Chapter 69: One and Solitary Static 2

Translator: Soafp

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[Sakakibara PoV]

“Help me.”

He is the worst. Truly the lowest.

With this, Shuya-senpai won’t be able to find any resolution no matter what he chooses.

Ignoring all of this man’s proposals and condemning him completely won’t work.

If I were in senpai’s position, that’s what I’d do. I wouldn’t care about these guys’ convenience. I’d choose the option that makes the most sense to me, and there’d be no room for sympathy.

But Shuya-senpai is different. The kind and gentle senpai would surely give in to this man’s proposal, using other club members as a shield.

In fact, it seems like there’s no choice but to accept the proposal.

“Don’t be ridiculous! This is just like a threat?!”

“Threat? Stop saying things that sound so bad. I’m just pleading, you know? Begging for forgiveness, asking for help!!”

That’s just sophistry. It’s clearly a threat.

No matter what, there’s no way for senpai to come up with a satisfactory answer.

If he goes along with this man’s proposal, things will go exactly as he wants. There’s no way senpai could accept that. The fact that this man is living as if nothing happened itself is a negative for senpai.

But if he doesn’t help this guy, he’ll be involving others. He’s already done so.

Senpai is kind, so if he does that, he’ll end up getting hurt. He’s aware of that, and that’s why he can’t bring himself to be ruthless.

Having become conscious of that, senpai definitely can’t make that choice.

“Hey, Kitami? If we keep going like this, we’ll cause trouble for everyone. So please forgive me, okay?”

“That’s true…”

Senpai looks down, showing that he’s contemplating what to do. But I think he probably already has an answer.

“It’s okay, I forgive you.”

Shuya senpai raises his head and says it briefly. I knew it, but my heart tightens at that decision.

“Senpai…”

“Oh, Sakakibara? Well, you know, I’m really not forcing myself or anything.”

That’s probably true. Senpai isn’t really forcing himself.

But that’s because he’s used to enduring things.

He endures it, and of course, it hurts.

“Is that true, Kitami?!”

“Yeah. I don’t intend to get involved, so deal with it on your own. If anyone asks, this is how you should respond. ‘I don’t know anything.'”

“Great! That’s perfect! If you deny it too much, it’ll only get more complicated. If you say you don’t know, it’ll end as just baseless rumors! And the person who spread the rumors will be stuck with it since it’ll look like they did it!! It’ll be as if it never happened!”

That’s right. There’s no way for Sonoda to proceed anymore. Once the matter between him and Senpai is settled, spreading false rumors will be pointless.

“Alright! Thanks, Kitami! Well then, I’ll be going!”

The man who moments ago seemed downcast now leaves the shop with high spirits. On the edge of my vision, I see Senpai with a calm expression. Ah, he truly has no self-awareness of his pain. He’s really insensitive to his own suffering.

(I can’t let it end like this.)

A strong conviction. I have a near-certain premonition. If it stays like this, an enduring pain will remain within Senpai.

(But what should I do…?)

There’s no one else who can change this situation.

“Wait a moment!”

She is the only one.　

(What a cool person.)

A dignified voice echoes from next to me. A voice with conviction that reaches the core of my being, putting my heart at ease.

Perhaps it’s about time I give up. No matter what choice I make, no matter what I let go of. Even beyond the point where I’ve endured and endured, and abandoned everything.

“I can’t accept that.”

Senpai can’t be alone anymore.

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[Kitami PoV]

I was alone.

I hated trusting people, and even now, I don’t think it’s a bad thing. It’s just an expression of anxiety that someday my expectations might be betrayed.

Being alone is frightening.

It’s probably a common emotion. Everyone has their own special something.

For me, it must have been “trust.” I wanted to trust others from the bottom of my heart. Without any worries or expectations, I just wanted to have faith in them.

“I can’t accept that.”

I can tell who she raised her voice for.

Maybe any trigger would have been enough, but I truly believe that it was good that it was Fukumura.

You can’t be alone, and the same goes the other way.

There will never be a spark between two isolated entities.

You need a trigger. No matter how small it is. It doesn’t have to be visible, and you don’t even have to feel it.

Heat carries on. The combined strength of two entities doesn’t always lead to a positive direction.

But still, even so.

There is meaning in those actions, and I reach out recklessly.

Because I’ve already been taught that the belief I once held was not wrong.

I was alone.

Since the day I became unable to trust myself, I’ve been alone all along.

I couldn’t become alone.

“Thank you, Fukumura.”

I was able to thank her without questioning her intentions because I trust her.

It might sound idealistic, but that’s what I was seeking.

(That’s more than enough.)

Just by raising her voice like this, she saved me. Only after being saved, I became aware of the pain.

I truly wasn’t forcing myself. It didn’t matter what happened to Shinohara or Sonoda. But I felt pained by the idea of involving the others in Shinohara’s proposal.

So I went along with the proposal. It didn’t matter if Shinohara benefited or lost from it.

But I guess, deep down, I was still frustrated. I don’t know if that frustration was deeply ingrained in my heart or not.

But now, those feelings have already dispersed. With just a word from Fukumura, even the slightest urge vanished completely.

So it should have been enough. It should have been enough, but…

“I’m sorry, Kitami. This isn’t for your sake.”

“Fukumura?”

In the end, yes. It was something special for her, something she couldn’t compromise on for anything else.

“You all are heading to hell.”

That figure of hers looked so radiant, no matter what.