Side Story 7: White Monologue
I was staring at a house, feeling happy in the air-conditioned room.
There was no particular reason. Even if I had a little contact with the people living in that house, there is only one man who is important to me.
My life was smooth sailing.
I was born into a rich family and was blessed with good looks. Although I have some complaints about my development, I can now proudly say that it is one of my strengths.
After entering Himemiya Jogakuin, I grew up very quickly.
As I grew up, the topics of conversation around me gradually became more and more focused on love, and I began to talk about the seniors I admired at school.
At school, I stood out a little because of my small size, but other than that, I think it would be safe to say that I was generally normal. I didn’t have any bullying problems, and I had a good number of friends. School was a fun place.
One day, however, my life changed drastically.
The company that my father was running was going through a difficult time. My parents must have been under a lot of stress at that time, and I could tell even as a child that the house was in a state of panic.
My parents left my brother and I in my grandmother’s care.
My grandmother was very strict and made us learn various lessons. She also told us to put effort into our studies as well as our lessons, and we were exhausted every day. On the contrary, my younger brother was loved by my grandmother.
I learned later that my grandmother did not like my mother. I guess she also disliked me because I looked like her.
My life in this house distorted my personality a little.
When I became a junior high school student, my grandmother passed away and I was released from the hell of learning.
By that time, my parents’ faces had become peaceful. Apparently, the work mess had been cleared up. It was impressive that they looked apologetic, saying they were sorry for being so busy with work.
Once freed from the cramped life, I showed interest in girly things such as fashion, dramas, songs, and idols. Among these, I was especially strongly attracted to romance. I won’t deny that I also had a dreamy side, hoping for a fateful encounter with Prince Charming on a white horse.
The closest person to me of the opposite sex was my younger brother, Yakumo Shirase.
Yakumo attended an elementary school in the neighborhood and went straight to junior high school. He had always been tall and, unlike me, was an athlete.
I was the complete opposite of Yakumo, who had attended Himemiya Jogakuin from the elementary school level and had never grown taller and was not very good at sports.
At some point, I began to develop special feelings for Yakumo.
However, I was not yet aware of it at that time. I had attended an all-girls school from the elementary level, so I had no experience talking to boys even in junior high school. So I didn’t really know how I felt.
As usual, my parents were busy, and I was taking care of Yakumo.
I really enjoyed that time.
I was tickled by his childlike appearance as he played happily on his own and fell asleep after a long day.
The next thing I knew, I felt a desire to monopolize them. I followed Yakumo when he went out to play with his friends and checked out their friendship. When I found out that Yakumo was popular at school, I developed negative feelings inside me.
Around that time, I became aware of my love for Yakumo.
Simultaneously, I began to want to have Yakumo turn special feelings toward me.
I studied magazines and the Internet to find out how to get men to fall in love with me.
I got the information that boys like a girl with a hint of mockery, so I took advantage of my short stature and aggressively adopted the upper eye contact and the screwed-up girl elements. Well, as for the screw-ups, I was not really aiming for them, since I originally had no athletic ability.
It was all for Yakumo to like me.
However, no matter how much I looked up at him, it was pointless. Even if I intentionally fell down to appeal to him as a clumsy girl, his reaction was not good. When I fell down, he worried about me as a relative, but there was no further effect.
Maybe I have no sense?
One day, while living in a state of frustration and emotional turmoil, I approached Yakumo without hesitation.
I lightly grasped his hand and eventually kissed him on the cheek, calling it skinship between sister and brother. When I finally couldn’t hold back any longer and tried to take his lips.
“……Wait, you’re too close. You and I are brother and sister, aren’t we?”
I was rejected.
I did not tell Yakumo how I felt. I have always said that it was only a skinship between sister and brother. So even then.
“Yes, yes. I’m just kidding, just kidding.”
I put on a big sister air.
But inwardly, I was shocked by Yakumo’s words.
It is true.
Real siblings cannot get married. Unfortunately, there is a wall of law that cannot be changed unless I become the prime minister.
I was so shocked by the rejection that I was blocked up. It was my first setback.
I was sulking, and I was mildly desperate. I decided to become a delinquent and took a detour on my way home from school.
I stopped at a nearby park.
As I wandered around the park, my eyes caught the reflection of a male student of my age. I didn’t even know his name, but when I noticed him, I called out to him.
He looked gloomy.
I tried to pick up on him with the knowledge I had seen on TV and the Internet, and it worked out well, mysteriously.
It was almost my first experience talking to boys. The person said that I was pushy. Apparently, my approach was a bit aggressive. I would like to make an excuse that my experience of talking to men is limited to my family and I did not know how to interact with men.
He was a very kind man. He listened to my poor story without making me feel bad. I felt that he was just like Yakumo except for his appearance.
When I came home that day, Yakumo was worried about me.
“Sis, you seem to be late today.”
Yakumo’s face clouded over.
Thinking it might be possible, I continued to see him the next day and beyond. When I returned home, Yakumo had a worried look on his face.
I was convinced.
I was sure that Yakumo had some special feelings for me.
In fact, he did not.
However, I misunderstood and came up with a plan.
……I’ll use him to deepen my relationship with Yakumo.
The moment the devil was in my heart. I went to the park and deepened my relationship with that boy. Naturally, I didn’t tell him about my brother, but I used all the techniques I had developed over the years.
Looking back, I see that I was full of holes. At that time, I was always talking about myself, and I never had the consideration to listen to what the other person had to say.
On Valentine’s Day, we became lovers.
That is when I found out the name of the other person.
Shota Mukawa. He was my first boyfriend.
However, it was just a cover to make Yakumo have special feelings for me.
My strategy was to make Yakumo jealous and make him fall in love with me. If I told him that I had a boyfriend, he would be upset. I was hoping that the feeling of having his sister stolen from him would work.
Looking back on it now, it was a very stupid strategy, but at the time I really thought it would work.
However, that plan came to nothing when a huge wave of unrelated events occurred.
A few days after Shota and I became lovers.
To my bewildered amazement, my father began to explain.
Suddenly, I was advised to go on an arranged marriage.
He had received information that a young man from a big company was looking for someone to marry, and he wanted me to marry him.
This is a joke. Because I love Yakumo.
Is it possible that Father is aware of my feelings? Is that why he treated me so badly?
But there was not much I could do at that time.
I had feelings of love for my brother, but I had common sense. I cannot marry my brother. After much worrying, I decided to accept my father’s offer.
In doing so, a problem arose. It was Shota’s presence.
The relationship I had entered into in order to fire up Yakumo, but if I was going to have an arranged marriage, I needed to break up with him. However, I did not know how to break up with him because I had not planned to break up with him.
“Yakumo, I have a favor to ask you.”
In retrospect, this was a huge mistake.
I asked Yakumo to pretend to be my boyfriend and dump Shota-san.
As I had hoped, I broke up with Shota-san and succeeded in making out with Yakumo in the hush of the moment. Although we were only playing the role of lovers, I felt like I was going crazy with happiness when I was entangled in Yakumo’s arms.
At that time, I didn’t realize how sinful and hurtful it was to my partner.
I also had no idea how much it would burn me up to be in love with someone I love, even if it is a fake relationship.
Shota-san is a kind person who listened to my problems. I am sure he will meet someone more wonderful soon. That’s what I thought at the time.
A few days passed after our breakup, and my father told me a shocking news.
The blind date flowed. He said that the other person already had someone in mind. He had originally had a partner in mind and said he wanted to marry that person.
I was furious.
I swallowed down my various emotions and prepared myself to accept the arranged marriage proposal, but my father did not seem to care about my life at all.
After this, my relationship with my father deteriorated.
“Sis, wasn’t that man your boyfriend?”
“Uhm, …… that.”
“I don’t know why you want to break up with him, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to lie. Don’t use me as leverage.”
Yakumo was upset that he was being used as a reason to break up with Shota. It is only natural, when you think about it.
I never told Yakumo that I was not in love with Shota-san. I felt that saying that would make him hate me even more, so I kept quiet.
“I felt sorry for that person because of the way you broke up with him.”
This one incident was a turning point in my relationship with Yakumo, and it soured it a bit.
It was a very painful wound for me. I had grown very attached to Yakumo in that one moment when he pretended to be my lover. I can’t help but feel that he might have disliked me.
But at the same time, I felt guilty toward Shota-san.
I was troubled by the conflict with my father, my feelings for Yakumo, and the guilt I felt for Shota-san.
Furthermore, another problem arose around the time I graduated from junior high school.
Yakumo had found someone he liked.
Yakumo thought he was hiding it, but I could tell because his attitude was clear. It was as shocking as being hit on the head with a hammer. Somewhere in my mind, I had dreamed that Yakumo and I might be in love with each other.
The unforgivable devil is Kanon Nijitani-san……. my junior.
27 comments »
curz0April 12, 2022 at 12:14 am
Thanks for the chapter!
DarkSilverApril 12, 2022 at 12:31 am
OmnefariousApril 12, 2022 at 12:36 am
I can see how she turned out so messed-up. Her parents practically abandoned her for a time, her grandmother mistreated her out of misplaced spite towards the mother, and she seems to be nothing but a bargaining chip to her father and his business ventures. That doesn’t justify her actions though. She may not have known Shota’s whole situation, but she used him and then tossed him aside when she thought she was getting what she really wanted, if only for a moment. And even though she realizes her love is one-sided and unlikely to come to fruition, she is determined to go full Sweet Home Alabama with her younger brother. She’ll even ruin his relationship with another girl he actually likes to get what she wants. This girl a narcissistic, scheming, sociopath and likely the worst of the four when it comes to personality.
Still hate Red and Blue the most though
drkstarmageApril 12, 2022 at 4:09 am
hmmm i think white will be the worst since she is the one most likely to o something to the step sis to get what she wants
Mr. RageApril 13, 2022 at 8:13 am
Red might have done the most damage, but white is by far the worst person. “Oh, but I felt bad later!” Nah, F this thot. I hope messed up s**t out of a revenge novel happens to her.
commentorApril 3, 2023 at 5:58 pm
i think white is worser than red and blue, even though she went through some stuff, it still dosent explain how she can see her brother as a romantic interest, with the events that transpired in her life she should have most probably built trust issues or other mental illnesses like depression or s**t rather than romantic feelings for her siblings younger than her at that, the way she described her younger brother calling him good looking and stuff even before she was romantically attracted to him showed how twisted this b***h was born. she is the worst one yet.
i found similarities between her and red as they both were trying to win their lovers using the jealousy tactic, both were idiots but white was the bigger one as she thought she could make her own brother jealous romantically.
as far i have observed, evry girl in this series has a rotten personality, like red is a stubborn b***h who tries to justify her doing by blaming others, blue is an insecure selfish unloyal b***h who in order to maintain her social status, instead of helping mc whom she knew was not at wrong, decided to ignore him even though she called him her ‘bestfriend’, black’s mild compared to the other b*****s but she is a hypocrite for beating a dude for believing in the rumors which she could have stopped from spreading if she cleared in the first place and i dont believe in the revenge mentality that black has as it just bring harm rather than solving problems.
if i were to rank these b*****s on the level of bitchness then-
1 white( she is the only b***h that needs therapy)
2 red ( she is just a sadistic idiot )
3 blue( she didnt affect mc much as i have observed from reading mc’s monologue as she is somewhat treated same as renji, until the ‘stairs’ incident )
Shimura FaylaneApril 12, 2022 at 1:06 am
Yeah, Red and Blue are still the lowest on my opinions. But still, Yakumo likes Shota’s stepsister huh? What a plot twist.
natanApril 3, 2023 at 6:02 pm
how bro? white is clearly the worst
pezantriApril 12, 2022 at 1:07 am
As expected, the order is white, red, blue and black, in order from most to least awful. I’m still a bit concerned how the male best friend seems to come out of everything looking better, but hopefully it’s not a case of him being too good to be true.
StonksCoffeeApril 12, 2022 at 1:59 am
Used to think Blue or Red were the worst. I change my mind, White is definitely the worst. Nothing but lies and manipulation from the very beginning because she wanted some sweet home Alabama. Hope Yakima and the MCs step sister get together to rub some salt in the wound. Awful.
Apollo1245April 12, 2022 at 2:48 am
True that man i also changed mind, the lowest of them all is white no questions asked.
Apollo1245April 12, 2022 at 2:45 am
Yeah out of all the goddesses I feel the least if not any sympathy for White, she is just playing with Shota’s feelings to fulfil her own desires which she knows will never succeed. She just destroys a person’s heart without having a second thought about it and doesn’t even feel remorse about it. The rest of the goddesses were in fact a bit pitiful but she doesn’t even deserve that pity also. Anyways Thanks for the chapter and looking forward to the next one
Strawberry MilkshakeApril 12, 2022 at 3:16 am
You thought we’re rooting for you? But NO
KANON X YAKUMO FTW !!
Patrick Joe YapApril 12, 2022 at 8:20 am
Light novel junkyApril 12, 2022 at 4:06 am
Ok thanks for the chapter, but why is nobody pointing out that shota is legit Holmes level deductive ability? Everyone else in the chapter (me included) thought either “how the f**k did he reach that conclusion” or ” that feels like a bit of a reach”. But lo and behold.
drkstarmageApril 12, 2022 at 4:11 am
oh i agree he does he saw thru white chapters ago and is always on high alert with any of them around
[ ]April 12, 2022 at 4:54 am
Yeah he all got it right such a great detective
PuckApril 12, 2022 at 4:18 am
Pff,……Hahahahaha, to think that our dear idiot MC had guessed right on the most absurd of his theories!!……What a Plot-Twist, hahahahahahahah!!……Anyway my ranking remains Red, White, Blue and very far Black(I have a faint hope that Black finds herself in love with Shota and that he accepts her filings after receiving proprer apologies, even if it’s practically a close to 0% chance).
White is practically a bro-con version of Red with serious psychological problems, given by a familiar environment totaly opposite of Red.
So for me, even now, Red remains the worst of them all by far(ungrateful, sadic, narcissist b***h)!
I’m so sorry for Yakumo, not only he have to deal with a twisted sister with a serious brother complex case, but he also fell in love with Shota step-sister who seems to be a hard-core case of Yuri towards Black.
Seriously bro, you are the second most pitiful character in this story, which makes you even more miserable,……poor boy.
OmnefariousApril 12, 2022 at 5:32 am
Hey another person on the same wavelength as me when it comes to Red.
Yakumo seems like a decent dude as well; he called White out on her BS for how she used him to break-up with Shota. If this story doesn’t get a single decent heroines/female lead by the end, my handcanon will be Shota, Renji, and Yakumo riding off into the sunset to bro it up as a trio of bachelors for the rest of their days.
Patrick Joe YapApril 12, 2022 at 8:23 am
Normally I wouldn’t accept it, but in this case I would gladly see this ship sail seeing how the story goes to be honest.
PuckApril 12, 2022 at 8:10 pm
I have a fait hope toward Red little sis. If Black Ship wond sinck, it would be very amusing if the little sister captured the love interest that the older sister has let slip for her hateful temper. I thinkthere is 0 – 0.1% chance given how much red is modeled on the lines of Hiraghi from TGWTM. I would be truly ecstatic to see Red crumbled in the arms of that b*****d of “Neko-chan” while Shota walks away in the horizon hand in hand with Red’s little sister!! Is it perhaps clean that I ardently loathe Red and Nekoda?
Light novel junkyApril 12, 2022 at 11:14 pm
“puts on prediction glasses” ok let’s see, let’s see….. Ok so yakumo tries to ask kanon out, shota is nearby and thinks yakumo is trying to use her has a scapegoat since he’s “dating” his older sister. Kanon is angry at shota initially for butting in, but after he explains why he’s said what he did yakumo will recognize him and try to set the record straight at this point neither will be willing to listen. Later he snaps at his sister who not not only used him as a tool to dump someone but that person is now the older stepbrother of his crush and white knew all this when she approached shota after his transfer. Also gonna throw this but the only ones I don’t flat out hate atm are neko and black. For neko, the path to hell and all that. And for black she wasn’t really aware of what all happened and could only take what her surroundings said happened as fact since she didn’t know either.
GattsApril 12, 2022 at 4:47 am
Thank you for the chapter !
UnknownhellApril 12, 2022 at 12:18 pm
Frankly, at this point, it is creepy that the inuyama is the only good “encounter” the MC have.
Why didn’t anyone ask “who initiate the rumor?”
What if, inuyama knew all the facts, MC has returned etc.
He knew the guilt that those goddesses had.
That’s why he talked to them about their “crimes” with them around.
ClosetWeeb101April 12, 2022 at 4:17 pm
Worst girl right there
kenchan223April 19, 2022 at 7:32 am
Holy s**t, Shirase’s brother likes Mukawa’s step sister? damn!
ゼロ35June 5, 2022 at 1:42 pm
Kinda ironic that White is the absolute worst while Black is the most decent among the four. Nice one Author………e