Chapter 11: Feelings I’ve been holding back.
Translated and Edited by: ynlucca.
Common Honorifics:
-san: A polite suffix, but not excessively formal.
-kun: A common suffix among friends and younger people.
-chan: A common suffix among people you’re close with, mostly used for feminine nicknames and girls, since it’s cutesy and childlike.
-senpai: A common suffix and noun used to address or refer to one’s older or more senior colleagues in a school, workplace, dojo, or sports club.
It was a day like any other.
They treated me like I was some sort of tumor, as always. As soon as I stepped inside, everyone else stopped talking for a moment. Regardless, I didn’t pay attention to it and walked to my seat, the second last by the window. As I made my way there, I take a look at Hinata, who sat right behind me.
His eyes were glued to Ichinose as she was surrounded by her peers, and even though his eyes were for someone else, mine were for him. That’s all I can do for now, for the space beside him is his childhood friend’s. I take my seat with a tinge of loneliness, as usual.
“Good morning,” I glanced behind to look at the voice’s owner. Hinata was looking at me.
“…Morning,” since I was a bit anxious, my voice left kind of raspy.
He’s always been like this. Opposite from others, he always greeted even this tumor called Kuraki; today wasn’t the first time. He always does it, but whenever it’s my turn to talk, I get nervous.
As I kept hating myself over my curt answer, I notice him looking outside with somewhat of a satisfied expression on his face. Tempted, I did the same thing. Just by doing so, I felt a sense of closeness with him, even though we weren’t dating or anything of that matter. And it made me happy.
After that, the day went on as usual. Hinata was close to Ichinose as usual, and I was just an observer. However, it all changed after school.
“Is Ichinose-san here?” Someone walked inside the classroom.
I think he was from the baseball team or something, and he’s in the class right next to ours. Well, I know next to nothing about him since I’m not interested, but I’ve heard the rumors about him being handsome.
“Ah, Taginuchi-kun. What’s wrong?” Ichinose answered.
“Oh, good, you’re still here. If you want to, I’d like to go out with you for a while after this.”
“Is it something you can’t say here?”
“Yeah. If it’s not too much trouble for you, could you come with me?”
“…Okay, sure,” she accepted. “Sorry, Hinata. Today’s a no-no for me, you can go on first.”
“…No… problem. I’m off,” said Hinata.
Then Ichinose was taken outside by a boy from the next class, and as soon as they stepped out, everyone else began buzzing. They called them a beautiful pair, the best couple in school, and even said that Hinata was just a childhood friend, nothing else. So on and so forth.
While everyone else yapped and yapped, I just watched Hinata absentmindedly. Quietly slipping out of the noisy circle of people, he stepped outside and left.
Looking through the window, I see him staggering down the street. It must’ve been quite a shock as his eyes darted around the place, unsteady and dizzy, and he could barely walk straight.
As our classmates talked, Ichinose was called away, no doubt for a confession. I can tell just by looking that he’s interested in her, and well, Ichinose is extremely popular, and she’s even received many confessions in the past.
However, for Hinata, the one thing that was different from the countless times she’s been confessed to was her expression. Unlike every other time it happened, she didn’t make an annoyed face. Instead, her expression exuded happiness. I thought the reason why she always took down any confession was him, but that might’ve been wrong.
Putting my thoughts in order, I hurriedly packed my bags and left the classroom tailing right behind him. It’d be a disaster if something happened while he was in that condition. I mean, there were several dangers on the way to his house, so I have to make sure he gets there safely.
I couldn’t stand looking at his dejected mannerisms as he anxiously kept walking, eyes on the ground. My heart couldn’t stop aching from seeing that.
He must be extremely hurt…
I want to comfort him right this very instant…
Worry plagued my mind, and just thinking about how much he’s suffering made me suffer too.
However, despite it all, I think I was smiling… I’m the worst for doing so.
That day, I watched as Hinata safely stepped into his house, and then left for my own. As I walked, countless thoughts popped into my mind. All I can say for now is that I’ll have an answer until tomorrow.
The next day, he arrived at school all by himself, quietly took his seat, and immediately gazed out the window.
“You’re all alone today,” I noted.
“…From now on, I guess,” he looked at me for a moment, then turned back to looking outside. I followed his gaze only to see Ichinose with a smile on her face, walking hand-in-hand with a guy as they were surrounded by others.
Hinata looked at Ichinose as she walked happily, and I looked at him.
From that day on, the school was abuzz with talk of her dating. It seems they didn’t hide the fact they got together, and instead made it all public. Now, they were recognized by the whole school as “the best couple.”
Everyone was paying attention to Ichinose and her new boyfriend, while no one even batted an eye at Hinata, who clearly lost his energy since yesterday. Furthermore, no one had any idea of the behavior of the class tumor: me.
Since Ichinose started dating, her relationship with Hinata started to take drastic changes. She mostly went out to see her boyfriend next class, and rarely stayed here with anyone.
Once, Hinata went out of her way and invited her out to lunch, but she flat-out refused him. Ichinose gave herself away while I reached the end of my years and years of patience.
For his sake, I couldn’t suppress these feelings I’d been holding back anymore.
Thank you for reading! Feel free to comment your opinions below!
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some mob
September 23, 2022 at 8:56 am……Steadily and constant wins the race….moreso since the the “competitor” is an idiot……
Well, in any case, two chapters left….meaning we probably won’t be able to see Ichinose’s fall from grace. I really wonder how her friends will look at her after her actions get revealed but chapter-wise we won’t be able to see it. Though from the fact she passed out somewhere makes me feel a bit bad for her……just a little bit….i feel more bad for the ikemen to be honest.
Sithis
September 23, 2022 at 9:45 amWell, unlike most of the reader’s, I think the ex is partly to blame. I mean, who, in their right mind, would ask a girl to be his girlfriend just beacuse of her looks and not knowing more about her. He could have asked her to go on dates a couple of times, and then get a notion of how she is. If she talked all the time about her childhood friend (or someone else or even just herself), she is a no-go. Therefore, I don’t feel anything that would make me pity him.
Also, the MC is to blame, because he never confessed to his childhood friend. However, his way to move on is refreshing.
Finally, B*tchinose is THE character to blame. Her attitude was awful from the beginning. Always high and mighty and extreme narcissism, made her believe that everyone should pay attention to her. Fortunately, reality came around and hit her real bad.
Tori
September 23, 2022 at 6:54 pm@Sithis MC being wrong is where I don’t agree with you, do remember, the childhood friend mentioned that they where together like always. He tried over and over again inviting her to go on dates alone with her but she denied his intentions by bringing others along all the time. She played the role of a dense protagonist to another level and realised her feelings when it was too late, even going yandere.
Apollo1245
September 23, 2022 at 10:58 amSlow and steady….. And patience and knowledge also wins the race called life. …… Looks like Kuraki is the slow and steady type who have patience and wait for the right opportunity to pounch at the chance gathering info about their target…… Looks like our MC is not gonna be able to cheat on her for the rest of his life….. 🤣
Truly patience and hardwork and observation bears a sweet sweet fruit named success ….. But Ichinose,aka., the so-called Childhood friend just takes everything that our MC Hinata did for granted and grew selfish and had a narcissistic character……
Well this story so far is good. I was thinking a kind of childhood friend dating then dumping him like in the many novels i have read …. But i didn’t think this plot would be so great and different in a good way ….
Thanks for the chapter and looking forward to the next one 😆
some mob
September 23, 2022 at 2:56 pm……Steadily and constant wins the race….moreso since the the “competitor” is an idiot……
Well, in any case, two chapters left….meaning we probably won’t be able to see Ichinose’s fall from grace. I really wonder how her friends will look at her after her actions get revealed but chapter-wise we won’t be able to see it. Though from the fact she passed out somewhere makes me feel a bit bad for her……just a little bit….i feel more bad for the ikemen to be honest.
chrestomancy
September 23, 2022 at 3:33 pmStill scared where the Yandere will go, now she’s unmasked…
Sithis
September 23, 2022 at 3:45 pmWell, unlike most of the reader’s, I think the ex is partly to blame. I mean, who, in their right mind, would ask a girl to be his girlfriend just beacuse of her looks and not knowing more about her. He could have asked her to go on dates a couple of times, and then get a notion of how she is. If she talked all the time about her childhood friend (or someone else or even just herself), she is a no-go. Therefore, I don’t feel anything that would make me pity him.
Also, the MC is to blame, because he never confessed to his childhood friend. However, his way to move on is refreshing.
Finally, B*tchinose is THE character to blame. Her attitude was awful from the beginning. Always high and mighty and extreme narcissism, made her believe that everyone should pay attention to her. Fortunately, reality came around and hit her real bad.
ynlucca
September 23, 2022 at 4:08 pmFair enough
Tori
September 24, 2022 at 12:54 am@Sithis MC being wrong is where I don’t agree with you, do remember, the childhood friend mentioned that they where together like always. He tried over and over again inviting her to go on dates alone with her but she denied his intentions by bringing others along all the time. She played the role of a dense protagonist to another level and realised her feelings when it was too late, even going yandere.
Sithis
September 24, 2022 at 3:19 am@Tori I understand your reasoning and even agree with you up to some point. Nevertheless, I still think the MC is to be blamed, in a small part, because of what I mentioned before. For example, if the MC couldn’t confess to the girl because she never gave him the chance, then why keep pursuing her? If she never gave the chance in 10 years (if I’m not wrong), I might add, then that’s more than enough to give up before living what he passed through.
The other reason is similar. If the girl didn’t give the MC the chance, he could have done many things like calling her in the phone and meet her somewhere neutral and confess, he could have written a letter (as we have read in other novels) or he could have done what the ex did. Call her while at school. I mean, an outsider did it and she went there and he confessed.
Let’s say that the girl went there when the MC called her. There he could have confessed.
Let’s say he called the girl and she didn’t go. That would prove how unimportant the MC to the girl was. If that’s the case, To me, that’s a powerful reason to move away from her.
Apollo1245
September 23, 2022 at 4:58 pmSlow and steady….. And patience and knowledge also wins the race called life. …… Looks like Kuraki is the slow and steady type who have patience and wait for the right opportunity to pounch at the chance gathering info about their target…… Looks like our MC is not gonna be able to cheat on her for the rest of his life….. 🤣
Truly patience and hardwork and observation bears a sweet sweet fruit named success ….. But Ichinose,aka., the so-called Childhood friend just takes everything that our MC Hinata did for granted and grew selfish and had a narcissistic character……
Well this story so far is good. I was thinking a kind of childhood friend dating then dumping him like in the many novels i have read …. But i didn’t think this plot would be so great and different in a good way ….
Thanks for the chapter and looking forward to the next one 😆
Saito A
September 23, 2022 at 10:12 pmMe gusta la novela ligera como va pero,para mí gusto el MC tiene una parte de culpa que la amiga de infancia no le hiciera caso para empezar no tuvo confianza, jamás aclaro sus sentimientos y cuando le decían que va a invitar a más personas pudo decir me gustaría tener una cita contigo pero solos y reafirmar su confianza , por desgracia las mujeres se dan cuenta cuando hay falta de confianza, puedo deducir que la amiga salió con el capitán de béisbol por la simple presión social y jamás había salido de la zona de confort y mucho menos había desafiado los sentimientos que tenía hacia su amigo de infancia. Aunque eso no quita el hecho de tener prejuicios contra las personas y pensar que los demás la van a esperar. Por desgracia el tiempo pasa y las decisiones que tomes cambiarán tu vida y las de los demás simplemente debes estar preparado para las consecuencias.
Saito A
September 24, 2022 at 4:12 amMe gusta la novela ligera como va pero,para mí gusto el MC tiene una parte de culpa que la amiga de infancia no le hiciera caso para empezar no tuvo confianza, jamás aclaro sus sentimientos y cuando le decían que va a invitar a más personas pudo decir me gustaría tener una cita contigo pero solos y reafirmar su confianza , por desgracia las mujeres se dan cuenta cuando hay falta de confianza, puedo deducir que la amiga salió con el capitán de béisbol por la simple presión social y jamás había salido de la zona de confort y mucho menos había desafiado los sentimientos que tenía hacia su amigo de infancia. Aunque eso no quita el hecho de tener prejuicios contra las personas y pensar que los demás la van a esperar. Por desgracia el tiempo pasa y las decisiones que tomes cambiarán tu vida y las de los demás simplemente debes estar preparado para las consecuencias.
Gatts
September 24, 2022 at 5:56 amThank you for the chapter !
Jackcoln
May 5, 2023 at 12:33 amWent out of her way??? Not his??? Mr.TL.. i think you made some mistake in the last paragraph
Jackcoln
May 5, 2023 at 6:32 amHinata went out of her way and invited her out to lunch,….went out of *his* way not her… TL
Jackcoln
May 5, 2023 at 6:33 amWent out of her way??? Not his??? Mr.TL.. i think you made some mistake in the last paragraph
ynlucca
May 5, 2023 at 7:05 amNah, it’s correct. Ty for going out of your way to tell me though. ;)