Chapter 6: I’m really a big idiot.

Translator: Soafp

TL: Merry Christmas everyone!

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[Haruka PoV]

Without any purpose, I found myself in my third year of college. If things go in normal order, I will graduate and get a job. I would probably end up working for Narimiya’s affiliated company somewhere…

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“Haruka, sit down. I have an offer for you.”

“…… Wait, wait, Dad! You promised me until I get out of college!”

“If you were going to be with Toki, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“……”

“I know. You haven’t seen him in three years.”

“……”

“I asked your mother a question. Seiji didn’t tell me anything.”

“……”

“…meet with all of them and choose one of them. All of them are sons of companies related to Narimiya.”

“……No”

“What?”

“I don’t like it… absolutely no way!”

“Haruka!”

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Seiji Asaba. Toki-kun’s father. I have known Toki’s father since I was a little girl. Three years ago, after that day, we never spoke.

I was afraid of being confronted with my sins again. I just ran away.

Every time I thought about Toki-kun, I became bitter and hard. And I was running away to other men.

But nothing changed.

Toki-kun left and I ran away. That means we would never be able to see each other again. It was a simple logic. The offer of marriage came, and I was determined to do it.

I was rejected, I lost confidence, I slept with Kurosaki-kun, Toki-kun told me he was leaving me, and then I ran away.

I have never been able to apologize or make amends. In the end, I’m still the same as I was on the day I graduated from high school. No, since the summer of my second year of high school.

I’ve been living day by day, drifting away, trying not to see it.

I don’t care if I am rejected. It’s okay to be ignored. I don’t care if people hate me more.

It may be annoying, but I want to see Toki-kun again ……. And I want to apologize to him as much as I can.

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“Please, Seiji! I really, really want to see Toki-kun. I want to atone my sins! I want to apologize…please…”

“……Every human being makes mistakes. It’s okay to be sorry. But isn’t that just you wanting to feel better?”

“……I won’t deny it……but I just want to see him again and apologize as much as I can…….”

“…… Okay. …I’ll tell you where he is. But I want you to only apologize to Toki. That is my condition. Toki probably doesn’t want you to apologize. ………Akira has told me what you’re struggling with. The same goes for Suwako. Since he was a little boy he……… No, let’s leave it at that. He is my most precious son. Please.”

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The town I was told about was located between the mountains and the sea. It was a town far from my hometown. The train station in the town was far from the center of the city.

He seemed to live in an apartment about five minutes from here. The only thing he told me was when he was coming home from his part-time job.

“Ah ……”

The person who got off the train was Toki-kun. Yes, it’s Toki-kun.

I really like him.

I don’t think I can just apologize. I’d like to talk with him. I want him to look at me again with his kind eyes.

I was about to run up to him on impulse when I saw a woman hugging Toki-kun’s arm.

“…Ah”

They left the station as it was. Probably heading for their apartment.

I couldn’t think of anything else and found myself following them. After checking that they were both entering an old apartment, I quietly approached.

I could see inside through a small gap in the window.

“Ha, haha.”

They embraced and began to have sex quietly. A dry little laugh escaped his mouth a little.

This is no good. I left the scene, clutching my shaking body.

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I was lying on my back in a daze on the bed of the hotel where I was staying, not doing anything.

Toki-kun’s girlfriend, maybe…

The person I love embraces a woman who is different from me, looking straight into her eyes. I never thought I would be so heartbroken.

It wasn’t real at all, either heard in stories or said in words. It wasn’t that simple. I can’t believe I’ve been showing this stuff to Toki for a year …… and in an even worse manner ……….

“Oueee, geeeeooooeee”

I don’t know how many times I’ve cried and vomited.

I know I don’t have the right to cry.

But then I found myself wondering what it was that had made him reject me so much, or that he didn’t like me or anything after all.

I blamed Toki-kun in my head.

Even though I was the one who betrayed him in the first place.

“I’m really a big idiot.”