[TL: The upcoming 3 chapters are side stories]
“She’s being carried away lately, hasn’t she?”
“Right. I heard her novel’s going to be published.”
“I mean, she’s a nerd.”
‘She used to be the goldfish in our group. It’s kind of annoying, so don’t make it a hub.”
I, Chisa Hizaki, thought I was living a normal student life.
I thought I was a bit reclusive, writing novels was the only thing I was good at, and I thought I was spending my school life quietly.
There were many mischievous students in my class, both male and female.
I should have just stayed quiet. …… I was so happy that my novel was going to be published that I told my group of friends about it. It was a mistake.
“Eh w-what are you guys talking about? Aren’t you looking forward to the field trip the week after next?”
They had a conversation in front of me that I couldn’t understand. my hub?
The kids in my group, who had been talking normally earlier, didn’t even make eye contact. They ignored my words.
I understood what had happened. This is what I call …… being an outcast.
I couldn’t do anything about the wall that had been erected in the blink of an eye, and only a feeling of loneliness was born in my heart.
From that day on, I was considered a nobody by my entire class.
It was hard for me to go to school. I didn’t think that mere ignorance could be so damaging to my heart.
The group I was in was one that stood out in the class. My classmates looked at me with an opportunity to see me fall.
I had been talking to them normally until yesterday, but the fear of suddenly being ignored. I was about to be traumatized.
Even so, I decided to somehow try to update my novel. If I wrote my novel, I wouldn’t have to think about anything else.
The moment I stopped tapping on the keyboard, I remembered my classmate’s cold stare that stuck in my brain and wouldn’t leave.
One day, two days, ten days passed, but the exclusion didn’t disappear.
But just before we went on a field trip, I received a message from a girl in my group.
“I’m getting bored, so let’s be friends on the field trip.”
It was a nasty message, but I was happy.
My emotions were all messed up. I was happy even though I didn’t like it. I was relieved.
Now I can have a normal life with my classmates.
That’s what I thought.
But that was not the case.
On the day of the field trip, the girls from my original group talked to me. Only the leader of the group, Miyuki Mitobe, didn’t talk to me.
Even though I was only lonely for a few days, I felt happy that she talked to me.
So I tried not to look at the unpleasant air. I was letting the words and phrases that teased me flow.
It was more snarky than before, but it was better than being ignored.
I spent the rest of the bus ride hiding my disgust.
As we entered the park and were divided into groups, the atmosphere changed rapidly.
We were together, but there was no conversation. I just walked behind the girls.
It was as if they didn’t even want to look at me. I thought it was over, but the ignoring continued again.
My heart starts to beat faster and faster. Why did I make a mistake?
What did I do wrong? I just told everyone that I was happy that the novel I worked so hard on was published?
When I got in line for the attraction, I was alone. Everyone in the group was standing in front of me, talking happily. Occasionally they would look at me and sneer. I pretend to be insensitive and unaware.
I was actually looking forward to the field trip that I was going to take with everyone.
I knew it would be a special excursion, and I had done my homework long before.
I never thought that being alone would be so painful.
How could they be so cruel?
“Chisa, you stay here. We’re going to the bathroom.”
Her eyes were not looking at me. It was as if she was talking to herself.
For the next hour, I stood there …….
I knew they would never come here again. Still, I wanted a little bit of hope.
It’s so painful to be ignored by everyone in this small world of middle school.
I tried to hold back my frustration, hold back my tears, hold back my shame ……. But I was at my limit.
And that’s when I saw it.
It was a very beautiful older sister and a very well-faced older brother.
–This was the first encounter between me, my sister Shinozuka and my brother Shinjo.
Then I met Takeru Dojima on the bus on the way home.
This encounter would changed me for the better.
“Fumu, why is Hizaki being ignored by everyone?”
“Y-you’re asking the hardest thing to say straight out, ……. The reasons are trivial. It’s because I-I got carried away. ……”
Dojima and I are having dinner together at Saigeria, an Italian restaurant near our house.
I put aside the souvenirs from Destinyland that my sister and brother and I had picked out and bought together, and devoured a bowl of doria.
Dojima is a strange boy.
He wants to listen to me talk about my novel because he was curious about my expression.
It was hard to see his face with his shaggy hair, but he had a very neat face.
“So, you were all alone on the field trip? I’ve never seen you talking to any of your classmates. …… Aren’t you lonely?”
” Lonely ……. These feelings disappeared when I was in elementary school. Well, I can understand the word lonely just because the emotional value has disappeared.”
“U-uhm…… I don’t know what that means. ……”
“Haha, don’t worry about it. I am trying to regain my emotional self in this school life. To do that, I need you.”
I was surprised when he suddenly said he needed me.
Dojima’s smile was pure and innocent. There was something different about him from the other classmates. A weirdo who claims to have no emotions himself. I wonder if he’s suffering from chuunibyou?
“Now, can you explain your novel to me?”
“Uh, y-yeah. Well, then, let’s start with this page–“
And we talked about the novel and the subtleties of the mind all the way through at Saigeria.
Dojima seemed to have had a painful experience in elementary school.
He didn’t tell me the details, but he said that he wished all his bad feelings would disappear. And then the feelings just fell away.
…… Is that really possible?
Dojima had a difficult time, moved to a special elementary school, and then transferred to this junior high school from the second year.
It’s not that he has no emotions at all. He understands joy, pain, sorrow, and anger from his childhood experiences.
However, he has no sense of shame and is completely unable to read the atmosphere.
“Hizaki, I’m here to pick you up. Hmm? What’s wrong with your face?”
“W-why are you in front of my house?!”
“No, that way I can spend more time with Hizaki. I can learn a lot from you.”
“W-Well that’s okay……”
“What can I say, Hizaki’s grades are terrible! This is a big deal. …… Okay, you can use my notes. I’ll have a set of questions for the test tomorrow.”
“Ugh, ……, oh, why do you have such good grades! I-I am as good as you in Japanese.”
“Fumu, can you tell me why this man risked his life to protect ……his love ? It would be interesting to see if he put his feelings and willpower ahead of his own interests.”
“Dojima! You’re talking too loud! This is a classroom, so let’s talk quietly.”
“How rude. – Then I will move a little closer—-“
“Hiyaa!? T-too close!”
It was a strange feeling.
When I am talking with Dojima, I can forget that my classmates are ignoring me. The empty and unpleasant feeling disappears.
It was the same when I received messages from my sister and brother.
Connecting with others keeps my mind steady.
In the morning, during recess, lunchtime, and after school, I spend time with Dojima.
It’s a normal thing, but it seems to be a very important time for me.
I had forgotten that I was being ignored. I hadn’t been watching my classmates. That’s why it never occurred to me to involve with Dojima—