Chapter 10: I was the fool

Translator: Soafp

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[Kurosaki PoV]

Then I waited for my chance.

No matter how much selfless love there is, there is a limit.

I had seen my parents in a cold relationship, and I had experienced it firsthand.

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From then on, I was close to Toki, believing that one day he would come to me, the person closest to him, when we parted ways.

I was used to faking my feelings.

That’s why I kept talking to him about women I wasn’t interested in and other things I wasn’t interested in.

Maybe this is what obsession is all about.

It was the summer vacation of my sophomore year, halfway through high school.

I happened to meet Haruka at a place where I went out. I put a lid on the happiness that was about to ooze out of me and invited her to a café, half expecting her to reject me.

Haruka took me up on the offer, perhaps because she was more depressed than I had ever seen her.

She is a very strong person and basically never goes out with anyone unless it’s with Toki.

Unlike the past, when I have kept the relationship thin and narrow, in order to make this place my home.

I felt like the seeds I had sown since junior high had sprouted.

From then on, I was careful not to be too friendly, but kept throwing the words Haruka wanted.

If I respond too harshly, not only will the conversation come to a stop, but she will be wary of me as well. I’ll be treated no differently than any other guy who has ever confessed to this girl.

It’s just an aid. A lubricant for Toki. That was the extent of my role.

Then, finally, a flower bloomed.

Haruka must have been smoldering. She would never allow me to kiss her, but other than that, she accepted most of my kisses. But I didn’t know that much either. I was only a high school student. I couldn’t ask anyone around me, so I was just moved by the fact that she accepted me.

I am aware of what I did wrong. I also felt guilty for Toki. But I couldn’t stop.

No, I don’t think there is such a thing.

It was just my obsession and desire.

But when my body was satisfied, I realized it.

Nothing was pouring onto my plate.

I was aware that the longer I continued my relationship with Haruka, the more cracks would appear on my plate. Still, I wanted her to turn to me, so I tried my best to be an aid and lubricant to continue this relationship.

If it was revealed that I wanted Haruka’s heart, this relationship would end. I was aware of that.

But it was all for nothing.

White Day in my senior year of high school.

On that day, the end came abruptly.

That day Haruka was the same as the day she first asked me for advice. The only difference was that she was driven by impatience.

Everything was about how to return Valentine’s Day.

Frankly, I couldn’t think of anything. I can’t think about it.

Unable to be in the same position as always, regardless of my state of mind, I was listening to her, pretending to be calm.

But her last words shattered my plate.

“I’m sorry for everything, Kurosaki-kun.”

It wasn’t gratitude or affection directed at me, but just an apology.

I was the fool.

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