V1Ch4: Part 1
“……? Feels like I had some kind of weird dream.”
That was the first thing I said when I woke up.
I remember that I went to bed last night after talking with Ayana after sorting out some things about this world.
After that, I think I had some kind of strange dream between the time I fell asleep and the time I woke up now, but I can’t …… remember it at all.
“Anyway, I think I’m going to get up. I think Mom is making breakfast.”
I left the room and headed for the living room, trying to cheer up my body, which was still complaining that it wanted to sleep a little more.
“Good morning, Towa”
“Good morning, Mom.”
I opened the door and walked in to find a delicious aroma wafting through the air.
The breakfast menu was the same as any other family’s, but I could tell that my mother’s love had been put into it.
(She also makes delicious bento boxes, as well as her regular meals.)
I guess it’s also because she is a mother and knows her son’s preferences.
I was staring at my mother’s back as she was scooping the miso soup into the bowl with a ladle and pouring it into the bowl.
It must be strange for me to be staring at her like this.
Mom stared at me and I wasn’t sure what to say, but the words that came out of my mouth were words of thanks to her.
“Thank you for everything, Mom. Your lunches and meals are the best I’ve ever tasted.”
When I told her this, she was still even more puzzled.
I was not lying when I said these words of thanks, but I was just overflowing with the feeling of wanting to tell my mother this.
(Is this also Towa’s emotion? Family…… something about wanting to reassure or please his only remaining mother).
At least I knew a lot of what was going on because it was my own family for me now.
First I explained that she was the only remaining mother, but it’s not that my father left me because he cheated on her or got divorced or anything, it’s just that there was an unfortunate accident and dad …… passed away.
I don’t understand how it feels to mourn your beloved partner. And yet, I think my mother is a truly amazing person for overcoming such a past and caring for her only son.
(There are so many things I really don’t know about her. I hope I will be able to remember from now on.)
I was so busy thinking about this that I didn’t notice my mother, who was standing beside me before I knew it.
I was surprised at the sudden movement, but I knew it was her.
Suddenly, Mom hugged me and I was surprised, but I felt very comfortable and at ease because she was the one who had hugged me.
“You say things that make me so happy! As a mother, I’m really happy to hear my son say that!”
Then I had breakfast with my mom.
I think it was because of the exchange we had just had that Mom was in such a good mood the whole time, and she kept grinning at me to the point that I was almost embarrassed.
（She’s so gorgeous)
This is what I thought when I saw her grinning like that.
She has brown hair and earrings in her ears, and for someone with a son who is old enough to be his age, she would be considered flamboyant compared to the average person.
But that doesn’t give the other person a negative impression of her, and if anything, she comes across as a woman who gives the impression of being a big sister.
Towa, you can take it easy if you want, but are you sure about the time?”
Needless to say, I hurried when I saw the clock.
I quickly finished brushing my teeth and got ready to go outside and I ran out of the house.
“I guess I’m going to be later than expected today.”
The words were no lie, and when I headed to the usual meeting place, I found Shu and Ayana waiting for me, chatting amiably.
“…Honestly, you two really get along.”
I wish that scene could go on forever, and the more I think about my role in it, the more I feel a little pain in my heart.
At the same time, I think about the joy and fun I had yesterday when I talked with Ayana,……, and I wish I could keep it to myself forever.
“…..This feeling, I wonder who I am.”
I have memories of my previous life, or rather, memories of my previous world.
That meant that there was a life before for me, and that was proof that I was a different person, not Towa.
But every time I feel the pull of my body after becoming Towa in this way, I am not sure if I am me or Towa.
“Aa~aah, what is this feeling?”
I am troubled like this, but my mood soon calms down after all.
After all, no matter who I am, I can’t change or stop myself from being Towa already.
“O~i Towa! What are you doing~!”
“Towa-kun! Come here quickly!”
“Ah! Sorry, sorry!”
I was called by the two, so I headed that way immediately.
I joined them and they started walking, but just like yesterday, they were walking ahead of me and I was walking a little behind them.
“By the way, my mother was wondering if you could come over today.”
“Today huh? Hmm….”
Ayana was troubled by Shu’s question.
It is not unusual for Shu and Ayana to go back and forth to each other’s homes since they live close to each other. It is also common for them to have dinner at either of their homes.
In the end, Ayana declined the invitation, saying that she wanted to do some shopping and that she would like to do it some other time, but Shu was not happy about it.
“Is that a higher priority than coming over?”
Ayana was troubled by Shu’s words.
I was listening from the side, but I thought it was not a good way to ask, so I put my hand on Shu’s shoulder and interrupted him.
“Ayana has her own personal business to attend to, right? There’s even a saying, “Even when you’re close to someone, be polite,” so don’t ask too many questions like that.”
Shu apologized obediently when I said that, but he still didn’t like it, and our conversation was extremely limited from then until we headed off to school.
“……I’m sorry, Towa-kun.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
Ayana apologized to me for making the atmosphere worse, but it’s nothing to worry about.
Shu will probably forget about it soon anyway, and he won’t have to worry about being delirious with Ayana.
In the end, Shu walked away quickly.
We followed behind him, smiling at each other.
“I lied about the shopping trip.”
I was surprised to hear Ayana say that, sticking out her tongue.
In other words, Ayana told a lie. …… Well, I don’t believe Ayana is a person who would never tell a lie, and it’s not uncommon for her to do so when she’s a human being.
Still, I thought it was quite surprising that she would lie to Shu.
“There are days when I want to spend time alone, too. Of course, I would be happier than anything else if Towa-kun were with me.”
Again,……, she says such things again.
Thus, when Ayana throws at me words that must be filled with deep meaning, I think back to yesterday’s phone call.
[I love you no matter what kind of person you are. It was not out of pity or sympathy that I offered my love to Towa-kun at that time. I offered it to you because I wanted to be by your side and support you.]
I was about to ask her boldly what she meant by those words, but Ayana took my hand before I could.
“It would be nice to go to school alone like this, but I don’t want to hear any more complaints from Shu-kun, so let’s go, okay?”
“…… I guess so.”
I chuckled, thinking that after all, Ayana doesn’t just spoil Shu either.
As I was walking along, feeling the warmth of Ayana’s hand on my palm, she suddenly turned her attention to me and opened her mouth.
“Towa-kun,……, is there something wrong?”
“What do you mean?”
“I felt like there was something different about you.”
The words made me stiff involuntarily.
Not only the movement of my body, but even my heart seemed to have stopped,……. What I mean is that I had the illusion that time had stopped.
I had changed somehow, and those were the core words that described who I was now.
“I was just feeling something, so don’t worry about it.”
Even though I told her not to worry about it, I was surprised and was also nervous that she would find out and reject me.
Ayana put a smile on her face and I was able to regain some sense of my body, but it still means that there are people who will notice the changes that have happened to me.
An emotional upset that I didn’t have when I was told by Ayana,…… This may be proof that Ayana is that special.
“……Uhm…..Did I make you care about that ……?”
It seemed that I had been looking stiff for a long time, and Ayana looked into my face with concern.
Ayana continued to speak again before I could tell her that it was okay, that I didn’t particularly care.
“When I say that you have changed, I don’t mean exactly what I said. It’s true that I thought Towa-kun has changed a little recently, …… but what can I say, I still think Towa-kun is Towa-kun.”
“What do you mean?”
“Haha,……, I don’t know either, but no matter how much people seem to have changed, I know that it’s you who is present here. My heart will never mistake Towa-kun, and that’s why I can say that you are Towa-kun as I hold your hand.”
I don’t understand it myself, Ayana said, laughing and walking away again.
One comment »
LexterFebruary 16, 2023 at 12:57 am