Translated and Edited by: luccayn.
-san: A polite suffix, but not excessively formal.
-kun: A common suffix among friends and younger people.
-chan: A common suffix among people you’re close with, mostly used for feminine nicknames and girls, since it’s cutesy and childlike.
-senpai: A common suffix and noun used to address or refer to one’s older or more senior colleagues in a school, workplace, dojo, or sports club.
People can push through things in desperate times. I thought so as I finished putting away the mess my sister made and scrambled to get ready for work. Incidentally, there was a bit of intact food which I wrapped in plastic and stored in the refrigerator. It would be a waste otherwise.
Let’s just chill and have dinner… Oh, no. I don’t have enough time for that. Realizing so, switched from my drenched jersey into one of my suits. I would wash the soup off the dirty uniform but work hours were nigh, so nope. Instead, I just put my dirty laundry inside my own room, because mixing what was mine with what was theirs causes nothing but problems.
It smells, but that’s fine. I can just wash them when I get home. Nodding to my own choices, I doused my sticky hair with water and dried it as fast as I could. To keep it a hundred, I’m a bit of a slacker when it comes to appearance, so I just ran my fingers through my hair a handful of times, locked the front door, and left the house.
The area where I live is heavily populated with a mix of shopping areas and many subdivisions. For example, the morning rush hour has the streets filled with women, and that number only increased the closer I got to the station.
…And I felt my mind slowly drown in mud, depressed. There are many people out there that don’t like crowds, I’m sure, but it’s just that; they don’t like it. In my case, it’s not that I don’t like being surrounded by people.
I just feel like throwing up, is all. The only words that run through my mind are, I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go through this.
I mean, it’s life-threatening.
Trying to “tip my toes in the water,” I shifted my gaze to the woman walking next to me. Our eyes met, and she felt visibly awkward, going as far as to look the other way. I noticed that.
Not standing it anymore, I turned to face straight ahead of me, to which a woman walking in front shot me a quick glance just to look ahead once more. I noticed that too.
No one was an exception; young or old, all women had their eyes on me, which wasn’t good in the slightest. All their gazes were unfriendly to say the least. Their eyes landed on me and I could almost see dirt reflected on them for that was how they saw me as. To them, I was but trash.
Oh? I noticed them clicking their tongues in annoyance. If I stay here any longer, I might go through more than just a visible show of disgust. As if to show my gut was right, I could already see some of them walking toward me.
What are they going to do? Bob their fingers? Lynch me? No, I won’t let them.
Hiding my face, I bolted to the station. The women there noticed a weird blur passing by, but the ones from back there did not. As long as I hid in the crowd, I could get away from it all. Cutting through the masses, I managed to get to where I was headed.
Due to me having counted the money exactly the day before, I got my ticket as quickly as I could; about thirty seconds, not enough for any woman to notice I was even there, to begin with. I mean, how could they with my face covered?
I took the slip of paper and went to the gates. I wish I could use electronic money instead of buying everything with cash, but… I can’t even begin with how many times I was rejected a card. No matter how much I tried, I was never approved.
Apparently, my form was always incomplete, and they sent every single letter back to me, corrected ones included. Checking, checking, and checking did nothing to help me find any flaw. The cherry on top was that when I tried to contact the people at the counter there. All I ever got was salty responses.
I’ll never forget what she told me then, “This is the first time I’ve ever met a customer with this shitty of a Japanese,” she said while chuckling.
…It broke my heart.
Well, it was my fault for not understanding what they wanted. It was my fault. Still, thanks to that, I still don’t have any kind of card, debit or credit. I’m 20 years old now, but I still only use cash.
Drowning in thoughts like these, I arrived at the platform in a sour mood. The timing was just perfect and I hopped on the train that had just arrived. It was one of those “men-only convoys.”
I felt safe then.
Since I saw no other soul inside that train, I sat down comfortably on a random seat. It was surprisingly cushioned. Letting a sigh of relief part my lips, I looked out the window to see a group of women with devilishly evil faces standing there, frustrated because they couldn’t get in. Some even banged on the windows.
I wonder how many of them are out there… Thirty, maybe?
Whenever one is truly scared, they let out weird high-pitched noises. In fact, I just did.
My mornings are always tough.
As I let my eyes meander out at the blurring cityscape, I felt this arid sadness swelling from the bottom of my chest. There is not a single day in my life that I don’t think, “Am I in danger?”
Why do women hate me so much?
It’s even to the point of hurting my parents, and all I can do is ask myself why. I really don’t understand the reasoning for their hatred. Actually, I’ve done everything I could to avoid being abominated in my own way, but I’m twenty years old now and I can’t even hold a conversation with any of them. On the contrary, for the past two years of my life, I have started to be subjected to extreme violence.
If there was any other guy in the same situation as me, I’d be convinced it was a man-woman issue… but it wasn’t. Any other dude that isn’t me is extremely popular. It doesn’t even matter what they look like, or how foul their personalities are. Just being a man is enough to make them wanted by those around them.
But why though? Well, I personally can barely understand it due to my situation, but I know the facts. The male-to-female ratio in this country is extremely skewed to one side, so there were way more girls around… What was the percentage again?
No matter, it could be visibly seen outside. The streets were filled with women, so I barely saw any men outside. Due to their rarity, women are generally kinder to guys. For the rare, it was natural to be pampered, though some women were just overly devoted.
In fact, it is said that it’s common for men to be supported financially by women, which only makes my situation all the stranger. It’s unthinkable, even. Why am I so hated in this country where any other guy is treated well? Some even called this place an Elysium, a paradise for men.
So, was I some terrible criminal in a past life or something? I felt like I was carrying a truckload of karma on my back.
As I watched the buildings pass by, I shifted my gaze to see my reflection in the glass… Was I just that ugly then? I mean, my features were rather neutral, so if I grew my hair long, I could pass by as a woman. Actually, even though I cut my hair short, I still get confused as a woman sometimes.
I’ve never seen any other guy with such features in my life, so I guess that could be a reason I was so weird to women.
“You’re too feminine! Gross!”
“It’s disgusting to see you not be masculine. Eat meat. Meat!”
I’ve been told that before. Truth be told, I was so abused I changed my whole hairstyle and worked out. To which I was told:
“Ugh, seeing your face with your muscles is just foul!”
“I’m offended by your very existence! Get out of my sight!”
“…I hope you die.”
What the hell is wrong with everyone? Is there a single girl out there who will treat me normally…? I’d love to have a simple conversation. That’s all I ask for.
“Haah…” As I let out another sigh, I arrived at the station I was going to.
Okay, let’s switch it up. If something can’t be solved by thinking about it, just don’t. The shortcut to happiness is to find the little things in life that make you happy. For example, the weather today is very nice! That alone will restore my mood.
I feel a bit better.
Now, let’s go to my company.
Thank you for reading! Feel free to comment your opinions below!
Also, if you enjoyed my translation and would like to feed my caffeine addiction, click on the button below and graciously give me my fix—I mean, a cup of coffee.