Chapter 31: I don’t know
“We should get back to the others. We’ve been gone for quite a while.”
A good amount of time has passed since we said we would prepare tea. Well, the mood for studying wasn’t there anymore, so I guess it didn’t matter.
I went back to the living room with the tea and snacks.
“Oh, you’re back.”
Saijo and the others who had started up the game console called out to me. Didn’t they play yet?
I put the tea and snacks on the table, looking at the title screen sideways.
“Thank you, Renya. I’ll have some.”
Fujibayashi, who was putting away her study materials, came by and picked up a cup of tea. Even though a good amount of time had passed, there was little change from before Sasaki and I left the room.
“What have you been doing since we left the room?”
“Eh, w-we haven’t done anything yet.”
Why are you acting so suspicious there and not doing anything?
“But it looks like you haven’t cleaned up and you haven’t played your game yet.”
“Well, we had a dispute over what game to play.”
“Y-yes! We were all talking about what game to play.”
Saijo and Kinoshita said, but for some reason they seemed uncomfortable. They probably heard what Sasaki and I were talking.
But Sasaki’s voice was too loud for me. Of course they could hear us. There was no need to worry about it.
I don’t care if you can hear what I’m talking about. That’s why I don’t like it when people pay too much attention to me, but… well, that’s difficult, too.
I don’t know if they’re pretending not to listen, but I can’t help but sigh inwardly.
The world is critical of lying, but pretense, social etiquette, flattery, and jokes are just like lying, although they are said in different ways. It may be a polemic to say that they are the same as lies, but they are the same in the sense that we are not saying what we really think.
If you only say what you really think, the other person will not have a good feeling about you. That’s not how the world works. That is why we decorate our words with social graces and flattery. When you think about it, words are such flimsy things.
There are stories of people who are friendly with each other, but behind the scenes, they are talking behind their backs. Such stories can be found anywhere. Even if you are talking face to face, only you know what the other person is thinking inside.
I’m aware that I’m twisted, but it’s impossible for me to put all my trust in someone like a character in a story.
The world is full of lies, even for the sake of smooth relationships. I thought I’d gotten over it, but it seems I’m still reeling from the fact that my childhood friends used to say they believed me, but secretly doubted me.
I’m not going to blame them, because I’m not a person who doesn’t tell lies at all. In fact, I don’t think there is anyone who doesn’t tell lies.
“I had fun today.”
“I made progress in my studies!”
” Didn’t you just play in the second half…”
“We studied hard in the first half, and there’s still time before the test, so we should be fine.”
“Can we have another study session?”
“We’ll do it when we get the chance.”
“Come again, everyone.”
“Thanks for today.”
“See you at school.”
I don’t know if this conversation is sincere or just a formality.
5 comments »
curz0January 17, 2022 at 3:26 am
Thanks for the chapter!
GattsJanuary 17, 2022 at 7:28 am
Thank you for the chapter !
denkerbosuMay 30, 2022 at 11:41 am
That last one sentence hit hard.
denkerbosuMay 30, 2022 at 5:41 pm
That last one sentence hit hard.
Wolfrage76June 10, 2023 at 10:17 am
Yep. Nothing but formality if Ya asking Me