TL: This chapter is Miyu’s PoV
Miyu wanted to be pampered by everyone.
I hated herself for being so plain in junior high school. I hated my glasses.
“—You used to be prettier in the past, Saito-san…… “
With those words, I couldn’t move from the classroom.
A shock ran through my body.
I’m much prettier than I used to be…….
I stand there alone, staring at the entrance to the classroom.
An unfamiliar feeling swirls around me. I feel sick.
I didn’t want to get on the wrong side of you either,…….
……I was happy to be in the same class as you in high school. Makoto-kun usually has a gloomy face, but the smile he sometimes shows is very nice.
I was right about that.
An astute girl had already confessed her feelings for the high-spec boy, Makoto-kun.
……I felt …… disgusted deep in my chest. Makoto-kun, even though …… I was the first to become friends with him.
Where the hell did I go wrong?
In junior high school, I was happy to spend time with Makoto-kun in the library.
Maybe he was dragging out the rumors from elementary school, but Makoto-kun didn’t have any friends.
He looked simple, but he had a very beautiful face.
When he talked, he was cheerful and very funny.
Going to the library was something I looked forward to every day.
At the time, I had dorky glasses, a long skirt, and weird pigtails.
I was called ugly behind my back, but Makoto-kun was very kind to me.
It happened suddenly. Just as I thought the earthquake had stopped, Makoto-kun came at me.
I was in a state of panic as he leaned over me as if he was going to fall on top of me. I was so scared at that time ……, no matter how good a friend we were, in the presence of so many students …….
After a while, Makoto-kun got up slowly.
I was in a daze.
His complexion was ashen and blood was flowing from his head. The next thing I knew, the students around me were attacking him.
And …… everyone was worried about me.
“‘Are you okay? Saito-san.”
“Let’s go to the infirmary.”
“Are you hurt? Do you want some water? Did he touch you in any weird way?”
As a shy person, I couldn’t reply well.
“Eh, uh, yeah …. I’m okay … well, Makoto-kun is injured–oh, my glasses, glasses …”
The temperature of the students dropped.
I can tell even without my glasses. I was afraid of that atmosphere.
“You can’t just leave that guy alone. …… glasses …… Huh? Are you really Saito?”
“That’s right. He can’t just attack you out of the blue.”
“I’ll go to the infirmary with you.”
“Heh~, you’re even cuter without your glasses.”
All the students were worried about me.
I was like a character in a novel. They all pampered me and took good care of me.
It was very new to me and made me happy.
That’s why I failed to ask about the meaning of Makoto-kun’s actions. …… In my head, I understand that the gentle Makoto-kun would never attack me. But ……
Makoto-kun refutes the students’ accusations with no effort, but there is no light in his eyes.
There is a bad rumor about him. When he was in elementary school, he assaulted a girl and injured her. …… There are many more. I never believed those rumors, but–
I know because I am plain. If I take Makoto’s side here and now,……
I would be a woman who can’t read the air and I would be attacked too.
–Don’t worry, I’m sure there will be a chance to talk to Makoto-kun later.
That’s why I was carried away by my surroundings.
In the end, I never had a chance to talk to him until I graduated.……
After that incident, I was reborn and enjoyed my school life.
The incident that Makoto-kun attacked me faded into the corner of my mind.
I also made female friends who were in the top caste in my class. I learned to wear makeup and dress up.
Everyone told me I was cute. Hearing those words lifted my spirits. I even got my first confession, which I turned down because I wasn’t as cool as Makoto-kun.
Everyone pampered me.
I didn’t want to go back to being the plain girl in the library.
After the graduation ceremony, a plain girl came to talk to me. She was just like the old me.
‘Saito-san, I can tell you now that ……. At that time …… Makoto-kun was injured defending you and ……, no, I’m sorry. At that time, I was afraid of the air around me, so I couldn’t say anything……”
She just said it and ran off.
At first I couldn’t understand what she was talking about.
Gradually, it penetrated into my mind.
I could understand it in my head, but …… it’s too late now ……. My days with Makoto-kun……
At that time, Makoto-kun passed in front of me.
He didn’t look at me at all. His gaze was only forward.
When I saw him, all my memories of the library came flooding back.
It was a calm, gentle space that was very …… fun and made my heart pound …….
“Heey, Miyu! Let’s hurry up and go to the launch!”
A friend from the girl’s group was calling me from afar.
I never hate them. …… But there’s something different about …… that time. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve never had a good time. My female friends were all selfish.
On the surface, they are friendly with each other, but when they are not with their friends, they talk behind their backs.
It was a very troublesome world I had entered.
“Why …… did …… Miyu give …… Makoto-kun–“
Regret came rushing in. Why didn’t I talk to you right away,……, you idiot? I …….
I’m not going to try to find out the truth, I’m going to let it wash over me – and enjoy it.
He was protecting me.
I could see Makoto’s face in my mind, bleeding from his head.
At that moment, I understood. This throbbing in my chest was …… my first love.
I followed him with my eyes.
He was about to leave the school alone. Where are your parents? What about your sister? Why are you alone?
“-Ma-Makoto -kun!! Wait!!”
Makoto-kun must have heard my voice. But he didn’t turn around.
“Miyu, you’re late! Hurry up!”
The only thing I can hear is the frustrated voice of my friend.
–Yes, we go to the same high school, so there is a chance to apologize, right? …… Don’t worry, I won’t make a mistake next time.
“I’m sorry, I’ll be there in a minute!!
I headed over to my group of friends.
“I was super wrong from the beginning ……, Miyu’s super stupid …….”
When I was in the same class as Makoto-kun, he wouldn’t even look at me.
I wanted him to see me as a beautiful girl.
After the incident with me, I heard all sorts of bad rumors, but I didn’t believe them.
I mustered up the courage to talk to him, and he smiled at me.
I was so excited by that.
I thought it was strange that he used honorifics.
When I got carried away and spoke in a rambling manner – his smile seemed to get stronger.
I was impatient to see if I had offended him in any way.
I wanted to apologize, but I was too impatient to say anything else.
I couldn’t stop talking. I didn’t want him to hate me.
I wanted to be friends with him.
Suddenly, I realized that Makoto-kun was smiling, but he wasn’t smiling.
I couldn’t feel the gentle air. I couldn’t feel any emotion. He was not looking at me at all.
When we talked earlier, I was strongly convinced.
–I was convinced that he had gone —-crazy because of me.
I wanted to apologize. I wanted to tell him that I believed in him.
“Of course it’s Miyu’s fault I’m really stupid. ……”
The entrance to the classroom I was staring at was empty.
What if I had listened to Makoto right then and there?
What if I hadn’t been so distraught?
What if I had believed you?
What if I hadn’t distanced myself from you?
What if I had– what if I had confessed properly?
“Higu … I know …, Higu … I was wrong … I was scared and could only tell a joke …”
You really are an idiot. I even prepared my glasses because I thought it would make Makoto-kun happy …….
The regret, the emotions, they come in waves.
I can’t stop what’s coming up. I can’t stop crying.
” Makoto-kun ……. I’m sorry ……, I’m sorry ……, I’m really sorry.”
I repeat the words like a broken machine.
I can’t go back to a broken relationship.
I can’t erase a broken past.
Makoto, your scars will never go away.
The days will never be the same again.
I’m sure that Makoto-kun will never forgive me.
I even apologized at the wrong time…….
–If I try to go back to the same relationship now, it will be too late. …..
I realized that for the first time while I was crying–