Chapter 1: A happy ending no one has ever seen part 4

Translator: Soafp

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“Oi, oi, don’t look at me like I’m a ghost. No, it’s not unreasonable. Is that a normal reaction?”

　Hayama smiled self-deprecatingly to relieve my speechless nerves, quickly plucked the blank answer sheet from my hand, and with a faraway look in his eyes, began to speak.

“I wanted to go to Nankou, not Meio. I’ve been playing drums in a band since junior high school, and most of the other members are concentrated in Nanko. Unlike here, the free school culture suits me perfectly.”

Although the school’s academic performance is slightly lower than Minami High School (commonly known as Minami Nankou), the school is active in various club activities, both cultural and athletic, and every year some of its club activities participate in national tournaments.

Although the Meio side was unaware of it, for some reason the other side seemed to have an extraordinary rivalry with us.

“As you probably know, we have a big hospital” Hayama said.

“My father has a lot of money here and there, and he’s held a number of important positions in the city, such as “honorary chairman,” so he has a lot of power. And he wants me, his eldest son, to take over the hospital. Can you imagine?　I just started high school and I’ve already been accepted to a university’s medical school. Isn’t that amazing? For my father, it’s a piece of cake. He can even get one of his sons into medical school.”

I nodded my head and listened carefully, though I felt a bit uncomfortable at the mention of a world that I, as a commoner, had no connection to at all.

“You’d think that if you’ve already decided on a college, it doesn’t matter where you go to high school. But it doesn’t work that way, that’s the troublesome part. I heard that if I don’t go to medical school after graduating from Meio, things will go wrong in many ways after that. Anyway, so my life as a band member at Minami High School disappeared like a bubble.”

　So-called “adult circumstances”. Hayama smiles at the answer sheet and then resumes his story.

“Ever since I was a kid, my parents told me to become a doctor in the future, and I couldn’t even have a dream.

So I decided to do a little experiment in protest. That’s what this guy is. I actually wrote all the subjects of the entrance exam blank like this. It wasn’t like I made mistakes on purpose or circled “1” on everything. It’s beautiful.

　And the result —- well, the fact that I’m here now is all that matters. The day before the announcement of my acceptance, my father brought this to my room and said, “Don’t do anything stupid”. Haha. Isn’t that funny?　I’m at my wits’ end, I am not sure if I can handle it anymore.”

An undeniable backdoor admission through power. It was a shocking confession.

“I’ve been living a predetermined life where I can’t even fail high school, and I really don’t know. What is my life?　I wondered. That’s why I made a little attempt to get in touch with you. Perhaps, at the age of fifteen, Yusuke Kanzawa must be suffering from an affliction that is beyond my imagination. Now, let me ask you frankly. What do you think of my life like this?”

The playful Taiyo Hayama I saw in the classroom was no longer there. His eyes are sharp, and there is a certain strength in the way he speaks and the way he says things that frightens those who are listening.

　If I could, I would have avoided answering this question, as it would have been a heavy and troublesome one. But somehow, this man sees that I am not just an ordinary high school freshman. If I walk away without saying a word, it is obvious that things will get complicated later.

　Before I knew it, Hayama had set the pace and created an atmosphere in which I was not allowed to respond in a casual manner. Taiyo Hayama is a formidable man.

　I searched for words in my head.

“You don’t have to think too hard about such lofty matters, your life is rosy enough, isn’t it? You should be riding the rails to become a doctor, playing the drums, and enjoying your flowery high school life.”

“That kind of insurance is not my style of life. Besides, drumming is not for fun, it’s for real!”

　Hayama leaned forward and raised his voice. Something about what I said seemed to be bothering him. It’s a bit of a nuisance, but once the fuse is lit, it’s not going to go out that easily.

“It’s a clear violation of the school rules, but I actually work at a pub at night. The reason for that is to give me a small chance of going to college. As you can see, things are a little complicated for me, too.”

I regretted as I spoke, wondering what on earth I was confiding to a complete stranger, but I couldn’t back out now.

“So, back door or not, I envy you for being able to go to college. And moreover, medical school would never be within my reach because I would never be able to afford it.

　It may sound like I’m being cynical, but Hayama, you are the “winner”. If you ask me, not only college, but even beyond that is promised to you. You already have something that the “haves” like me can’t reach out and grab no matter how hard I try.

The “haves” have their own way of life. You could say it is a responsibility to the world as it is. There is nothing wrong with that. It will make you happy if you let things flow without thinking about it. Stay the same.”

In any case, Hayama confided in me something that he, too, would not have wanted to reveal so easily. His face was getting redder and redder.

“Stay like this?　Are you kidding me!　I don’t want to live like this anymore. I don’t want to be a doctor. I don’t even have to go to college. I didn’t even want to go to a college preparatory school!　I want to live more freely!　What is the responsibility of the “haves”!　I don’t give a sh*t!　I want to live as a drummer!　I mean it!　F*ck this life!　I’m ……I’m not a pawn in the Hayama family!”

I was surprised at Hayama’s explosive emotional outburst, but on the other hand, I felt anger welling up inside of me.

　I knew that for some reason neither of my parents were around, I could barely make it to high school, and college was a dream come true for me, so I could not understand even one percent of Hayama’s desire to pursue his dream of becoming a doctor.

　Especially, the field he wants to compete in is music.

I don’t know how good he is at it, but in any case, the world today is not so sweet that you can easily make a name for yourself with a single drum.

　If you’ve come this far, that’s fine. Let’s say what I want to say to the hilt.

“Hayama. You’re a lucky man, you know that? You can say you don’t want to be a pawn in the Hayama family that provides you with a comfortable life, you can reject those who come to you as not really your friends, and you can say you don’t want to go to high school or college, which you normally have to take an exam to get into.

　So you’re lost in life because you can’t pursue your dreams. But in the end, there is a way out, isn’t there? You’re still complaining, but when the drums don’t work out, you go back to the rails and become a doctor, right?　

You said something earlier about ‘I don’t like to live like I’m insured,’ right?　But in the end, you’re the one who’s complaining, and you’re carrying insurance for your future with that Hayama family. If you really don’t want to live a life of insurance, why don’t you just file a notice of withdrawal with the staff office right now, leave your house, and pursue the path of a drummer while working part-time? If you really want to do it, you can make it work. Then maybe you’ll understand a little more about the meaning of life.”

As a result of releasing the words that came to mind without any hesitation or pause, a strong feeling of regret rose up from the pit of my stomach like vomit. I had said too much.

　I was a bit too rough on him. I had only been talking to this man one-on-one for a few minutes, but what right did I have to be so harsh with him?

　A subtle silence, neither black nor white, passes over the rooftop at lunchtime. I can’t look directly into Hayama’s face because of the awkwardness.

“Hayama,” I muttered to myself. “I haven’t been in contact with people for a long time, and I’m just this kind of person. I can’t be your real friend, so please give up on me.”

　I quietly turned on my heel to go back to class.

　Then—-

“Nahahaha!”

　Hayama’s unexpected reaction made me stop and turn around. He had a smile on his face. It was an extremely happy, exquisite smile.

“You’re right. You have a point.”

　Hayama’s face looks clear as he says this. He came closer to me step by step and finally grabbed my hands firmly.

“I’m sorry for yelling and getting emotional. But this is what I’ve been looking for. I could say what I wanted to say, and there was frank and harsh criticism.

　Yusuke Kanzawa, you are still amazing. Normally, I wouldn’t be able to speak so harshly to someone I just met. You are crazy, in a good way. I was right. I’m sure of it. I feel like I can talk about a lot of things with you. Look, I’ve got goosebumps.”

　Hayama rolled up the right sleeve of his shirt and showed it to me. There were countless small protrusions sprouting on the blood-colored skin.

“Sadly, the people who rub up against me in the classroom are approaching me more for my influence than for me. So I can never talk like this.

　But you, Kanzawa, for better or worse, have no fear. If you think something is right, you have the courage to say it. You don’t seem to care if it’s taboo, or if it’s common knowledge, or whatnot. Anyway, I desperately wanted a friend like that.”

“What have you tried?”

　I get so pissed off thinking that all of this was just an act to guess my caliber.

“Haha, it’s not like that,” Hayama said, showing his white teeth. “Everything I said before was true. But to be honest, it was more of a test to see how you would come out. Look, I’m sure you’ll be leaving soon, so I need to get my negotiating counterpart to the table first.”

　There was not an ounce of the bewilderment on his face as if he had just lost his way.

“Now it’s your turn, Kanzawa.”

“Ha?”

Not understanding the meaning of Hayama’s words.

“Why is it that you have to avoid people so much or work for your college? Something happened in your past, right?　Talk to me.”

“Why is that so? You made me start talking on your own earlier.”

“Not so fast. Come on, come on.”

　Hayama said, posing like a boxer provoking his opponent. I was troubled as to whether or not I should tell this man about my difficulties, no matter how much I had learned about Hayama’s secret.

“I see…you don’t believe me huh”

　Saying this with a sigh, Hayama again put a blank answer sheet in my hand.

“I’ll give it to you. If I ever tell anyone your secret, feel free to make it public. After all, this is the biggest scandal since Meio High School was founded. I won’t even be able to stay in this town, let alone the high school.”

　Even if Hayama had betrayed me, I would not have been willing to go to such great lengths, but I could feel the earnestness of this man.

I was starting to think that maybe I could tell him everything. Perhaps it is one of his innate charms to make even a sceptic like me feel that way.

“I don’t want to put a gag order on you, but I’m just going to say this as a matter of courtesy. Don’t tell anyone ……, okay?”

Folding my arms, I looked at Hayama who nodded, and decided to tell him about the fate I’ve been carrying around.

That was a new experience for me.

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