[Asuka Nomi PoV]
“Now let’s really break up for real this time.”
“What do you mean, “for real”? I-I don’t understand. …… I don’t understand!”
I was so excited that I screamed out loud.
The person in the vicinity looked at me with surprise. But it didn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what other people think.
“If possible, I would like to break up with you in a mutually satisfactory way. I don’t want to interfere with that. I want to have proper moderation.”
“No, no. I don’t want to do that! Did someone tell you something strange? Don’t say crazy things all of a sudden!”
I was staring at Hiroto with tears in my eyes.
Hiroto did not look away from me, and his tone was clear.
“I don’t expect you to be convinced right away. That’s why I want to talk about it.”
“This is not a discussion …….”
There is no way we can discuss this.
Hiroto gently drops his gaze and is a little reserved.
“I had an explosion of pent up emotions, and I broke up with Asuka in a fit of rage.”
” ……then we could start ov—“
“But I didn’t have half-hearted feelings. I didn’t break up with you on the assumption that we would get back together.”
I was silent.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I may have still been spoiled. No, I was definitely spoiled.
I thought Hiroto would forgive me.
I thought that somehow we would get back together, and we would be able to be lovers again.
I was the only one who was unaware that Hiroto and I had broken up.
It was just an extension of our fight, and now we are in the process of making up.
I had such a sweet thought that it made my stomach churn. ……
Yes, I know.
I was tormenting Hiroto for a long time.
There was no way this could be resolved in just a few days.
—Because Hiroto didn’t break up with me because he wanted me to fix what’s wrong with me.
–He broke up with me because he didn’t like me anymore.
Yet, I conveniently forgot about it.
“There’s no need to come to a decision right now. I’ve had a lot of opinions recently, and I’ve had time to think things over calmly. So I wanted Asuka to reconsider.”
“…… it’s fine.”
“If that’s what you want, that’s fine. It doesn’t matter if it’s an one sided love, Hirito.”
“Eh, no, we haven’t talked about this, right?”
“So, do you like me?”
Hiroto was at a loss for words.
I have been gradually distancing myself from Hiroto’s feelings over the past two years.
Hiroto was puzzled by a question that I would have answered immediately.
He confessed his feelings to me. He told me he liked me.
I disrespected his feelings. ……
It’s not something that can be recovered easily.
This current relationship is only making Hiroto suffer. ……
“We can talk every once in a while, okay? Just because we’re broken up doesn’t mean we have to cut ties, right?”
“It does. That was my intention at first, but now I don’t want to break it off.”
I closed my lunch box and got up from my seat.
“I understand. Then let’s really break up.”
“Eh, but is that okay?”
“Hiroto said so. I also thought it was not a good idea for us to stay together.”
I am sure that Hiroto did not intend to build a relationship with the expectation of getting back together with me.
But all I could think about was getting back together with Hiroto.
This difference will definitely become noise from now on.
I really don’t know what a breakup is. I don’t think Hiroto really understands it either.
We only have the same experience in relationships.
But I think Hiroto is trying to say that I should admit that we have broken up, not hold on to our feelings forever, and go our separate ways.
“I’m sorry for being so selfish. Thank you…….”
Crap. I’m starting to cry.
I wiped under my eyes with the back of my hand and quickly left the place.
I was lying on my desk with my face down, screaming out of my mind.
If I were to describe it in a cartoonish way, it would be as if my soul was floating in the air out of my mouth.
If a stranger were to see me now, they would be horrified. If it were a part-time job at a haunted house, there is no one better qualified than me.
“Ooi, oi, oi. Come back to life!”
While I was in a shell of a state, a girl shook my shoulder in a tone of exasperation.
I looked up and saw my friend Mami.
She had a blonde ponytail and skin whitened with makeup. She was a bit more on the girly side, and sat down in the seat in front of me.
“……I don’t want to come back to life.”
“This is serious. If you are so depressed, don’t you wish you had never listened to Hiroto? ’Not unless I’m with Hiroto!’ ’I want you to get back together with me!’ ’I’ll do anything! I’ll do anything!'”
Mami does an impersonation of me that looks nothing like me.
Normally I would complain, “I’m not like that!” but I couldn’t even muster up the energy to complain right now.
“Hiroto doesn’t like me anymore. I’m just making things difficult for him.”
“Uwa what a pain in the *ss.”
“aren’t you awful?”
“Because you are really bothering me. Ah but, you know, this means Hiroto-kun is now completely free, right?”
Mami giggles and leans forward, bringing her face closer.
“T-that’s right but…..”
“Then, I’ll go for him.”
“Ha? G-going after him…..?”
“What are you blabbermouths? In this vein, who else but Hiroto-kun could it be?”
“But, why Hiroto?”
“Because, isn’t Hiroto just plain good? He has a handsome face, and he is tall and slender. Also, he knows how to be a good boyfriend. He has basic specs like walking on the side of the road. He can study, he’s athletic, he’s a gentleman, and to be honest, I want to sleep with him!”
“Buha! Goho, goho! What are you saying…y-you idiot⁉︎”
I coughed unintentionally.
Naturally, heat naturally accumulated in my face and I became agitated with a bright red face.
“You’re too upset. Stupid people are always upset.”
“No, I’m not! If one of my friends had a crush on an ex-boyfriend, anyone would be upset! And you want to sleep with him ……”
“It’s a joke, a joke. It’s pretty bad that you can’t even see that, you know?”
“You’re the one who said that.”
There are things you can say and things you can’t say in jest.
Well, I forgive her because she’s my friend.
I turned away from her with my cheekbones.
“….I mean, Hiroto is not what he seems. If you’re not careful, you can get caught off guard.”
“W-Why are you being so stubborn?”
“Asuka doesn’t talk like that. I thought it was just a kiss!”
“I-I’m not going to tell you. You idiot!”
Mami’s lips pout forward in a muffled manner, and then she turns her thumbs upside down and complains. We’ve been together for over two years, and it would be weird if we didn’t have anything. ……
“Well, it doesn’t help if you’re still in love with Hiroto-kun, does it? Go and change your mind!”
“It’s not that easy to change my mind.”
“Uwa, you’re a real pain in the a*s, you know that? What’s more, Hiroto-kun is just thinking too much and getting stubborn. I’m sure he’ll change his mind in a month anyway.”
Mami said in an optimistic tone.
I shook my head.
“….Hiroto won’t change his mind.”
Hiroto is straightforward once he makes up his mind.
When he has serious eyes, he is suitably determined in his feelings.
He won’t change his mind in a month or so.
Mami slings her bag over her shoulder and sighs.
“You never know if things won’t change. You just have to make Hiroto think that he wants to go out with Asuka again, right?”
“There’s no way to do that. In the first place, Hiroto is not looking for a relationship….”
“You’re saying he doesn’t want to go out with Asuka?”
“Only Hiroto-kun knows how Hiroto-kun feels, and Asuka should do what Asuka wants to do. Asuka wants to get back together with Hiroto. In love, the more calculating person will win. Pretend to be satisfied with the breakup, and then take advantage of the opportunity to grab Hiroto’s heart again! Shouldn’t you have that kind of mindset?”
“……No, I can’t do that. I’m done with that. ……Yes, that’s right. We broke up for real this time and I think that’s the way to end it.”
“Ah I see. Then why do you keep messing around with it? See ya.”
“Wait, aren’t you going to comfort me?”
Mami leaves the classroom with light steps.
I rush to get up from my seat, but Mami makes a face like she’s biting a bitter bug.
“Sorry about that. If you’re going to give up on Hiroto-kun, you’d better quickly change your mind. There’s no point in dwelling on it.”
Mami leaves the classroom.
“It’s not I like to complain about it….”
I sat back down in my chair and talked to myself in the empty classroom.