Chapter 42: Will there ever be a day when I miss it?

Translator: Soafp

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“And? What do you think?”

“Sexy (Lol).”

“I’ll go with [goo].”

　The sun is shining, the waves are crashing, and my classmates are chasing each other on the beach. Why am I here?

“Let’s go play, Renya!”

　A few days after the incident at Kusunoki’s house, I was invited by Saijo. I was a little tired from the conversation with Ootsuki and the others, so I thought it would be a good distraction, so I just took my wallet and went to the beach.

　I only brought my wallet, okay? If we were going to the beach, just say so. I wouldn’t have come if I knew the destination was the ocean.

“Swimsuits are sold at the store over there. I’ll lend you some towels.”

“Well, it’s been a long time since I’ve been to the beach, so I would have had to buy a bathing suit anyway, but…”

I’ve been busy with club activities when I was in junior high school, so I haven’t been to the beach since I was in elementary school.

　Unlike women, men’s swimwear can be bought at any store. I bought one in a size that suited me, and quickly changed into it. It’s too hot to be in plain clothes.

“You have a nice body, Tsukiyomi-kun.”

“Really. You don’t look like a homecoming club member.”

“Wanna sleep together?”

　My body is probably a bit weak because I don’t exercise much now that I’m in the homecoming club, but I think the body I worked out in middle school is reasonably toned. But if I don’t exercise at this rate, will I start to lose weight? I wondered if I should at least go for a run.

　I don’t think I’ll ever do it. I don’t think I’ll even be a three-day monk. And who’s that last one?

　After that, we played in the ocean as usual. Nothing special, just swimming in the ocean, frolicking on the beach, and having lunch at a beach house. I wrote in my diary that we had fun at the beach, but I never thought we would actually go to the beach.

　So now I’m back in town, eating dinner at a random restaurant.

“That was fun!”

“We all got sunburned.”

“Really, we’re all got tans.”

My classmates are talking about their memories of today as they eat their respective orders. During my one and only summer vacation as a freshman in high school, I went to the beach with my classmates and had fun. It was a mundane, but definitely a page from my youth. Will there come a day when I’ll look back on this day with nostalgia?

“Seriously? Has Renya already finished his summer vacation project?”

“Seriously. I’m the kind of person who finishes long vacation assignments as soon as possible.”

　Everyone has already eaten the first thing they ordered, but they’re still relaxing while ordering more desserts and drinks. It seems that everyone is not planning to leave yet.

“So why don’t you finish your diary as well?”

“If that’s the case, how about writing the diary all together on the last day?”

“No, don’t.”

In the relaxed atmosphere, I talked with Saijo about trivial things. Since I became a high school student, I have been going out with someone and exchanging words with them more often. Ever since I was suspected of being a molester and saw the news, I thought I didn’t need to build trust with anyone. I still think so.

　I thought it was enough to just have a casual relationship. That’s what I thought, and my conversations were clerical and I read books all the time. I used to live like that, but lately I’ve been exchanging words with someone and going out more.

　What does this mean? Is it that I’ve simply bonded with them, or do I really want to be friends with them? Is this change a good thing or a bad thing? If I thought about it, there was no way I would know. As I abandoned my thoughts, I suddenly heard the sound of the TV playing the news.

“Suicide.”

“Why would he do that?”

　There were other people watching the TV as well. The news of suicide made me frown a little, but that was it. It’s not surprising. It’s not like anyone related to me committed suicide, and it’s not unusual in this country where tens of thousands of people commit suicide every year.

　I wouldn’t have thought anything of it either. Normally.

“What’s up, Renya?”

“……….”

　Saijo calls out to me, but my eyes remain fixed on the TV.

　It’s not a student who has been bullied or a businessman who is tired of life that committed suicide. I know it’s an unusual category, but if that’s all it is, I’ll forget about it tomorrow, and so will everyone else. But my eyes never left the TV.

“The suicide was committed by a former athlete…”

　The suicide was of a man who had once been in the news for having an affair, and who had made me decide to stop building trust with people.