Chapter 47: Older brother and younger sister

Translator:Soafp

---

She put her luggage away lightly and her wet clothes away briefly so that she could talk calmly.

　In the meantime, I was ready.

….Fue, okay.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“No problem.”

　I had to wait a bit, but Haruka had not yet broken her seiza.

“Uhm,……, your legs aren’t numb?”

“No…… I’m fine.”

I’m sitting on the floor as it is, and my legs are gonna be sore for sure. Ah …… I should have bought the cushion that Miyamoto-san recommended to me the other day. ……

I thought if the person I was talking to was sitting on the floor, I might as well do the same, so I sat on the floor, but she stopped me and said, “Ah, no, Onii-chan……..”. To make it sound so serious, I wonder if this is, after all, last year’s story.

If that’s the case, I think I should sit in seiza too, but I was stopped, so I sat down with a cross-legged for the time being.

　Then, after taking a deep, shuddering breath, Haruka began to speak.

“Onii-chan”

“….. yeah.”

“…… the other day, I went into your room.”

“…… hmm?”

Eh? Room?

“Well, you know, …… I was reading your diary for a bit………..”

…Haa?

“Eh…. ……..EEH?!”

“Really, just a little bit, about two pages. …… Well, I’m sorry. ……”

Eh, a diary? No, you read it. …… No, don’t read other people’s diaries. No way it could have happened that you just caught a glimpse of it, and you definitely went to read it yourself.

I mean, which part did you read?

…… No, I think it’s normal, I think she read somewhere after the summer vacation. …… And the diary before that day was a very normal diary.

　The worst part of that diary. It is where the messed up feelings of those days were spewed out. I don’t remember the details, but I think I wrote about my family.

　Eeh………

I think she saw the thing I didn’t want her to see the most. No, it’s my fault for leaving such things at my parents’ house. That said, don’t read people’s diaries. ……

　I knew I had to talk to my family about it, but I didn’t want to blurt out such ugly details. Maybe Haruka would have seen it and regretted it.

“……”

“……”

“I’m sorry. ……”

“Yeah, no, well, ……”

“Well, and, ……, I’m sorry I said those horrible things that time.”

“…….”

　Haruka uttered an apology in a trembling voice.

　……I knew we were going to talk about that time,…….

　I think it would be right for me to say, “It’s okay” or “It’s past and I don’t care.” If the sister apologized, the brother would laugh and forgive. But those words never came out.

　The hazy feeling that arose in my chest prevented me from uttering those words.

　After Haruka threw her words of apology, I fell silent for a while.

“I’m really sorry.”

“……”

“I’m really sorry….. for hurting you and …… saying you’re the worst.”

“…… Did you really think I would do something like that?”

Those were the words that came out of my mouth.

　Asking such a question would not help me. Even though I knew that, I couldn’t help but ask. I knew that asking such a question would only cause me to get hurt again, depending on the response I got.

　But the question I couldn’t say at the time naturally came out of my mouth.

“Uu……, I felt like I had found …… Onii-chan had a weakness, that you sometimes do bad things and don’t apologize when you get into a fight, …… and that, you know, at that time, I was rebellious or something like that. ……. Now, I’m thinking that Onii-chan would never do such a thing,……”

　The reply was nasal from the beginning, and the last part was spoken in full tears.

In the beginning, it felt like she was the one who wanted to cry. That mood slowly faded as Haruka’s story became uncomfortable.

“….. fight?”

“Eh?”

Junior high school, the one incident. Even though the “bad thing” is not true, it was done, and I actually feel a little guilty towards Ryosuke. I certainly didn’t apologize for ‘not apologizing.’ I didn’t think I needed to apologize for a crime I didn’t commit.

But I didn’t have a ‘fight’, nor did I ever have one.

Perhaps if I had been in a more relaxed state of mind, I would have noticed this. Had I returned straight from my parents’ house and been in the situation I am in now, I would probably have tried to get Haruka to leave by now.

Thinking back, that day Haruka said, “I heard from Sumika-chan,” before she said, ” You’re the lowest, Onii-chan”

“……What did you hear from Sumika about last year?”

“Eh?…..Uhm ……That Onii-chan got into a fight with a friend, and even though it was definitely your fault, you didn’t apologize. …… Then, she told me that you were being bullied at school. At that time, I was really out of my mind. ……”

　…… Well, it’s not something you can blabber to a first grader. Sumika would have thought of Haruka as a younger sister. So you really …… only read two pages of the diary? And in those two pages, there was no mention of what happened between me and Ryosuke.

　…… I see… …….

“Ha, haha …….”

“……?”

　The unexpected fact made me laugh.

If Sumika had told Haruka the same story as my parents, I wonder if that, “there is no way I would do that” would have won out. …… No, there is no point in thinking about something that hasn’t happened.

　…… I’ve got to do right.

“Haruka.”

“U…….”

“Well…… you shouldn’t say that you are the worst to people. It’s hurtful.”

　When I said this, Haruka looked surprised and confused.

“Also, you know, and just so you know, no matter what the reason is, bullying not good.”

“Yes….”

　Haruka replied in growing confusion.

　Oh, yes.

“And, …… me too, I’m sorry.”

“D-don’t be, there’s nothing for Onii-chan to apologize for,…….”

“No, there was something I could have done.”

“…….”

　Haruka shakes her head.

　And then there was the sound of Haruka sniffing for a while, but it echoed around the room.

“Haruka.”

“W-What?”

　I called out to Haruka, whose tears seemed to have receded. It’s been this complicated for a long time. I thought that some kind of ritual was needed.

“Handshake. To make up.”

“Eh …….”

　The tears that should have stopped began to trickle from Haruka’s eyes as she said this while holding out her hand.

“Can you forgive me,……?”

“I forgive you, and if you forgive me, too, Haruka, let’s shake hands.

Haruka grabbed my right hand with both hands with great force.

　I’ve been through a lot on my end, but what …… Haruka did was just a rebellious little sister lashing out at her brother. It was just bad timing in so many ways. Given all that, there’s no reason for me not to forgive Haruka. If she apologized, it would be a normal thing to forgive her. Well, if you’ve heard that I’m being bullied, I’d like you to think about it for a minute.

I don’t need to tell her the truth……

　I don’t want my sister to hear that story, and somewhere …… I’m thinking that she won’t believe me.

　But I think that someday, if not right away, we can be brother and sister again, like we used to be, I thought as I held Haruka’s hand.

---