“Yahooo! I’m home!! Onii-chan, are you here?? Onii-chaaaan? Where could he be, I wonder?”
Today was filled with various things and quite enjoyable. I’ve become friends with the unbelievably cute Mio, and I’ve also managed to get along with the somewhat annoying but endearing Yuzuki. Plus, I think I’ve made friends with Yagami, that guy I talked to after a long time.
…But seriously! What’s up with him saying he’s not friends with me? What’s his deal?! Is he just being tsundere? I’m totally going to make him say he wants to be friends with me from now on! It’s so frustrating!
Well, for now, it’s not important. Right now, I have something I need to do.
“Onii-chaaaan? Where aaare you? Your adorable little sister is back!”
I probably look pretty intense to anyone observing as I search for my brother with bloodshot eyes. Even washing my hands can wait right now.
Since my big brother is currently a proud member of the unemployed, he should be home around this time. Normally, he’d greet me with an awkward “Welcome back!” when I return… But.
As I approach the living room while glancing around, I can hear rather loud snoring. Like a fierce carnivorous predator stalking its prey, I swiftly swing open the door.
My big brother is sprawled out in the living room, sleeping soundly. There are potato chip crumbs scattered about, and the TV is on with an anime playing. And as usual, he’s just wearing his underwear.
With all the hatred I can muster, I prepare myself for an all-out attack. My target: a boy’s weak point. Yes, his groin. To effectively damage him like a suit of armor, there’s no other choice.
Whether sensing my presence or just waking up, my brother notices me. But it’s too late now.
“Oh, sis… Sorry, I was asleep… By the way, why are you giving me such a murderous glare and doing a running start!?”
“Dieeeeeeeeee!! You idiot Onii-chan! Dieeeeee!”
Even the quintessential big brother is no match for a surprise fat ball kicking. The blow that I put all my strength into was a clean hit.
He raised his voice inaudibly, and in front of me, a muscle dharma wearing only underpants was wriggling and squirming like a caterpillar. Naturally, the picture is nothing short of horrendous.
“Guuuaaaa…! Akane?! What on earth…!?”
“You idiot, Onii-chan! Because of you, I’ve embarrassed myself enough for a lifetime in just one day! My mind went blank, and I seriously thought I might die like this!!”
“What the…!! Was it really that bad?”
With a look of disbelief, my older brother asks, and I continue to complain while catching my breath.
“It’s beyond bad at this point! I got humiliated during the self-introduction on my first day at the new school! And why did I even think that would work?! Why did I believe what you said?! Are you an idiot!?”
Yeah, that’s right. He’s my older brother, but I was just as crazy for going along with it without questioning anything.
“Huh? Well, Akane is an idiot, after all. Well, those kinds of traits are the big brother’s points▽◇◎＄￡※⊆〒^^“
“Idiot!! I’m not talking about that!!”
I deliver another punch to my brother, who is saying something completely nonsensical.
Slightly satisfied with his floundering, I decide to wait until my brother recovers.
“I’m… sorry, little sister! Please stop this… I can’t be completely useless… anymore…”
“Even though there’s no sign you’ll ever get a girlfriend?”
“Guh… Akane… Are you trying to kill your brother!?”
My brother is popular among guys but has absolutely no luck with girls. Well, he doesn’t have any resistance to girls, to be more precise.
After exchanging a few more words, we both start laughing uncontrollably. Honestly, and as expected, I wasn’t really angry. That’s just how things are between me and my brother.
My brother, who seems to have almost fully recovered, suddenly adopts his usual composed expression and looks at me with a serious gaze.
“So, Akane… Have you made any friends?”
He usually looks serious when he’s being genuine, unlike this. I tell him about making friends like Mio, Yuzuki, and Yagami.
“I see, I see. I’m particularly interested in this Yagami person. I wonder if he can guide you toward becoming a strong woman… Now, what kind of guy is he?”
“No, no, we just met today! I just want to be friends with him normally! Besides, he looks dead inside, so I don’t think he’s strong or anything!”
“I see… So, he’s someone ‘burdened with sorrow.’ I can see even more potential for strength in him now. I must meet him at least once…”.
My older brother, who’s saying these cool things with a proud expression, gets a cold look from me.
The protagonist of the anime I’ve been watching non-stop since earlier is saying the exact same thing. It’s shamelessly copied, you know. It’s incredible how quickly I get influenced by weird stuff.
As I’m getting frustrated, suddenly there’s a strong knocking sound on the front door.
Crap, I must have shouted too loudly again. Just from the sound, I can tell who it is. It’s definitely the old lady next door. She’s the type who loves to nag and lecture, and honestly, I’m not a fan of that. Well, I mean, we’re at fault too, right?
“Todoroki-san!! Could you please stop making so much noise all the time!? I can’t hear the rerun of the drama I’ve been looking forward to!! Don’t you understand? You’re here, aren’t you? You know it!”
See, it’s the old lady! She’s really angry… I wanted to signal my brother for help, but he’s supposed to be the strongest fighter and a true man, yet he’s sitting in the corner of the room in a triangular pose.
“I apologize!! I am just not good with that old lady… She was so persistent the other day that I tried to say something back, but she broke my spirit… She’s strong. She comes at me with things like being unemployed and disliked by kids and animals, crushing my heart… Akane! I’m counting on you for the rest!”
“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeh? No way, this is so embarrassing!”
Yeah, that’s right! My brother might have physical strength, but he’s really weak in verbal arguments…
Well, there’s no helping it. I guess I’ll have to become the old lady’s punching bag. Looking at my brother, who’s shrinking in the corner, I start feeling anxious about whether I’ll embarrass myself in front of my friends.
After enduring the old lady’s snide remarks for about two hours, when I finally return to my room, my brother comes over to hug me as if to say “You did well,” and I deliver a well-aimed punch to his sensitive area with a smile.
That one comment, “If you keep making snide remarks for two hours, the drama will be over,” might have been unnecessary…