Chapter 28: Kuzuo Kuzuhara and Sou Abashiri
Translated and Edited by: ynlucca.
Shirayuki, Sakura, and I lined up in front of the meeting place. The one who created this whole issue was already there, and after seeing us and putting on a petty smile, he walked in our direction.
So this guy is Abashiri…
I recognized him immediately because his portrait was on the documents Shirayuki gave me.
Abashiri Sou’s short dark hair had a blue tint to it, and he had a good face. His nose was good, and his eyes strong. He also exuded confidence and composure.
“You did well in not running away! I admire your courage, Kuzuo Kuzuhara.”
Abashiri, clearly looking down at us, spreads his hands out with a big motion.
“Fufu~ There’s a lot of people, right? It’s an impeachment trial after all, so I thought everyone should see your miserable downfall!”
Apparently, this huge crowd was brought together by this guy on purpose to expose me… Yup, this guy has a great personality.
“Come on, Kuzuhara, it’s not going to get any more exciting if you just stay there silent! This trial is a show, after all! Say something funny to warm up the atmosphere, or something—Oh! Sorry, sorry, that’s a bit of a tall order for a gloomy guy like you, isn’t it?”
Abashiri stirred up the excitement there, and the crowd went wild.
“Guh… Well then, if you insist.”
“Oh? You’re actually saying something?”
“Your sister, Ruri Abashiri… Is she on an expedition to Aogiri Junior High today? That area isn’t safe. Also, be careful on your way back home. There are a lot of rotten-eyed men like me wandering in the streets.”
“Why are you saying my sister’s name… Wait, don’t tell me you’re taking her hostage?!”
“Don’t worry, this is just small talk. You feeling ‘warmed up’ yet?”
“Damn, you’ve gotta be kidding me… Tsk,” Abashiri wrinkled his brow and glared at me.
The next moment, Sakura shouted excitedly.
“Kuzuhara, what a dirty play you have made at the beginning of the match! A nasty verbal attack that will blow your opponent’s mind! If you say something like that with those rotten eyes of yours, it’ll sound like a threat! Um… Do you think he’s gonna do well, Shirayuki-san?”
“Well, Kuzuhara-kun is an expert in psychological warfare, and he’s smart and articulate. Above all, his methods are extremely insidious and nasty. It’s probably not a good idea to challenge him to a diss battle.”
As the dissing went on, Hitori-sensei came out of the school building and sat at the morning assembly table.
“Um, cough, cough! It’s time, now let’s begin with the impeachment trial!”
Her taut voice echoed throughout the schoolyard.
“This trial was initiated by Sou Abashiri, of Class 3 Year 2, and requested by the Election Committee with the signatures of one-third of the entire student body, a total of 115 signatures. The accused is Kuzuo Kuzuhara, from Class 1 Year 2, the current vice president of the Student Council. In regards to the rules of the impeachment trial, I hereby present a brief statement of the case!”
She then spoke briefly about the rules of the trial.
- It consisted of three different competitions, with the winner being the first to win two.
- The promoter chooses the first event, and the current student council officers choose the second event in which they excel.
- Only the final event will be decided by a strict drawing of lots.
It was nothing unusual, just a simple match of skill with a win-two-take-all kind of deal.
“We will now proceed with the first event. Now, Abashiri, choose the event you are best at.”
“Of course, I would like to say “400-meter run”, but that would be too immature of me… Hmm, let’s just say “handball throw” this time. We have all done it before in the new physical fitness test, and I can show off my superior athletic ability to all!”
“All right, all right. We will now conduct the first event, the handball throw!”
Then we moved on to the area the track team used for practice, the shot put area.
“Well then… I’ll go first, okay?”
“Fufu~ Well then, I’ll go all out.”
Abashiri gripped the handball and focused 100% of his concentration. With the right amount of buildup, he yeeted the ball with gusto.
His throw was at a perfect 45º angle, and the ball arched rapidly until it plopped onto the floor with a thump.
“—52 meters! (TL: Approx. 57 yards or 170 feet),” The staff announced loudly to the crowd.
“F—Fifty-two?! I’m on the ball-throw club, and I’m just shy of 40 meters!”
“Damn! Abashiri-kun, you have a really strong shoulder!”
“As expected of the vice president of the Extracurricular Activities Union! He’s a real powerhouse in all things athletic!”
Seeing the reaction of the onlookers, Abashiri smiled with satisfaction.
“Fufu~ It is what it is! Well then, it’s your turn, Kuzuhara! Do your best not to be laughed at by the audience~!”
I stood in the center of the circle, swinging my arms wide, and throwing with reasonable force.
The ball went pretty fast, soon dropping onto the floor with a respectable thwump.
“—32 meters! (TL: Approx. 35 yards or 104 feet),” The staff announced.
“Well… The winner of the first category is Sou Abashiri!”
Hitori-sensei announced her decision.
I quickly lost the first match to him, and it was 0-1 for me. If I lose the next game, he’ll be the vice-president. We were already pushed to the edge of a cliff.
“Hey! What’s up with that limp throw, huh? Put more energy into it!”
“Shut up. Spirit doesn’t increase strength.”
The average throw for boys was around 27 meters, so my 32 was a reasonably good result.
“Heh heh! You’ll end up being vice president for a very short amount of time, Kuzuhara. Well then, it’s your turn now. Don’t be shy~ Pick the sport you’re best at! (Brains, brawn, reflexes — This guy can’t beat me at anything!)”
“Got it. Well, for the second round, it’ll be—”
I raised my right arm.
“Um… why are you raising your hand?”
“R—Rock-paper-scissors?! (It’s insane to use your precious right to choose a game, only to choose a luck-based one! This guy… He’s not normal.)”
Abashiri froze for some reason.
Wow, could it be he doesn’t know the rules of rock-paper-scissors?
Thank you for reading! Feel free to comment your opinions below!
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11 comments »
some mobMarch 18, 2022 at 12:57 am
…………..Hmmmm……………Is he trying to win or is he trying to lose…………..i can’t tell at all………………
I mean, if he loses Shirayuki-chan is going to be awfully sad, not being able to deal with Sakura’s antics is a plus though, and the money of being in the student council job is a good source of income for him and his family.
Hmmm~~Oh!, i know, he is trying to win but he wants to utterly smack this ikemen down. So loses in the first one, wins the second one and since the gallery(jealous suckers and b*****s) chooses the last they will pick the event where the ikemen can’t lose and he will curbstomp him in front of everyone……….that sounds really nice and fitting for this “ikemen”….getting destroyed in his own expertise in front of everyone.
Let’s hope i’m right since it will be awfully difficult for him to raise money for his family unless he show off his own abilities and he doens’t want to(i’m kind of with him in that one, it actually brings a lot of headaches). Now he can show he is capable of being the vice-president without showing off his genius abilities, everyone just will think he fastes than the “ikemen”. Is a nice plan, especially the part about curbstomping the “ikemen”.
I really like it that he start with a “threat”, it reminded me of Leon(Mobuseka) when he isn’t being a typical j*p. MC.
GheistMarch 18, 2022 at 2:02 am
Yes and a kind of disrespect to the opponent to let it have a lucked-based instead if giving you a chance to win within your edge, what a madman.
AmplifityMarch 20, 2022 at 8:14 am
i see you’re a man of culture as well.
PukkMarch 18, 2022 at 1:32 am
AosoMarch 18, 2022 at 3:23 am
Challenging a god amongst men never ends well. This guy is deadass Ayanokouji without the whole lack of emotional knowledge/understanding. I’m looking forward to how this joke of a character will be stomped by our boi.
GattsMarch 18, 2022 at 3:36 am
Thank you for the chapter !
wtfchrlzMarch 20, 2022 at 4:48 pm
I know this is just some self insert nerd fantasy romcom, but it seems incredibly easy to force someone off the student council if you can challenge them to literally anything.
ynluccaMarch 20, 2022 at 4:51 pm
Yeah, the challenges are pretty stupid honestly
YameteSenpaiiMarch 23, 2022 at 10:32 pm
Why was sport even included included as a criteria for being a good Vice President? Sounds stupid smh. They should compete as intellectuals, not muscleheads.
ynluccaMarch 23, 2022 at 10:36 pm
I agree 100%
Chapter 27: Animosity and Kuzuo Kuzuhara – Soafp TranslationApril 11, 2022 at 7:22 pm
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