received Haruka’s declaration, I strangely could not hate her. The fact that the plate was shattered made me more aware of my feelings for the person who shattered it.
I was just a man between the two of them, and I hadn’t even confessed my feelings to her. I knew I wasn’t even at the starting line.
I wasn’t ready to put everything I had into it. I was just scared.
The path of Haruka’s love had not changed since the moment I met her. It was a truth that only I knew. That’s why I hesitated.
And above all, now that my relationship with Haruka is over, I feel anger toward Toki, to whom Haruka’s affection continues to turn. I guess I had a sense of superiority until now. It was reckless of me to want to be angry at Toki.
But that’s why, having played the lubricant so comically up to this point, I decided to take it all apart once and for all.
I didn’t want to remain ridiculous.
College life is about to begin. Before that, I’m going to destroy the relationship between the three of us and start all of us off on the right foot.
On the way home from the graduation party. It was always the three of us.
At a park where the three of us used to go together, I would tell Toki everything in front of Haruka. Then Haruka finally gets over Toki. Toki would beat me up and it will be over.
That’s what I thought.
But it was Toki who told her the truth.
Toki was the one who finished from the very beginning.
He was smiling all the way through, without a trace of sadness.
He said goodbye and left without even looking at Haruka, who was stunned. I was angry because my plan had been crushed and all I got from him was an apology, and he told me to take care of it.
Haha. I was the one who was fool after all.
Did Toki knew it, and was he smiling like that for a long time? I had no idea.
It was the summer of our second year in high school. Up to that point, I thought for sure we were best friends. Plates and doughnuts. It was fun when they came together.
I guess I stopped seeing Toki properly from that point on. I don’t know if it was because I felt guilty or if I just didn’t want to see the walls that I couldn’t cross.
When Toki said goodbye to me, the feelings that I had been determined to express to him struck out.
I found myself shaking a little on my knees, feeling this sense of hopelessness. I felt as if I was back to the day I transferred to my new school.
What, is this what it means to lose a friend? My last friends before transferring. Their faces came to mind.
And to think, I must have gone crazy from that day on.
When I got to college, I began to blow it all around me.
Haruka is my girl.
On the other hand, I also told everyone about the affair she had with me. Switching the positions of Toki and me.
I guess I didn’t realize how pointless it was to do this.
Haruka avoided me more and more. The guy who liked Haruka beat me up and cursed me for lying, and then I found out that he was dating her.
And it wasn’t a dig at me, it wasn’t a check or anything. She doesn’t even look at him. Behind that, she always saw only Toki. I was the only one who could see it.
Hahaha. What was that.
Don’t f*ck with me, don’t f*ck with me.
My behavior gradually escalated to the point that I had become a habitual stalker.
This is love.
This is has to be love.
Yes, it’s Haruka’s fault for not accepting it.
That’s all I could think anymore.
You were aiming the same thing for Toki.
So why not me too?
That’s all I could think of anymore.
I was happy every time I got a bad look, even when I posed.
I went as far as I could go, and finally my parents beat me up.
My parents worked for a company related to Narimiya. I didn’t know that because the company name was different.
I couldn’t stay in this town.
My parents told me this, and I was forced to leave school voluntarily and move out.
Apparently, through kindness, she let me choose. It’s either a file report to the police or I leave this town.
It was the first and last emotion only Haruka had ever given me.
6 comments »
PtolemyJanuary 17, 2023 at 12:42 am
The only thing that I can come up to my brain is “What in the actual f**k are you thinking?”
ZackJanuary 17, 2023 at 4:40 pm
this some crazy s**t
NoctisJanuary 17, 2023 at 11:29 pm
Well, Kurosaki got it quite easy…not as brutal as I hoped but at least he paid the price for his actions even if far too late.
Toki did say that he could only see 2 black-hearted persons whenever he looked at his “friends”, no wonder he was smiling when he broke the relationships he had with them both on graduation day. Thanks for the chapter!
STandreJanuary 18, 2023 at 11:48 pm
Well, i don’t know how to feel about this Novel, Chapter 6 sounded so promising about Toki healing and then the following chapter just poired more trauma down his throat and learn that Chapter 6 was misleading and Toki is still in trauma city.
I hope that it becomes actually good and it doesn’t devolve into ‘how much s**t can we shovel into MC’s throat’ and ‘in the end he forgives Haruka and gets married to her because grue love and *both were guilty’ i mean i don’t mind if he forgives her in order to get closure for himself, but one thing is to forgive and another is to be an idiot and crawl back to someone who f****d you over.
VillagerAJanuary 20, 2023 at 7:47 pm
Luo (@luohuo123)February 9, 2023 at 7:58 pm
lol i was wondering why is this author wasting so many chapter on this guy, but it was just to end him… lol..