I came home and tried to go back to my room without saying I was home.
I wanted to be alone for now.
But my sister started to talk to me.
What the hell, I’m tired.
As expected, my voice was laced with a grumpy tone.
“No, it’s nothing,”
“Oh, I see.”
I said and went to my room.
My mind was a bit foggy.
When I returned to my room, I lay down on my bed.
And I was thinking about today.
The faces of the classmates, the bewildered look of the committee chairman, Shiraki’s grief-stricken and distorted face, Himari’s sad and tearful face.
It’s not my fault, right?
I thought to myself.
A knock on the door of my room.
I put my hand on the door and open it, holding back my lethargy.
There’s my sister.
“Can you… let me in?”
“Ha? I’m good right here.”
Why did she have to come all the way into my room?
My room is not particularly interesting.
It’s a simple room with a bed and a study desk.
“Come on now.”
My sister came into my room halfway forcefully.
She sat down on my bed.
I sigh a little and ask her a question.
“So? What do you want?”
“You really don’t know why it was wrong for you to do that?”
“I don’t get it. I’m just a victim, am I not?”
When I said that, my sister made a sad face.
What’s with that face?
Then tell me what went wrong.
I was already desperate.
Everyone just said it was my fault and wouldn’t give me any explanation.
Why should I be the only one to blame?
It was natural for me to feel this way.
“All right. I’ll explain it to you, so listen carefully.”
She slowly opened her mouth and began to explain.
“First of all, how did you feel when Shiraki-san told you that she was lying?”
As soon as she said that, the pain of being dumped came back to my chest.
It was throbbing and I could vividly remember that moment.
“Why the hell should I say that to you?”
I had no desire to be reminded of that if I could help it.
“Just answer me.”
She looked at me squarely in the eyes.
Then I slowly opened my mouth.
“Oh, I think I was angry at them, because I thought what they did was a trampling on people’s feelings, and that it was okay to do whatever you wanted as long as you were having fun.”
“That’s what people usually think, right? And what about what you did?”
I look back at my actions.
Maybe I already knew what I was doing in my head.
I knew in my head that what I was doing was the same as Shiraki and the others, trampling on people’s feelings and doing whatever I wanted as long as I was having fun.
In fact, I was enjoying my revenge against Shiraki and her friends.
Isn’t what I did to Shiraki-san the same as what they did to me?
I was silent.
I thought my sister was right.
But I can’t admit that my sister is right.
If I admit it, I would admit that everything I had done was wrong.
That is why what I did was wrong.
She finishes her sentence.
I opened my mouth.
“Then why were you so dumbfounded with me?”
I spat out the words as if in agony.
“I was taken aback and hurt for no reason. Isn’t that an act of trampling on the feelings of the people you just mentioned?”
My sister looked troubled.
“Hey, tell me. Why were you so dumbfounded with me?”
“…..I can’t tell you that.”
“Haa? Then whose mouth can tell me that? You were the one who was dumbfounded, weren’t you?”
“I’m sorry, but I really can’t say.”
Explain why before apologizing.
I’m not going to talk to this person anymore.
I decide to do so and kick my sister out of the room.
“Hey, wait, Yusei! Open the door!”
I lock the door and fall back onto the bed.
My sister banged on the door and told me to open it.
Naturally, I didn’t listen to her.
After a few minutes, she gave up and the door became quiet.
“What you did was also a betrayal of people’s feelings”
Her words stuck in my head and wouldn’t go away.
I can’t admit to that thought.
I don’t want to think that everything I’ve done is for nothing.
Today, more than ever, I don’t want to see my sister again.
I thought so, but living in the same house, I see her even if I don’t want to.
My parents were often away for work, and it was not unusual for them to be gone for days at a time.
So today, my sister and I were alone at the dinner table.
The menu for the day was a simple Japanese dinner of white rice, miso soup, and salmon.
“Hey, Yusei. About the question you just asked me…”
My sister started.
“I can’t give you an answer, but I do know that I made you feel uncomfortable. I mean, I really can’t say it with my own mouth, nonetheless.”
My sister’s face was dark as she said this.
“Besides, I can’t blame you for wanting revenge. I blamed you for it, as if you were the only one to blame. I want to apologize for that, too. I’m sorry.”
I was a little taken aback.
I said bluntly.
But I realized that deep down inside, I was probably a little happy.
I had never had anyone who cared about my heart before.
I felt as if my sister was the only one who cared for my heart.
It might have been my imagination.
“Hey, you, please don’t call me “you”. Call me “Nee-san” like you always do…”
“!!! Hey, wait!”
Mifuyu, my sister, turns red in the face and raises her voice.
What is it? Are you mad at me for calling you by your name?
“What is it?”
“D-Don’t do that…”
“Ha? I don’t care.”
Mifuyu’s face was red for a while.
I was holed up in my room, thinking about what had just happened.
Mifuyu’s words kept repeating in my head.
Since the day I had broadcasted the news, I had been blamed for everything.
But now, there was someone who had come to my heart and apologized to me.
I felt a little comforted by that fact.