I crossed the crosswalk and turned around to see Rinka standing there alone.
I swore in my heart, “Suck it up!”
But I couldn’t think that way. I saw the look on her face as if she was about to collapse the moment I told her I was breaking up with her.
The more I tried to think that this was okay, that this was the right thing to do, the more regret arose.
Was it really a good thing that we had parted?
Was it right to break up like this?
Every time I thought about this, I fell into self-loathing and my walking speed increased.
I slipped into the train that came to the platform just in time.
Since it was time to leave for school, there were many students on the train. I was thinking about Rinka as I looked at the couple next to me.
When I went home after that, more and more regrets were born. Even my favorite hamburger steak for dinner was too much for me to finish.
My mother was worried about my apparent strange behavior, and my younger sister, who usually swears at me, was concerned about me.
I holed myself up in my room alone, looking at the present on my desk that I was going to give her tomorrow, and wondering whether I should throw it away or not. I tried to throw it away, but I couldn’t do it. I also wanted to throw away the photo stand on my desk, but I couldn’t do it.
It’s hard for me even though I dumped her.
I should have known better than anyone that she was not being honest with me.
Why didn’t I try to understand her?
I couldn’t sleep that day.
I was in no mood to go out the next day or the day after that, and my two-day vacation came to an end.
On Monday morning, I left home much earlier than usual.
My mother was still worried about me, and she was beginning to suspect something about my sister.
In the early days of our relationship, we used to meet at the station every day. Rinka and I were one station away from school, so she would come to my station first and we would wait for the train together.
I left earlier than usual today because I didn’t want to run into Rinka. Since we had already broken up, Rinka didn’t need to wait for me every time. So, even if I didn’t change my commuting time to school, I wouldn’t see her, but I decided to take the train about two trains earlier than usual, just in case.
When I got off the stairs and arrived at the station platform, there was a beautiful woman standing in front of me who looked familiar.
The woman I had seen and touched many times before.
It was Rinka.
I felt a pain in my heart when I saw her. Two days had not cured the pain of a broken heart.
When she noticed me, she also came toward me immediately.
Rinka came at me with such force that I couldn’t avoid her and hit her with the same force.
I thought for a moment that she was upset that I had dumped her, but that was not the case. She was in my chest, and she was shedding big tears. I had no idea why.
Her voice sounded as if she was about to disappear. Her arms were around my back and she was hugging me tightly.
It was early in the morning and there were no students around, not many people, but a woman crying in a man’s chest early in the morning would naturally attract attention.
“Wait a minute, let’s calm down for a moment.”
Suddenly I was hugged by my crying ex-girlfriend, and I wasn’t in a situation where I could calm down either, but she kept apologizing, so I knew I had to calm her down first.
“…I’m really… sorry.”
Still, she was not going to stop.
“The truth is… I love you so… much, I don’t want to leave you.”
I was indeed not going to be able to calm her down at this rate.