Translated and Edited by: ynlucca.
“Hah… Yui, what do you want?”
“… I am not Yui.”
“Do you want to eat bread crumbs for dinner tonight?”
Oi, don’t apologize for using a voice changer.
“Haah, big bro… It’s not fun if you can see right through it!”
“There’s no way I wouldn’t recognize your voice, even if you used a voice changer.”
“Uwah, you siscon…”
“Be grateful you’re loved.”
After doing some light banter, I quickly got back to business.
“So, what do you want? And why did you this?”
“Don’t really want anything. I actually got inspired to do this by American spy dramas! They’re so fun, so I could lend them to you some time.”
“I see, well thank you… By the way, is the glare I’ve been getting while I was shopping yours?”
“Oh my God, you noticed that? I was watching you with a pair of binoculars from 500 meters away…”
“Why are you the way you are?”
“If you do it half-heartedly, they’ll easily find you.”
“That’s not important, big bro! What the hell are you doing right now? This is a one-in-a-million chance, so if you miss it now, you may never have it again!”
“Walking back home, shoulder to shoulder, dusk setting in, just the two of you — a great atmosphere. Confess your love to Shirayuki!”
“Haah… As I’ve said countless times before, I don’t have that kind of relationship with Shirayuki—”
A noisy flurry of voices interrupted me from behind.
“Heh, heh, heh! It’s fine, it’s just for a bit babe!”
I could see a group of ruffians trying to get involved with Shirayuki.
“I’m hanging up.”
“Shirayuki’s being harassed by strange people. It’s late, so go home as well.”
The call ended as I ran back to the park.
One, two, three, four, five… A bit much.
I have no choice but to go with ‘Plan A’ here. I gulped and coughed, changing my voice, then I interrupted them with an uncharacteristically cheery tone.
“Ah! You’re here, in a place like this?” I grabbed Shirayuki’s arm. “Sorry, sorry. Well then, if you’ll excuse me,” I tried getting out of there with her, but—
“Hey, stop right there bro. Where do you think you’re going without any permission, eh?”
The plan to use the flow to get her out of there quietly failed.
“What the f*ck are ya doin’, brat?”
“You this chick’s boyfriend?”
Yankees 1 and 2 sharpened their glares, and thrust their faces close to mine, trying to intimidate me.
Ew, too close, too close. Why are they getting so up in my face like that? Myopia?
“Um… I know her, okay? Could you give me a pass just this once?” I tried to ask as nicely as possible, but… It backfired.
“Just someone ya know? Don’t f*ck with me, dimwit!”
“Don’t get too carried away, bro, or you’ll get hurt, ya know?”
Yankee number 5, the boss-looking one, threatened me while shuffling his fists.
This guy’s doing something… Is it boxing? Mixed, maybe?
His moves exude experience. Yankees are Yankees, but this guy’s a really bothersome one.
“K-Kuzuhara-kun…” Shirayuki anxiously grabbed the hem of my shirt, looking straight into my eyes.
It can’t be helped then. Let’s go with Plan B. I’ll show you what I can do.
“Haah… Are you sure about this? If I get serious, you guys won’t get off without a few scratches, will you?”
The moment I say that they begin to laugh hysterically.
“Pfft, Heh… HAHAHAHA! This dude over there, look at what he’s spitting… ‘If I get serious’, he says!”
“Come here then, let’s see what you got! Show us your ‘serious’ mode!”
They won’t understand if I don’t show them, huh.
“Sh*t. I don’t have a choice, then,” I snap my neck and let out a big sigh.
“Somebody help me! Help me please!” I shouted as loud as I could, trying to get any help possible.
“Whaa—?” The Yankees all exclaimed.
After a brief second of silence, a couple of passersby turned their heads in our direction.
“Hey, did you hear someone calling out for help…?”
“Oh no, in that park… There’s a couple surrounded by delinquents…”
“Eh, maybe we should call the police?”
Probably, none of them would be able to help us. Even if they called the police, they wouldn’t get here in time.
But, this is fine. People who are doing bad things don’t like to be looked at, nor paid attention to.
“Shirayuki, come on! Let’s get outta here!”
I pulled her hand and started to run in the direction of the forming crowd.
“Ay, get back here!”
“Stop you f*cking idiot, not now!”
“Oh sh*t, they’re gonna call the cops!”
“That son of a b*tch! You’ve gotta be kidding me…”
While glaring at us in frustration, the Yankees fled to a random alleyway and disappeared.
What a great plan! It’s going really well!
I kept running through the crowd, still holding Shirayuki’s hand.
“Fuh… Shirayuki, you’re all over the place. You’re alright?”
“Y-Yeah… Just a bit surprised. Wasn’t expecting you to do that.”
“Are you disappointed?”
Yeah, what I did back there wasn’t manly or cool. In her eyes, I must’ve looked pathetic… But—
Shirayuki shook her head vehemently.
“No, it was very cool. Just… Fufu, a very Kuzuhara-kun way of winning!”
“Is that a compliment?”
“Eeh~ Of course!”
We laughed as I walked Shirayuki back to her residence.
“See you later.”
“Okay, see you tomorrow.”
We both gently waved to each other and parted ways.
Well, today had some very unexpected events, but everything went well. All that was left was to go home and prepare for my night job.
A disturbing voice echoed behind me. I turned around slowly, and surely—
“Heh, heh, heh~ Yo, bro, we meet again.”
“You were a real b*tch back then, you know?”
“We’ll be noticed here, so lend me yer arm.”
Yankees 1 through 5 were here. They were not your everyday Yankees, no. They were especially annoying, vindictive, and very stubborn.
“Hahah… Sorry, but I think you got the wrong guy.”
“Nah dude. Are any other eyes out there as dead as yours?”
“Heh, heh… You’re… right—!”
I ran away.
“Whoa! Not so fast, bro.”
—Aaand I’ve been spun around.
Surrounded by a bunch of Yankees, I was dragged into a nearby alleyway.
Oh, life is a B.
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